4 Soft Kinks Your Lady Secretly Wants to Explore
Give her the kind of sex she craves
The sex was really fucking good.
It just wasn’t all that exciting.
I couldn’t pinpoint what was missing, though.
On paper, I was getting laid real nice.
Plenty of pussy eating. Good dick that could go deep and hard. As many orgasms as I could handle.
But that was part of the problem. I was getting laid a little too nice.
The pleasure was all there. It’s the thrill that was missing.
And I didn’t know how to explain it because I couldn’t find the words for what I wanted.
I felt like I wanted the sex to be kinkier, but that seemed like too strong of a word. Whenever I looked up kinks, I didn’t get turned on - I got intimidated.
I’d see asses getting caned so hard it would leave red tiger stripe marks.
I saw bondage so extreme just looking at it was enough to make me physically uncomfortable.
I found porn with sex that was so rough I knew I would never be able to get fucked that way and actually like it.
I got so intimidated that I stopped looking. Which is a shame, because I was actually on the right track.
Turns out kinky sex is exactly what I needed - it’s just that my kinks happen to be soft and gentle ones.
And honestly, I think that’s really typical.
Some women love extreme kinks and incredibly rough sex. Other women prefer keeping it vanilla.
But I get the impression that most women are somewhere in between. They get turned on by kinky sex and it thrills them more than vanilla fucking - as long as the kinks aren’t too hardcore.
The problem is, a lot of them also have a hard time putting exactly what they want into words. And that means they’re not getting the kind of sex they really crave.
So, here are four really common kinks that your lady might secretly want to experiment with. Working a little bit of them in the way you fuck her might be exactly what it takes to get her extremely turned on, leave her really satisfied, and have her wanting more.
Plain Jane Submission
A lot of women who think of themselves as really vanilla still get extremely turned on by being dominated during sex.
Guys sometimes get the wrong idea, though. They think that being more dominant in bed means getting really forceful, being degrading, or just fucking her hard and rough.
And it can definitely be all of those things - and there are plenty of women who would totally get off on it.
But there are more women who get turned off by it.
If your girl craves a little domination, it’s probably going to be a lot more gentle than that.
It’s less about you forcing yourself on her and more about making her feel taken. She wants to feel like you’re taking the lead, not like she’s being bossed around.
And it’s less about rough sex than about feeling like you’re taking control. She wants you to move her, position her, grab her - not choke her or fuck her as hard as you can.
For the most part, it’s actually going to look a lot like the sex you normally have.
You’re going to be doing all the same stuff you would’ve done anyway. You’ll fuck in all the same positions. You’ll rub her pussy the way she loves it rubbed. You’ll let her blow you with all her favorite techniques.
Maybe you’ll pin her wrists down while you fuck her. If she’s into it, you can even give her a slow, shallow facefuck. But mostly, it’s your attitude that’s going to be different - and how submissive it makes her feel.
Light Bondage
Light bondage works on a few different levels.
It’s a sensory experience. I love tugging against restraints. And not being able to squirm or move around freely is surprisingly arousing.
It also enhances all the sensations she already enjoys. Being blindfolded and not being able to move freely makes every touch, every stroke, and every lick feel even more intense.
But the hottest thing about it is that restraining any part of her body is going to make her feel instantly submissive. She’s giving up control and putting extra trust in you, which can be an extremely arousing experience.
Just make sure you keep it light.
Bondage rope is really fucking cool, but it’s also complicated and can be unsafe if you don’t have much experience with it.
Things like hoods, ball gags, or restraints that pin her so much she can’t move are more likely to be distressing than fun if she’s not the super kinky type.
Stick with some basic stuff, like a blindfold and a set of cuffs. That’s a really good place to start, especially if she’s never experimented with bondage before.
Under the bed restraints are great too. You can use them to strap her wrists and ankles to make her extra helpless, but still leave her with a comfortable amount of movement.
