7 Sex Toys You Shouldn't Bother Buying

They’re right for someone - but probably not for you

Reviewing sex toys is a really fun part of my job. But I always feel a little weird about doing it.

Not because I have to press toys against my clit or put them in my ass and then tell the world about it.

I’m used to that by now.

What makes it weird is the fact that I’m just one lady. I’m highly aware that my experience with a toy isn’t going to be universal.

Some of the toys I review are so fucking good that I’m sure almost everyone who tries it is going to have an incredible amount of fun with them.

In most cases, though, it’s a really individual thing.

I fucking love using arousal oils to get hella horny, but I know some people find them uncomfortable and don’t like the way they make their clits feel.

The Lovense Dolce is fun to play with but it’s way too strong to become part of my regular rotation. It could be the perfect remote controlled toy for someone who needs a lot of power to get off though.

Some people love warming vibrators, but I’m really indifferent to them. My favorite wand has that feature and I never bother turning it on.

Cock toys are the same.

I can’t imagine someone feeling the soft, squishy twist of a Tenga Spinner and not enjoying it. But whether someone gets off well with a vibrating stroker like the Lovense Gush is probably a more personal thing.

And the throbby, frenulum-focused orgasms you can get from the Arcwave Ion are so unique and unusual that my husband still isn’t really sure how he feels about that toy.

That’s why I don’t ever want to just give a thumbs up or a thumbs down to a sex toy. If it’s a well-designed toy, it’s going to be perfect for someone even if it’s not my new favorite.

I try to be a little more nuanced because I want to help people find a toy that’s right for them - not just try one that I happen to love.

That applies to everything on this list. None of these toys are bad - some of them are fucking great. And they might be exactly what you need to have stronger orgasms, better sex, and the kind of kinky play that really gets you off.

But chances are they’re not.

These are the toys I think most people shouldn’t bother with - and what they should try instead.

Luxury Sex Toys

I’m a big fan of Lelo toys. I’ve had some really good experiences with them.

But it’s a luxury brand and it comes with luxury prices.

Their Ora 3 is one of the first sex toys that kind of made it feel like my pussy was getting licked. It’s a pinpointed sensation that moves in circles, so it felt like a very precise and specific kind of licking - but licking nonetheless.

It’s a great experience, but it doesn’t come cheap. It can be a lot to drop on a toy that does something so specific - especially when you can use the Her Ultimate Pleasure to pump and lick your pussy.

The Soraya Wave is lots of fun too. It’s a rabbit vibrator with a moving tip that’s designed to tap your G-spot.

It’s highly pleasurable and I imagine it would make almost anyone come.

But you can get an amazing rabbit like the Snail Vibe for a lot less. It might not tap your G-spot, but it will still give you incredible blended orgasms.

And the Lelo Sila is my personal favorite clit sucking toy. In fact, it’s one of the toys I use the most lately. I seriously can’t get enough of it.

But even that one isn’t exactly essential. The Dame Aer is a really close second and a more affordable option. I don’t reach for it as often, but I doubt anyone would actually regret buying it over the Sila.

Basically, I think of Lelo toys as a way of pampering your pussy. If you want to make yourself feel really fancy while you’re masturbating, then go for it. It’s like designer bags but for jilling off.

And if it’s in your price range, I’m sure their line of ultra-expensive 24-karat gold vibrators, kegel balls, and prostate stimulators would make your self-love sessions feel luxurious as fuck. Though I doubt I’ll ever be able to give you a first-hand report on those.

If you’re not looking to get really fancy, though, you can get yourself off just as well with something more affordable.

Sex Machines

I’ve always been drawn to sex machines. They’re really fucking cool. Most of them are surprisingly versatile. And it’s basically the closest I’ll come to having a sex robot for a very long time.

But they’re mostly useful for two things.

Porn and power.

If you film a lot of solo porn, it can be really handy to have a machine that can turn a dildo into a substitute partner.

A machine can give you long thrusts or shallower ones. It can go slow or fuck you with incredible force. More importantly, it means you can film facefucking, hard anal, and double penetration scenes without enlisting anyone else’s help.

And best of all, most of them have a long enough thrusting arm so nothing’s going to block your shot.

Even if you don’t film porn, a sex machine can be completely worth it if you have the right kind of kink.

They’re big, strong, and have a very mechanical feel, which makes them seem so much more dominating. Getting tied up and fucked is exciting enough, but getting tied up and fucked by a machine will make you feel extra submissive.

There’s just something about letting someone machine fuck you that makes it feel like they have even more control over you.

And if your kinky play involves pushing limits, the fact that it can thrust with incredibly intimidating piston force is just one more selling point.

