5 Dirty Talk Mistakes That Will Totally Turn Her Off
Don’t hit the brakes on her horniness
I need dirty talk the way I need air.
No, really.
It’s not just a fun little extra. It’s not something titillating I like to hear once in a while. It’s not a naughty treat.
It’s one of the few things that actually gets me in the mood.
I can barely get turned on unless I hear something flirty and filthy.
And yeah, I could have some pretty good sex without hearing any of it. But that’s all it’s ever going to be - good, never great.
Dirty talk is just so fucking arousing.
It’s incredibly enthusiastic. It brings out your sexual chemistry. It makes sex about so much more than just rubbing your bits together.
I can never get enough of it.
Unless it’s bad dirty talk.
If the dirty talk’s no good, I’d rather get fucked to the sound of heavy breathing - and maybe a few mellow Taylor Swift songs.
Because bad dirty talk isn’t just boring. It’s an actual turn off. And it can kill even the stiffest lady boner.
Thankfully, it’s really easy to get it right. Mostly, you just have to avoid these common mistakes.
Cleaning Up Your Language
Dirty talk can feel really intimidating if you don’t actually like saying anything vulgar.
And trying too hard to avoid all the naughty words can really mess things up.
You could use clinical words, but that’s going to suck the sexiness right out of your dirty talk. Talking about your penis instead of your cock isn’t all that hot. Same with mentioning her vagina instead of her pussy - especially if you’re actually referring to her clit.
Euphemisms are pretty bad too.
Asking her how it feels to have your manhood inside her is going to take her out of the moment. Same if you tell her you’re going to eat her cupcake.
And there’s really no excuse for saying you want to “make love” to her. That’s just awkward.
There’s a much better way around all the filthy language. Don’t try to replace the words you’re not comfortable using. Avoid them completely instead. Keep your dirty talk on the clean side.
Say things like “you look incredible” when you take off her shirt and admire her body. Tell her “it’s so hot when you do that” when she looks up at you during a blowjob. You can even throw in some classic commands like “get on your knees” or “look at me while I’m touching you.”
It’s not vulgar at all, but it still does the job. And it’s way better than sounding like you just stepped out of a corny romance novel.
Baby Talk
It’s weirdly common for guys to baby talk during sex. And I have no idea how it caught on because it’s a major turn-off for most women.
Maybe it’s because there are plenty of ladies who can really pull it off.
They make themselves sound playfully innocent. They act as sweet as can be while saying the nastiest stuff you’ve ever heard. They use it to bring out their submissive side.
It can be incredibly hot.
And maybe that’s why guys think they should do it, too. But no, it just doesn’t translate.
Even words that would normally make her melt are going to make her cringe if you’re cooing them at her.
There’s only one exception I can think of. If you’re fucking a mommy domme who happens to be into ageplay, then yeah. Go for it. Be a good boy and pull out that baby talk for her.
In every other situation, stick to your grownup vocabulary and use your big boy voice when you’re fucking or trying to get in her pants.
Talking Too Low
Some guys turn the volume down when they’re saying something filthy. They give dirty whispers instead of dirty talk.
And that’s fine, as long as your mouth is close to her ear. Otherwise, you’re probably speaking way too low.
If she can’t make out what you’re saying, the dirty talk isn’t going to do much for her. The actual words you’re using matter - she needs to hear them to get the full effect.
And if she has to strain to hear what you’re saying, that’s more frustrating than arousing.
Plus, dirty talk is hot because it’s so damn confident. But if you say everything in a low voice, it comes across as timid instead. So don’t mumble the naughty words, don’t whisper your filthy phrases - say them like you mean them.
Being Too Degrading
There are different kinds of dirty talk.
There’s the sweet and flirty stuff that everyone loves to hear. Telling her that her ass looks amazing, that you love the way her pussy tastes - that sort of thing.
There’s the more commanding, gently dominant stuff that really excites a lot of ladies. Like “bend over” or “touch your pussy for me.”
And then there’s playful degradation. That’s the kind of dirty talk where you’ll call your partner a desperate little whore, tell her you’re going to use her like a fucktoy, and ask her if she likes being your dirty little slut.
Which can be totally fine. There are plenty of women who get really turned on by that kind of dirty talk.
But it’s the kind of thing you should have a conversation about first. You’ve gotta get consent from your partner before calling her names - even if you’re trying to do it in a sexy way. Because for some people, that kind of degradation isn’t fun and playful - it’s just plain insulting. It rubs them the wrong way and can be downright upsetting.
The problem is that some guys will jump right into the degradation, without checking if their partner’s into it first. They’re getting frisky, he calls her a dirty slut, and now her whole night’s ruined.
Don’t be that guy.
Don’t say anything degrading unless she gave you permission to do it.
And if you’re not sure what she wants to hear, stick to the gentle stuff. Compliment her body. Praise her for the way she strokes, sucks, and rides your cock. Tell her how exactly how you want and what you want to do to her.
That’s a safe bet, no matter what she’s into.
Being Pushy
Okay, so there’s a kind of dirty talk where you command your partner to do things. Or at the very least, you strongly suggest she does them.
You tell her to bend over before taking her from behind.
You tell her to spread her legs before going down on her.
You tell her to take her clothes off for you - slowly, so you can admire her body.
It’s dominant and confident. It shows enthusiasm. It makes her feel desired. It’s playful and arousing.
But only if you’re telling her to do things she already wants to do.
If you’re using that kind of dirty talk as an opportunity to get her to do things she’s not really into, that’s a major turn off.
Like telling her to get on her knees and suck your cock when you know she’s not really in the mood for it.
Or telling her to spread her ass when you know that makes her uncomfortable.
Or asking her to say something nasty that’s way out of her comfort zone.
That’s not being dominant - it’s just being pushy. It’s not taking her boundaries seriously. And it’s going to ruin her mood - every single time.
Dirty Talk Is Easy
Good dirty talk is really simple.
If you’re saying flirty things about whatever’s happening in the moment and you’re saying it with confidence, then you’re doing it right.
That’s it. That’s all it takes.
No reason to coo like a baby or call her a dirty whore - not unless that happens to fit with her kinks.
Just compliment her body, tell her how good it feels to fuck her, and have fun making her extra horny.
If you want some great examples of dirty talk, check out the hot smut on Adult Time! That’s an affiliate link, by the way. If you click on it and treat yourself to a membership, I earn a small commission and you’ll be enjoying the best porn you can find online! And be sure to use the code LOVEEMMA when you sign up to get an even better deal on your membership!
If you liked this article, you should totally check out the Do You Kiss Your Mother With That Mouth? (How to Talk Dirty) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!
