How to Get Her to Watch Porn With You
Smut doesn’t have to be a solo activity
I’ve been watching porn with my husband pretty much from day one.
I moved in with him quickly. Then we spent most of our time doing two things - fucking and watching movies.
That’s just what you do when you’re horny and inseparable. And when the horniness hit a little harder than usual, we’d watch something with hardcore sex.
I didn’t think much about it. It wasn’t a big conversation or anything like that. We both watched our fair share of porn - he had a box full of smutty DVDs and I knew my way around adult torrent sites. So, it felt like a natural thing to do.
It was just one more hobby we could share together.
I’ve mentioned that in some of my articles and on my podcast. Usually in passing, but it catches people’s attention every time.
Turns out watching porn with a partner is a big fantasy for a lot of guys.
Some of them want to see if it would get them laid more - a little smut to warm up their partner’s sex drive.
Or they really get off on the idea of masturbating with their partner, and watching porn with them seems like the best way to ease into that.
A lot of them just think it’s a really hot idea or want to find new ways to connect sexually.
All good, except for one thing - they can’t seem to make it happen.
And yeah, it’s not always possible. Some women have zero interest in watching porn and it’s as simple as that. If you’re shacked up with someone who just isn’t into it, it’s going to stay a solo activity.
There are plenty of women who also prefer keeping their porn habits to themselves. They’re into it, they like watching it, but they’d rather do it in complete and total privacy. If that’s your partner, you’re going to have to keep enjoying it separately - even if you share memberships to porn sites.
But in a lot of cases, it’s not that she’s completely closed off to the idea of watching porn with you. You just need to present it to her in a way that makes it seem appealing.
This is the right approach. If she’s open to it, these steps will help you get the porn party started.
Start an Open Conversation About It
This is obviously a really important step, but a lot of guys skip right over it.
I’ve heard from countless men who tell me their wives or girlfriends won’t watch porn with them. But also that they’ve never actually asked her about it.
At best, they’ve implied that they might be interested in that kind of thing. They’ve insinuated it as gently as can be. But they never proposed it outright.
Plenty of guys also assume that she wouldn’t be into it. Usually, the evidence is pretty thin.
She’s not a super horny person. She’s never mentioned watching porn. She just doesn’t seem the type.
But none of those things mean anything. Lots of women with low sex drives dip into porn occasionally. Plenty of them will be completely private about their porn use - even with their husbands. And there’s definitely no type - all sorts of people enjoy watching people fuck.
And you won’t know if she’s one of them unless you ask her.
Another problem is that most people are uncomfortable talking openly about porn - including the guys who want to jerk off to it with their partners. So instead of having a candid, open-ended conversation about it, they ask sheepishly and then drop the conversation almost immediately.
Instead of doing that, work up the courage to start a proper conversation.
Ask her how she feels about porn. Let her know you watch it and you’re curious about whether she does too. Tell her you’d love to watch some with her and ask if she’d ever be open to that.
Keep it casual. Let the conversation go wherever it goes. If she’s down for it, you’ll find out. If she’s not, you’ll learn more about each other - and that’s just plain good for your relationship.
Tell Her Why You Want to Do It
Another common problem is that guys will make the question all about her.
They’ll ask her if she wants to do it. If she’d ever be open to it. If there’s anything that could get her to agree to it. If she ever watches it on her own.
Basically, putting her on the spot. Which is not a comfortable place for anyone to be.
And the best way to avoid that is by opening up to her.
Instead of just asking her a bunch of questions, give her a good sense of why you’re bringing it up.
Don’t just ask her if she’d be willing to watch porn with you. Tell her why you want to do it.
Is it just a way to spice things up?
Do you get really turned on by the idea of her watching you get horny and jerking off?
Are you hoping to add mutual masturbation to your sex life so you can have some sexual intimacy even when she’s not down for full-blown fucking?
Is it a way to get her turned on so you can hopefully have sex more often?
Do you have a burning curiosity about the kind of filth she watches and how she touches herself when she does?
Telling her exactly why you’re interested in watching porn with her is going to make it easier for her to figure out how she feels about it. And she’s more likely to get excited about it if she knows why the idea appeals to you.
Kill All the Sexpectations
Sometimes, it’s not the porn itself that women say no to. It’s all the sexual expectations that come with the porn.
That’s especially true when a guy suggests it as a way to pump up her low sex drive. That can feel more like pressure than a fun activity.
So, get rid of all the sexpectations and take all that pressure away.
Make it clear that she’s got a say in how everything goes. Even if you’re suggesting it as a libido booster, be explicit that it’s no big deal if it doesn’t actually lead to anything sexual.
