Why Every Woman Should Play With Her Asshole
4 reasons his cock shouldn’t be the first thing in your ass
There’s one really big anal sex mistake that almost every woman makes.
She gets a guy involved.
Not everyone is into anal, and I get that.
But I can’t help but notice a very clear pattern.
The women who hate assplay usually have a story about the moment they made up their mind. That one time they decided to go for it and it wasn’t fun or naughty - it was uncomfortable and unpleasant.
And almost all of those stories start the same way - with a guy who really wants to try buttstuff.
It could be a husband who wants to spice things up. A boyfriend who really wants to know what it’s like to have his dick in a girl’s ass. A casual fuck who was exciting enough to talk her into anything.
Those stories end the same way too - with her wishing she got her pussy fucked instead.
And that’s a shame because anal is really fucking fun. Good ass play is very enjoyable. Anal stimulation is highly pleasurable. And the orgasms you get when your ass is involved are incredibly intense.
So, I’ve got a proposition for all the ladies who haven’t tried anal sex yet or want to have a better experience the next time they do it.
Play with your asshole first.
There’s nothing wrong with getting your ass fucked by a guy you like. In fact, that’s one of my favorite ways to do it.
But you should have fun with your ass before anyone else does.
Here’s why you should get into solo anal before any other kind of assplay.
You’ll Never Go Past Your Comfort Zone
When you’re playing with your own ass, the anal action is going to be on completely your terms.
You’ll go as slowly as you want to go. You’ll take as much time as it takes for you to get comfortable.
You can rub your lubed up asshole and never give yourself any penetrative play if you don’t feel ready for it.
You can tap out and try again another time if you just can’t get it right.
If fussing around with your buttplug is making you lose your arousal, you can play with your pussy until you get it back and try again.
That’s going to make all the difference, because having comfortable anal isn’t always easy - especially on your first time.
And it’s not like every guy is too selfish to treat your ass the way it should be treated - or too clueless to figure out what you need.
It’s that you’re dealing with a really sensitive part of your body. Your asshole isn’t like your pussy - its instinct is to resist getting fucked. It can tighten and clench in an instant.
When you can feel that tightening about to happen, you can ease up before it gets uncomfortable. But even the most well-meaning and caring buttfucker isn’t going to be that quick. He’ll have to pick up on the cues that it’s getting just a little too much for you - and he can pick up on those a moment too late.
That’s not bad when you’re used to having something in your ass. When you’ve practiced the techniques to make penetration easier and you’re familiar with the sensations that tell you that you should pull back, then you can take a cock safely and comfortably.
Until then, it should just be you, your fingers, your butt toys, and your favorite anal fantasies.
You’ll Experiment Without the Weird Feelings
First time anal experiences can go wrong even when you’re doing everything right.
He’s being patient and attentive. He’s going as slow as you want him to go. He’s looking out for any clue that you’re experiencing discomfort and easing off the moment he sees them.
He gave you lots of foreplay. He said all the sweet, reassuring things you wanted to hear.
You got all worked up for buttstuff. You binge watched amazing anal porn. You looked up the best positions and you’re both lubed up like nobody’s business.
But it’s still a struggle.
It’s confusing and frustrating. You can’t figure out what you’re doing wrong - because you’re not doing anything wrong.
The problem isn’t with anything you’re doing. The problem is that he’s there with you.
Trying anal with someone else can feel a little awkward, especially when you’re having trouble pulling it off.
If you’re not used to having your asshole admired and touched, you might feel embarrassed.
In general, you’re just going to feel way more nervous when you’re experimenting with someone else.
And that’s going to make it tougher for you and your asshole to relax and enjoy some smooth penetration.
When you’re all by yourself, you’re in a better emotional space to finger and fuck your ass. It’s a lot easier to relax. You don’t have to worry about anyone else’s enjoyment.
If you feel a little awkward or embarrassed playing with your ass, it’s not going to be anywhere near as intense as it would be if you were letting someone else go at it.
Going solo will help you get some comfortable, pleasurable anal stimulation. You can learn about your body and what it needs - then use that to have fantastic anal sex with a partner.
You’ll Learn How You Actually Feel About Anal
One thing that sucks about a lot of women’s first anal sex experiences is that it’s really not about them.
She might like the idea of anal. She might be curious about it. Maybe she seriously thought about trying it.
But that’s not why she’s doing it. Mostly, it’s because her partner wants to try it.
And that makes it hard for her to really sort out her feelings about it.
Even if it’s completely your idea, having anal sex with someone else is going to be at least partly about them.
That’s going to affect how you feel about the whole experience.
If it didn’t go well, you might have a hard time picking apart what you hated about it. Is it anal sex you hated? Or the fact that he was a little too careless with your body?
Did it turn you off to have a cock in your ass? Or were you turned off by how impatient he was?
Even if it goes well, it’s still kind of fuzzy.
Did you love the intense sensation of having his cock slide into your ass? Or did it just feel hot because you were fulfilling his fantasy?
Did you lose yourself in pleasure? Or did you just feel that way because it made him lose his mind?
Being your own first is a lot less confusing. You can experience anal stimulation on its own and figure out exactly how you feel about it.
If it doesn’t do anything for you, then you’ll look for a different way to be your partner’s dirty girl.
If it really turns you on and get you off, you’ll know that a bad experience has nothing to do with your asshole - and everything to do with the asshole who couldn’t fuck you right.
And you’ll always know that you’re having anal sex for you - because you love it, not because you feel like you should.
You’ll Find Out What Your Ass Loves
Anal experimentation with a partner tends to be about one thing and one thing only - taking his dick in your ass.
Even when there’s other kinds of assplay involved, it’s usually to work up to full blown ass fucking.
But getting your ass fucked is just one kind of anal stimulation, and it might not even end up being your favorite.
One of the most exciting things about solo anal is that there can be a lot of variety. You can pleasure your ass in so many different ways.
You can just hold a buttplug in your ass for a while and see what that feels like.
You can work a plug in your butt and leave it there when you masturbate.
You can give the toy a few little taps and enjoy the jolt of pleasure you get from it.
You can really play around and feel the difference between getting fucked with something slim like a finger and something girthier like a dildo.
You can use vibrating toys in your ass and see if that intensifies your pleasure.
You can try shallow penetration, deep penetration, or just play at the surface without penetrating your asshole at all.
With all that experimenting, you can get a really good idea of what kind of anal stimulation you prefer. And you’ll know what kind of you want to incorporate when you have sex.
You might still just want him to fuck your ass.
But maybe you’ll find out you’d rather have a buttplug in while he’s fucking and playing with your pussy. Or that you just want him to eat your ass while he fingers you.
And if you love everything you experimented with, you’ll want to find a way to incorporate all of it while fucking.
Enjoy Some Perfect Anal
I was fascinated and turned on by anal sex before I tried it. But I never explored those sensations on my own.
Instead, I did it with my boyfriend because he really wanted me to.
And I regret doing it that way. Partly because I wasn’t fully ready yet - I pushed myself to be ready for him. But also because it complicated all my feelings about anal.
It could’ve been something I just fantasized about and got off with. Instead, it became something I felt unsure about - something that made me nervous instead of excited.
You deserve a better relationship to anal pleasure. It should be about enjoying your body, experiencing amazing sensations, and making your orgasms as intense as they can be. And it should be that way from your very first time.
You should get to have perfect anal - the kind that really gets you off. And the best way to experience that is by playing with your own asshole first.
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If you liked this post, you should totally check out the Plug That Butt (Anal Toys, Unicorn Tails, and Intimidating Machine Sex) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!