So yeah, what I’m saying is that I’m a big fan of sex machines.

But for most people, they’re a bit much.

Unless you want to feel like you’re completely under someone else’s control, there’s no need to use a machine instead of having them fuck you with a very good dildo.

And if you’re not interested in seeing how much your body can really take, then there’s a good chance you would never crank your fuckmachine’s dial past the lowest settings anyway.

Except for those very specific experiences, you can have just as much fun playing with a really good thruster.

It won’t push you to the extremes of penetration. It won’t make you feel like someone’s helpless fuckdoll. But it’s going to do a very nice job of thrusting into your pussy, ass, or mouth - depending on how you want to use it.

It will cost less than a sex machine does too. And it’s going to be much easier to set up and store.

Bondage Rope

After I got into BDSM, I went shopping.

One of the things I bought was 30 meters of bondage rope.

It’s red. It’s super cute. It feels nice and smooth.

And it just stays on my bondage wall with all my other kinky accessories.

Because it turns out that rope play just isn’t as convenient as I hoped it would be.

Tying someone up with ropes sounds simple enough. But doing it safely takes a bit of practice and skill. There’s a real learning curve.

And it takes patience. Even when you know what you’re doing, you still have to go through the process of creating elaborate ties on your partner’s body.

That can definitely be part of the fun. You slowly and lovingly bind a part of them while they enjoy the feeling of the rope sliding across their skin, wrapping around their body, and squeezing them tighter and tighter.

Riggers can get a lot of use out of good bondage rope. And rope bunnies won’t mind the time and care it takes to bind them just right.

For everyone else, though, it’s way more complicated than it has to be.

If you just want to get tied down and you don’t care about doing it in a fancy way, all you need is a decent set of restraints.

Cuffs are great for just about any kind of simple bondage play. The Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System is excellent for fully restraining your partner and leaving them squirming in one spot.

It’s much simpler, quicker, and way more convenient.

The Magic Wand

The Magic Wand has a lot of die-hard fans.

I learned that the hard way when I first wrote about not really enjoying it. For weeks, my notifications were blowing up with people trying to prove me wrong - as if they knew my pussy better than I did.

But I stand by that. I’m just not a big fan of it.

I understand why some people are. Not just because it’s an old school classic, but because it’s strong. That’s actually my big problem with it. It’s way too much for my sensitive clit. It was overstimulating instead of pleasurable.

And at the risk of getting another wave of upset emails and DMs, I’m going to say that it’s not a great choice for most women.

In part because it’s too strong. But also because of its design. It’s big. It’s bulky. It’s hard. There’s a cordless model now, but you’ll need to masturbate near an outlet if you want to get off with the classic Magic Wand.

I much prefer playing with wand vibrators that are more compact like the Pillow Talk Sultry. It’s easier to handle and ride. It’s got a few extra features that make it more versatile. And I know most people would enjoy holding its soft silicone body instead of the firm plastic on the Magic Wand’s body.

Even though I don’t like using the Magic Wand, I do love seeing it show up in BDSM porn. Because when the Magic Wand comes out, it usually means you’re about to see some orgasm torture.

You’ll probably see a girl get tied down nice and firmly with the Magic Wand pressed against her pussy. It might be held there by a dom or a domme, but more likely it’ll be pressed in place with rope, restraints, or her own underwear.

That’s when everything about the Magic Wand just works.

It’s so big and mechanical that it just looks powerful. And it’s so strong that you know it’s giving her as much as she can handle - maybe even more.

It’s seriously fucking hot.

And if you’re into that kind of orgasm torture, then by all means make the Magic Wand part of your sex toy collection.

Same if you love getting off with tons of power.

Otherwise, you should get yourself something much cuter.

Ball Gags

This is another BDSM accessory that feels like it could be part of your beginner bondage kit - but probably shouldn’t be.

It might not seem like an extreme bondage accessory - but it can feel like one.

Having your mouth gagged and held open doesn’t feel like a big deal at first but it can get uncomfortable very quickly.

Because it keeps you from speaking clearly or breathing super comfortably, it can also feel very distressing. If you’re not used to being gagged, you can feel upset or start to panic.

So unless getting gagged is a big part of your subby fantasies, it’s not one of the first things you should experiment with.

It’s also not a fool-proof bondage accessory. It might not look like a dangerous toy, but it can lead to suffocation or choking if it’s not used safely.

If you want to explore BDSM or you’re just getting into bondage, there are better ways to get started.

You really can’t go wrong with a blindfold and some simple restraints.

A tickler, paddle, or crop is really good too if you want to try some sensory or soft impact play.