Basically, she has her own personal comfort zone and she doesn’t want to feel pushed out of it.
She might be happy to watch some smut and masturbate with you but doesn’t necessarily want to turn it into sex.
Maybe she’s open to watching it as pure entertainment. She thinks it would be fun to watch it with you, laugh about it, comment on it - but cuddling is as physical as she wants to get.
Or she has no idea where she wants it to go. She’s just down for you putting it on and then she’ll see if she wants to just watch, touch herself, watch you stroke off, or use it as foreplay for a full blown fuck session.
If she knows you’re not expecting to get more out of it than she’s willing to give, she’s way more likely to say yes.
And not putting all your hopes on one outcome is going to be more fun for you anyway. Instead of being disappointed that you didn’t get to go balls deep inside her, you can just appreciate some properly filthy entertainment with your sweetheart.
Find Out What Kind of Porn She’s Into
If you want the porn watch to be more than just a one-off experiment, you’ll have to watch something you can both enjoy.
A lot of guys mess this up because they make too many assumptions about what their partner would be into.
They figure women like straightforward vanilla sex. Maybe something really sensual. A romantic storyline never hurts either.
And yeah, some women fit that profile.
But I doubt that most do.
Plenty of women love watching a really rough fuck and your lady might be one of them - even if she doesn’t enjoy being roughed up in bed.
She might find sensual and romantic porn kind of boring - she’d rather watch dark storylines with lots of tension and dubious consent.
Or she doesn’t really care about the storyline or the setup - she just wants the sex to feel playful.
Maybe she’s only interested if the scene has a hot guy who spends lots of time on camera and fucks very vocally.
Her porn history could exclusively be girl-on-girl scenes. It might all be videos featuring bisexual guys.
She might love watching size queen scenes where short women struggle to take thick cocks. Or anything where a girl is taking more cocks than she can count. Or she doesn’t really mind what she’s watching as long as it has lots of assplay.
Maybe all your assumptions about her porn preferences are right. But you won’t know that unless you ask her what kind of videos she’d be really into.
Avoid All Her Turn Offs
Finding porn that turns her on is good. But it’s even more important to find some that doesn’t actively turn her off.
Nothing’s going to ruin her partnered porn experience like a scene that gives her the ick, creeps her out, or just doesn’t do anything for her.
Turn offs are really individual.
I personally can’t enjoy the sound of anyone gagging or choking - and that doesn’t change just because it’s a cute girl throating a dick. I mean, it definitely helps. But it still rubs me the wrong way.
Quiet sex doesn’t make me uncomfortable the way gagging does, but it doesn’t do much to turn me on either.
And your partner’s going to have her own list of things that she really can’t enjoy in porn.
Family roleplay scenes might rub her the wrong way. Seeing girls get degraded or roughed up might be upsetting to her. Girl on girl porn might not do anything for her.
Whatever it is that turns her off, make sure the porn you pick doesn’t have it.
Pick Your Porn Ahead of Time
Watching porn together can be really fun and exciting.
Looking for porn, not so much.
Trying to find porn at the last minute can ruin your evening. Just scrolling through Pornhub with her and hoping you’ll see something you can both enjoy probably won’t get you anywhere.
And the longer you spend looking, the more likely you’ll both end up feeling bored instead of excited by the time you actually start watching.
So, make sure you pick something ahead of time.
Find something that looks good. Check it out quickly so you can make sure it’s decent and doesn’t have anything that turns her off.
Run it by her. Send her the link. See what she thinks.
Or send options back and forth until you both settle on one.
If you can find something that intrigues her, she won’t just agree to watch it with you - she’ll look forward to it.
And it’s way easier when you know what kind of porn she’s into. Then you can just get a membership to a site she likes, which makes picking a good scene so much easier. And you get to watch full studio scenes instead of the clips posted on tube sites.
Good Wholesome Porny Fun
I’m really happy I have someone I can watch porn with.
It’s not essential or anything like that. You can have a happy relationship even if you never watch anything past an R rating. But it’s really fun. It’s something we get to share together. It gives us something to do when we run out of things to watch on Netflix. And it can be really good foreplay.
So yeah, I get why so many guys are into the idea.
And you’ll have a much better chance of making it happen if you’ve got the right approach. Start by opening up the conversation and get rid of the sexpectations. If you’re lucky, you’ll be picking porn scenes in no time.
This post contains affiliate links to a few different Adult Time studios. If you click on one and treat yourself to a membership, I earn a small commission and you’ll be enjoying lots of porn that’s perfect for couples! And be sure to use the code LOVEEMMA when you sign up to get an even better deal!
If you liked this article, you should totally check out the Opening Our Spank Banks (Our Hottest Sex Memories) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!