Hogtie restraints are surprisingly fun, too. They sound intimidating, but it can be a really good way to turn missionary or spooning sex into something a little more naughty.
If that really sparks something in her, she might want to start trying out tighter, more complicated types of bondage. But there’s a good chance the under the bed restraints and cuffs are all she’s ever going to need.
Praise Kink
Everyone loves getting praise. It feels good. It’s reassuring. It’s validating.
But there’s not nearly enough of it during sex.
Which is too bad, because it doesn’t just feel nice to get praised when you’re getting it on - it’s an actual turn on.
Your lady doesn’t just want to fuck. She wants to feel cute. She wants you to think she’s hot. She wants to be sexy for you.
Depending on her personality, she either wants to be your good girl or your bad girl. She wants to be your naughty sweetheart or your personal little slut.
And she wants confirmation that you see her that way.
She wants you to fuck her passionately. She wants to hear you groan when she’s pleasuring you.
But that’s not enough - she wants to hear it too.
She wants you to tell her that she’s turning you on. That she’s exciting you. That you fucking love the things she does to you.
As long as it’s sincere, anyway. Sweet nothings are fine, but this is different. It’s only praise if she knows she earned it.
Compliment her body. Tell her you love the way she squirms when you finger her. Take your mouth off her pussy to tell her how good she tastes.
Tell her to take her panties off and call her a good girl when she strips for you.
When she’s sucking your cock, let her know exactly what you love about it. The way she uses her tongue. How fast and enthusiastic she is. What a sloppy little cocksucker she is. How amazing her soft, wet lips feel against the head of your cock.
Praise her from start to finish and you might be surprised at how eagerly horny she gets.
Gentle DDlg
DDlg is something that puts a lot of people off when they first hear about it. Even finding out that it stands for Daddy Dom and little girl can rub people the wrong way.
But DDlg is on a pretty big spectrum and you don’t have to go to the far end of it.
Unless she’s deep into this kink, your lady probably won’t want to do any serious age play. And she definitely won’t want to get any pacifiers and sippy cups involved.
But there’s a pretty good chance your lady has dabbled in some light DDlg fantasies.
I mean, schoolgirl outfits are an incredibly popular roleplay accessory for a reason. And it’s not just because it feeds into men’s fantasies - it’s because they’re a big fantasy for women too.
It’s the thrill of pretending that you’re more innocent than you are. It’s a way to chase the intense emotional rush you can only really get when you’re fucking for the first time.
It’s also a way for her to lean into her sweetness and cuteness - and to feel like she’s extra fuckable because of it.
And it’s a way to bring out the daddy qualities in you. DDlg roleplay involves you being more caring and nurturing when you fuck her. It means calling her sweet pet names when she’s doing dirty things to you.
It’s also a perfect excuse to give her a good spanking and punish her for being a bad girl.
And that might be just what she needs.
Try Something a Little Spicier
There are lots of reasons why some women lose interest in sex over time.
Sometimes the sex just sucks and it’s not worth getting all worked up for it.
It can be stress or hormones. Medical issues or the medications she needs to manage them.
But sometimes, it’s this. It’s that she wants a tiny dose of kink to make the sex really satisfying.
Not every girl is into kink, though - even the softer stuff. And even if she is, some kinks are going to work way better for your lady than others.
So, start off slowly. Ease into the kinky stuff. Gauge her response to see if she’s into it - and if she wants more.
Or just ask her if she’s interested in trying any of them - and don’t be surprised if she gets really excited about it.
This post contains affiliate links to all sorts of fun restraints and naughty accessories that will help you bring out your lady’s kinky side! If you click on one and treat yourself to anything from the site, I earn a small commission and you’ll be ready to really spice up your sex life! And be sure to use the code LOVEEMMA at checkout to save 15% on your entire order!
If you liked this article, you should totally check out the Add a Little Bit of Spice (Introducing BDSM, Kinky Toys, and Sexy Helplessness) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!