Getting a beginner bondage kit is also a really fun way to try out the basics.

It’s more fun and lower risk. Save the gag for when you have a little more experience and know that you want your play to be a little more intense.

Full-Sized Sex Dolls

I’ve wanted a sex doll for the longest time. Still do, really.

But now that I’ve played with a couple of torso dolls, I’m not so sure I need a full-sized one.

Don’t get me wrong, I would absolutely love one. But I also know that it involves a lot of care.

Storing a full-sized doll can’t be easy. And cleaning a freshly fucked torso doll can be a bit of work, so I can imagine cleaning a full one is no picnic.

If you have full-blown doll fantasies, then getting one would totally be worth it. If you want to name your doll, dress it up, roleplay with it, then yeah get the artificial lady or fella of your dreams.

But if you just want to fuck it, you’ll probably have just as much fun with a torso doll.

Mine has basically everything I need to get my jollies off. She’s got a lovely fuckable pussy with a molded clit. She has a squeezable butt complete with an asshole I can finger at my leisure. She has tits I can grab and hips I can hold.

The fact that she has no head, arms, or legs would make it harder for me to immerse myself in a doll fantasy if I had one. But because I don’t really, it just makes her so much more convenient to move, flip over, store, and clean.

If you’re just in it for the fucking and you don’t mind that there’s no mouth to facefuck, a torso doll is a fine option and even a high-quality one won’t cost you nearly as much as a full doll would.

Fancy Sex Furniture

I love my Liberator Esse sex chair. Big time.

It’s a really comfortable place to sit. It’s got a permanent spot in my office for relaxing, lounging, or whatever.

But I love it the most when I’m fucking on it.

It’s the perfect sex surface.

It’s got a couple of moveable pieces so that you can configure it a bit. It has curved surfaces at different heights.

It’s a fantastic spot to get bent over and fucked on. It’s a great substitute for a spanking bench. It’s a super comfortable place to get my pussy eaten. If I want to, I can be at the perfect height to lie back, open my mouth, and enjoy a slow, gentle facefuck.

And lying on it is also where I get the deepest penetration - and I can absolutely feel the difference.

The Esse is so good that my bed stopped being my automatic default sex location as soon as I got it.

I give that one a big, solid recommendation. Ten out of ten, will fuck on it again - and again and again.

But I also know that having a fancy sex chair isn’t exactly do-able for every single couple.

Mostly, it’s a space thing. The Esse is surprisingly light and easy to move, but it’s not like you can just fold it and tuck it away. The base is one big solid piece and once it’s out of the vacuum-sealed bag and fully inflated, you need a permanent spot for it.

But you don’t actually need something as big as the Esse to have better sex.

The Liberator Wedge and Ramp combo was the first piece of sex furniture I tried and it made a huge difference.

Even that’s kind of big, though. So the right choice for most people is probably a simple wedge.

It’s not as versatile as using it with the Ramp. I never managed to get fucked as deep on the Wedge as I do on the Esse.

But it’s still going to help you have more comfortable sex, better fucking from behind, deeper penetration, and long-lasting pussy eating without anyone hurting their necks. That’s a major improvement - and you can get it from an accessory that’s small enough to hide away in your closet.

Build Your Perfect Toy Collection

If you already have a lot of experience with toys and accessories, then you probably know exactly what works for you.

You know what to look for when you’re shopping for a good clit sucker, a decent wand, or a rabbit vibrator with all your favorite features.

Same if you have some really strong kinks and sexual fantasies.

If you’re really attracted to the idea of playing with a life-sized fuckable doll, then a torso might not cut it. And if your favorite masturbation fantasies involve you being overpowered by a machine cocks, then a thruster might not be enough for you.

If you’re still exploring and experimenting, though, there are lots of great options that you’ll probably really enjoy playing with.

If you’re attracted to the idea of light bondage, then a restraint set is probably all you need.

If you just want to enjoy lots of pleasure and get yourself off, then a really good vibrator is all you need. Pampering your pussy with an expensive toy probably isn’t worth it.

Once you get a better sense of what you’re into, you can try out bigger, fancier, kinkier, more expensive stuff. They’re not the best way for most people to start their sex toy collection, but they might still end up being perfect for you.

This post contains affiliate links to all sorts of incredibly fun sex toys and accessories. If you click on one of them and treat yourself to anything from the site, I earn a small commission and you’ll be giving yourself lots more pleasure! Use the code LOVEEMMA at checkout to save 15% on your entire order from Betty’s Toy Box!

If you liked this article you should totally check the Rail Me on the Rails (Train Sex, the Thickest Dick, and Pulling Out Triumphantly) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!