Why Men Should Read Erotica
One easy trick for becoming the stud of her dreams
You’ve probably heard that men watch porn and women read erotica.
That’s not quite accurate. Everyone watches porn.
But there’s a pretty big kernel of truth in there. Because women definitely read a lot more smut than men do.
Years ago, I bought myself an ereader - and it wasn’t to brush up on the classics.
I wanted to read dirty novels that would make my pulse race, but I wanted to keep it on the down low. I didn’t have the guts to walk around with a paperback that had tight abs on the cover or a title like Desperate Babysitters.
Mr. Austin never bothered getting one, though. He didn’t even ask to borrow mine.
He was hornier than me and read more than I did. But he stuck to books he could read openly on the bus.
And he’s definitely not the only horny guy who spends his time reading Dickens instead of reading about a good dickin’.
Which is a real missed opportunity. Because erotica could teach most guys a few things that would make them way better in bed.
And yes, a lot of it is written by women and for women - that’s why there are shirtless hunks on most of the covers. But that’s precisely why reading it can make you a real stud in the sack.
If you really want to blow your lady’s mind and rock her world, reading those dirty novels is definitely going to help. Here’s why.
You’ll See Through the Female Gaze
A lot of guys really struggle to make themselves more appealing to women.
It’s not because they’re not trying - it’s because they’re not really sure how they should be doing it.
Most straight dudes just don’t understand what makes a guy attractive. And the ones who think they do usually get it kind of wrong.
I think it’s because they think of the qualities they admire in other guys - or the qualities they wish they had. But those don’t always overlap with the things that make women bite their lips.
Like forearms.
Guys really don’t understand how incredibly appealing forearms can be. And that’s not just a weird kink I have. Any lady reading this is probably nodding right now, because there are ways men display their forearms that are almost universally considered hot.
Same with hands.
A guy who’s good with his hands is instantly hotter. And doing something that shows off how skilled or strong your hands are is enough to turn up the temperature.
That’s why so many women thirst after guys who chop wood or play an instrument. Seeing a guy use his hands like that is basically the equivalent of getting a peek up a girl’s miniskirt when she’s reaching for something on a high shelf.
If you read erotica, you’ll start noticing it all over the place. There’s going to be a big emphasis on guys who roll up their sleeves. There will be women staring deeply at the way a guy’s hands and fingers move.
And once you start picking up on what women tend to look at, you can use that information to make yourself even more attractive.
You’ll Learn the Small Details That Make a Big Difference
The men in erotic novels smirk a lot.
That’s not because the writers were running out ways to describe a smile - it’s very deliberate.
Because a smirk isn’t just a polite non-verbal response. It’s not laughing out loud at something, either.
It’s a more subtle reaction that shows he appreciates what some lady just said or did. It’s him registering that she said something clever, that she did something adorable, or that she managed to impress him.
That’s why erotica studs smirk - because that’s the exact response a lady wants to get out of a guy.
A smirk is a sign that she’s having an effect on him. It makes her feel noticed. It shows that he’s paying attention to her and likes what she’s bringing.
And that’s incredibly exciting. It’s part of what makes good flirting feel like such a rush.
It’s a little detail that a lot of guys wouldn’t notice - but that most women wouldn’t miss.
Same with the doorframe trick.
That’s a simple move where you meet with your lady under a doorframe, then you place your hand against it and lean into her.
I know it doesn’t sound like much, but it can make a girl melt into a puddle of flustered horniness.
Erotic novels are basically compilations of things like that - the small details that make a lady wish she was getting undressed and manhandled. And that’s really helpful information if you want to be the one doing the manhandling.
You’ll Find Out How She Really Wants to Get Fucked
When I was still living with my parents, I could only get my hands on one single erotic novel.
It was my mom’s and she had tried her best to hide it, but I was nosy enough to find it anyway. And because I was better at hiding things than her, she never found it again so it was mine from that point on.
I dog eared that book practically to shreds. And there were a few very spicy chapters that I kept coming back to, over and over.
