A Woman’s Body Count Really Doesn’t Matter
Lots of men seem to care, but that’s just plain silly
I don’t think about my body count all that much.
It’s not super low. It’s not that high, either. No one would bat an eyelash if they heard it.
I’m just a girl who got a little bit of experience under her belt before settling down. And then got a teensy bit more after that.
I know the number. Or at least, I would if I sat down and added everyone up.
I just don’t really care enough to do that.
Because my number or anyone else’s doesn’t really make much of a difference to me.
I know that some people do care, though. And they care a lot.
Even in this day and age, I keep seeing men who try to shame women for having a high number. Or reading about guys who are extremely hung up on how many people their current or future partner has fucked.
And that’s kind of mind boggling to me.
Because sure, I love hearing about women’s sexual experiences. I want to know about all their sexcapades - in detail.
I’ve got a bit of a soft spot for girls who kiss and tell. And an even softer one for people who kiss and show.
But a lady’s body count - that’s just a number. And not to offend any of the math nerds reading this, but numbers are boring.
So making a big deal out of it is just plain silly if you ask me.
Why Men Say They Care
I’ve pretty much always known that men care way too much about a woman’s body count. But a few years ago, I decided to see if I could figure out why.
I ended up finding some answers on Reddit, because that’s where the guys were at their most honest and anonymous.
I sifted through a bunch of comments to find as many arguments as I could. All of them fit into four different categories - and none were terribly convincing.
A High Body Count Means She’s Not Serious About a Relationship
This is basically the idea that there are girls who sleep around and there are girls who are wife material - and never the twain shall meet.
But the twain does in fact meet. Really often, too.
In fact, some girls rack up a pretty high body count because they’re looking to get wifed down. Sometimes a gal has to look for love in all the wrong places before she finally finds her soulmate.
Other girls are just having a bit of fun until they get that promise ring, and there’s no harm in that. They’re single or dating, and there’s no reason they should be doing that with a chastity belt.
Then there are the horny ladies who just really love sex. They’ve got urges and they’ll find ways to satisfy them. And when they really fall for someone, they’ll direct all that sexual energy into their relationship.
That doesn’t make anyone an overfucked spinster. That makes her a keeper.
She’s More Likely to Cheat
Women cheat for all sorts of reasons. But I doubt her sexual history is high on that list.
She might stray if there’s something missing in the relationship. She feels invisible, the intimacy’s died down, and the passion’s gone - so she tries to get it elsewhere.
It could happen because she doesn’t feel attractive and desirable anymore - except when she’s flirting with someone else.
Or if Jeremy Allen White makes a pass at her. You can’t expect her to turn that down - she’s only human.
But a high body count doesn’t make her any more likely to look for action on the side.
If anything, I’d be more worried about a lady with a low body count. Because a girl who feels like she settled down too quickly and missed out on her fun years might just be tempted to see if the dick is greener on the other side.
She Doesn’t Have Enough Self-Control
Okay, I actually wish this one was true.
But that’s only because I find it really hot. The idea of a girl losing control and getting fucked as a result really turns me on.
Sadly, I don’t think that’s usually how it happens.
A girl with a few notches on her bedpost probably didn’t get there because she just couldn’t help herself. Like she really didn’t want to blowbang all her guy friends, but the temptation was just too strong.
It’s actually way simpler than that. A lot of girls with a high body count got there because they made the deliberate decision to have sex as often as they pleased.
Which is what bothers some of these guys, I think. It seems like they really believe that a girl should be saying no to sex she wants to have.
And I really can’t figure out why.
She wanted to have sex, so she had sex. That’s not a bad thing - that’s how it should work.
There are too many people depriving themselves of harmless fun as it is. There’s no reason to get weird about the ladies who don’t.
Also, I can’t help but feel like poor self-control is a strange reason to discount someone as relationship material. Sure, she might hit the Oreos a little too hard. But if she’s sweet and cute, that doesn’t seem like a dealbreaker to me.
She Makes Bad Decisions
This one only makes sense if you think having sex is a bad decision.
Or at the very least, that it’s never a good idea to have a casual fling. That fucking just because it’s fun and exciting is a big no-no.
And maybe I didn’t drink enough of the Sunday School Kool Aid, but I just can’t see it that way.
Plus, I’ve had a one night stand that ended up being one of the best experiences I’ve ever had. Saying no to letting that semi-stranger in my pants would’ve been a major regret and I’m thankful I went through with it.
And sure, some girls get a high number doing things they regret. But others will rack up body counts like Rambo because they had lots of great sexual opportunities and they took them.
Besides, even if this was true I really don’t see why it should matter. If anything, it’s an opportunity to be her white knight. You can romance her, settle down with her, and she’ll be grateful that all those bad sexual decisions are behind her.
Why Men Really Care
I’ve looked for a reasonable explanation for why guys don’t want to be with a girl who has a high body count. But none of the ones I found really hold water.
And I think it’s because they’re rationales, not reasons.
They’re the explanations guys give because they think it sounds better than the truth - or they don’t know the truth.
Because there’s really only one plausible explanation for why anyone would be so concerned with the number of guys a girl has fucked. It only makes sense if they’re insecure about themselves.
Well okay, I guess it could also just be that they have some really messed up ideas about women and sex. We’ve all grown up in a highly sex negative culture, so it wouldn’t be surprising if a lot of us end up being uncomfortable with women who like to have a good time once in a while.
But I think for the most part, it’s just that some guys can’t handle the thought that they’re not the best she’s ever had.
Deep down, they know that if she fucked a lot of guys there’s a good chance at least one or two fucked her better.
The odds that she’s been banged by a bigger dick go up with every guy she’s been under.
So does the likelihood that some of them were super fucking hot. Or suave as can be. Or so charming they could turn her on just by looking at her the right way.
Which is all good, honestly. Every girl deserves to get her world rocked at least a few times.
But I know that a lot of guys just can’t stand the idea that their partner has had those kinds of experiences. They’re fine knowing she’s been fucked silly or gotten so horny she did things she can’t think about without blushing - as long as it’s with them and them only.
And no, they might not actually say any of that. They might not demand proof that she’s never been with anyone who’s super hung or could make her come without even touching her pussy.
But it will usually come out in some other ways.
Like passive aggressive comments about her sexual past. Getting mopey if she says anything nice about an ex. Checking out emotionally after she makes a joke about an old fuckbuddy.
Or by insisting that there’s something unappealing about a woman who managed to fuck her way into the double digits.
It Really Isn’t a Big Deal - Unless You Make It One
It honestly doesn’t matter if she’s fucked two people or two hundred.
Either way, she could still be a great gal who is totally worth pursuing. She could be really playful and generous in bed. She could be madly in love and deeply devoted to you.
She might’ve had great sex with other people before you came along. But that’s good and you should be happy she had the kind of hanky panky she can look back on fondly.
If you feel weird about it, that’s honestly fine. It’s typical, and we all have our own sexual baggage we’re working on. That just happens to be part of yours.
And working on it is exactly what you should be doing. Instead of worrying about your lady’s body count, get to a place where you can be secure enough that it doesn’t even bother you.
That’s going to make your relationship stronger. It’s going to make you feel better about yourself. And it’s a lot less stressful than crossing your fingers and hoping you’re the only decent dick she’s ever had.
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If you liked this article, you should totally check out the How to Actually Flirt With Your Wife (And Get Laid) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!