The one I couldn’t stop reading involved some light rope bondage and a dildo. There was just something so incredibly arousing about the idea of someone pleasuring their partner with a sex toy.
Not because it sounded more pleasurable than the other pages full of penetration. It’s because there was something kind of kinky about it - in a very vanilla kind of way.
But that kind of thing is surprisingly rare in porn.
There’s light bondage here and there, but it’s not big the way it is in dirty books.
You might see women getting themselves off with toys. You might see girls fuck each other with dildos and strap-ons. But you won’t come across that many videos of guys teasing and pleasuring a lady with vibrators, dildos, buttplugs, and fuck machines.
So you might not realize that using toys on your partner is that big of a deal - but it is. It’s a major turn on and a big part of a lot of women’s fantasies.
But it’s one that you’re going to miss if you spend all your time watching smut instead of reading it.
You’ll Improve Your Dirty Talk
There’s a reason a lot of women keep reading erotica even when they could be watching porn.
No, it’s not just because of the storylines.
It’s because of the dirty talk.
That’s one thing that makes erotica so damn appealing. It’s all words and no visuals, so you’re going to get plenty of flirty and steamy dialogue.
It’s full of banter leading up to flirting. Flirty exchanges leading up to sex. And filthy phrases while they’re fucking.
Which is really handy if you want to work on your dirty talk.
And you probably should, because it’s one of the biggest turn ons for most ladies - even more than rolled up shirt sleeves.
Like, good dirty talk can legitimately make the dick better. It’s that important.
A lot of guys have a tough time with it, though. They either go too far and make it too nasty or degrading. Or they don’t go far enough and it all sounds a bit too tame and timid.
And sure, you can find porn with really good dirty talk. It’s out there and it’s hot as hell. But you’re just as likely to find videos that are either too quiet or a bit too extreme.
The balance is way better in erotica. Most of the time, it’s the right mix of dirty, sweet, confident, and attentive.
It’s also what they do best. And if you’re going to learn, you might as well learn from the pros.
You’ll Never Run Out of Moves
One of the tough things about a long-term relationship is that you can’t keep things hot unless you keep them fresh.
You’ve got to be reliable in the sack. Your lady has to know that if she lets you slip your hand up her skirt, it’s going to really be worth her while.
But you can’t be too predictable. Otherwise, the thought of your hand going up her skirt loses its sparkle.
Basically, she doesn’t want to know exactly where you’re going when you put the moves on her. She just wants to know it’ll be somewhere good.
Which means you’ve got to keep coming up with new ways to tease her, pleasure her, and get her off.
This is a complete guess, but I’m going to say most guys have about eight sex moves in total. I just made that number up - it feels right, though. And that’s not nearly enough. It won’t take long before she sees all eight of your moves coming a mile away.
That’s another thing that makes erotica so damn handy. It’s inspo for spicing things up and keeping her on her toes.
If you read it once in a while, you’ll keep adding new tricks up your sleeve - tricks she hasn’t seen yet.
Become a Fantasy Stud
You can learn some great moves from good porn.
And if you watch the right stuff, you can get a better handle on what will have a lady fanning herself - and then jilling off furiously.
But erotica is basically a manual for what most women find incredibly sexy and arousing.
It won’t give you a step by step breakdown on how to turn her on or get her off. But it will give you plenty of hints that you should absolutely follow.
Don’t give up on porn - it’s a healthy passtime. Don’t stop communicating and talking about sex - that’s essential. But if you really want to wow your girl, it helps to get a peek at what her fantasies might look like - and try to be a tiny bit more like them.
So if you still don’t have an ereader, it might be time to get one.
This post contains affiliate links to some dirty books and fun sex toys. If you click on one and treat yourself to anything from the site, I earn a small commission and you’ll be ready to blow her mind! And be sure to use the code LOVEEMMA at checkout to save 15% on your entire order from Betty’s Toy Box!
If you liked this article, you should totally check out the How to Shoot Ropes (Big Loads, Big Supplements, and Big Simping) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!
