9 Great Things You Get Out of Sex (Other Than Pleasure and Orgasms)
This is what makes sex so amazing
A lot of talk about sex focuses on pleasure and orgasms.
For good reasons, obviously. That’s a huge part of the enjoyment.
But there’s way more to it than that.
There has to be, because most of us don’t have any problem giving ourselves sexual pleasure. We can make ourselves come pretty easily too.
If that’s all we got from sex, I don’t know that we’d bother with it. We’d just buy strokers, thrusters, torso dolls, and clit suckers instead. It’d be way less trouble and the orgasms would be way more consistent.
But that’s not what we do. No matter how good our masturbation sessions are, most of us still want to fuck. And that’s because there are so many other things we get out of sex.
Those things can get sidelined, though. People often talk about them like they’re fun little extras.
But they’re not. They’re a big part of what makes sex really fucking good to begin with. Sometimes, they’re even more appealing than the physical pleasure you get from fucking.
They’re not the same for everyone. We all get something a little different out of sex. These are the biggest ones for me.
A Stronger Emotional Bond
As a demisexual gal, sexual desire and emotional connection are really closely tied together for me.
I can’t quite get it up for someone unless I feel a really strong emotional bond with them. And one of the things I love the most about sex is the way it makes that bond feel so much more intense.
I guess it’s because of the built-in emotional intensity that comes with sex. Someone else is making you feel extremely vulnerable. You’re putting a deep level of trust in them. They’re helping you hit some emotional peaks you can’t normally experience.
You’re bound to come out the other side feeling like you’ve just been fused together.
Plus, depending on how you fuck there might also be an incredible amount of affection.
There could also be a lot of care and nurturing. That’s something I’ve really discovered since I started leaning into my daddy-loving kink.
Even if you have rough, filthy, nasty sex, it often works on that level. Getting really dirty with someone can help you feel the deep chemistry you have with them, and that can really pull you together.
You don’t actually need to have sex to have a good relationship. But a lot of people feel their relationship is stronger when they’re having more sex. And it’s probably got a lot to do with this.
An Extremely Satisfying Physical Release
Sometimes, sex is like a good cry.
You know when you feel kind of sad and you’re just carrying that blue feeling around with you? It doesn’t matter how much you distract yourself, try to power through it, or do things that would normally cheer you up - it just stays there.
Until you cry it out.
Once you bawl your little eyes out, you start to get better. You can finally start to move on.
Sex works the same way, except for other emotions.
For me, it’s stress and being emotionally overwhelmed. When I have too much of those, it stays with me. I feel like I’ve got a lot of physical tension that I can’t get rid of.
I’m sure there are other ways to handle those things, but screwing really is the best way.
When I’m not too tense, a little bit of jilling off will take care of it. A pussy massage can work wonders too.
But when it gets really bad, I need more. Sometimes, I just need the tension fucked right out of me.
Experimentation and Exploration
Pleasure gets a lot of the attention when people talk about sex. But the best sex isn’t just pleasurable - it’s exciting.
When I get the urge to fuck, it’s often because of that.
I don’t want routine sex that’s going to hit all the right buttons. I don’t want predictable sex that gives me double-digit orgasms.
What I want is the thrill that comes with trying something new, doing something a little unexpected, or just playing around.
When I first got into BDSM, I felt like my whole world had just opened up. I had just gotten a taste of this brand new way to have sex and I couldn’t wait to do it more.
I was initiating sex left and right. I don’t even think I was horny half the time - I just wanted to get tied down again. I wanted to keep exploring all these new things and the incredible emotions that came with them.
It happened when my husband got the hang of talking dirty too. I’d get really excited to fuck him because I couldn’t wait to hear all that filthy daddy dom talk again.
And sometimes you just get an idea stuck in your head. You’ve been fantasizing about something or there’s something you want to try and you just can’t wait to make it happen.
That happened to me with that facefucking move where you lie with your head hanging off the bed, relax your throat, and see how far you can take a cock in it.
Well, turns out I can’t take it very far at all. But I had decided that I wanted to try it and I was eager to have sex again so I could see how it would go.
It didn’t go great, sure. But it didn’t matter. Even though I had to go back to my usual facefucking technique, the fact that we were doing something a little different made sex extra exciting.
Some Pretty Decent Cardio
I don’t just have a low sex drive. I also have a pretty low workout drive.
I exercise pretty regularly, but I can’t say that I really enjoy it.
I like the way it makes me feel after it’s over. I want to keep up my healthy habits. But it just feels like a chore - even when I’m watching porn or scrolling through TikTok while pedalling on my FitDesk.
Sex is a lot more appealing. I don’t know that it’s as intense as burning steady calories for an hour, but it makes me sweat, gets my heart pumping fast, and works a lot of my muscles.
And riding my husband is a hell of a lot more enjoyable than pushing myself through an exercise routine.
Technically, I could do this on my own. I could ride my torso doll’s cock until my legs are sore. I could get in all sorts of positions and dildo-fuck myself until I can’t take it anymore. I could use a thruster to simulate some of the things I’d do with a partner.
But let’s not kid ourselves here. I would have lots and lots of fun doing those things, but I wouldn’t go as hard as I do when I’m actually having sex.
Even when I try to go all out with my masturbation, use multiple toys, and try different techniques, I’m still doing it on easy mode. I’m not going to work up an extra sweat if I don’t have to.
It’s different with sex.
I go longer because I want to give a more impressive performance. I’ll spend more time on top because it’s fun and it’s super encouraging to feel Mr. Austin spanking my ass while I ride him. I get so lost in it that I even lose track of time.
It works. And it’s the best excuse to skip the FitDesk.
A Hormonal Boost
Okay, so there are a lot of hormones that get released during sex. Dopamine. Serotonin. Oxytocin. Just one big feel-good cocktail of brain chemicals.
That’s old news. Pretty much everyone knows that by now.
But for some of us, it’s a really big deal.
Everyone enjoys getting a shot of hormones, and it’s a nice little perk to have alongside some pussy pleasure and full-body orgasms.
When you’re hormonally dysregulated, though, it can be one of the few things that makes you feel like your brain’s been properly calibrated.
I’ve got some hormonal imbalances that have been really tricky to manage. Treating them involves applying hormone creams and regular visits to the doctor to get tested and adjust my dosage.
On top of that, I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD. And the more you look into ADHD, the more you discover that it’s also kind of a hormonal issue. It’s basically like having a brain that can’t hold onto dopamine so it constantly seeks fresh sources of it.
And because I’m a mess of problems, I’ve also got an anxiety disorder on top of all that.
So, sex doesn’t just make me feel good. It makes me feel like I’ve taken a really strong dose of meds that temporarily make me feel a little less messed up.
My jittery anxiety calms down. My focus and concentration are heightened. My brain works the way it should - or at least, better than it usually does.
I can masturbate my way to a shot of hormones too. But it’s a weaker dose. I get a much better hit when I get fucked just right - and the effects can last right into the next day.
Some Proper Sleep
I suck at sleeping. I know I should be good at it by now - I’ve done it my whole life. But I’m just not.
Every few days, I’ll have a hard time getting to sleep. And once I’m out, it’s only a matter of time before my body decides to wake me up again.
And every little while, I’ll even pop my eyes open and find myself in the middle of a panic attack for some goddamn reason.
So yeah, sleep’s a struggle.
But sex helps me get the upper hand.
Any kind of sexual release helps. Humping my pillow to a climax will help me doze off more easily. Some mutual masturbation before bedtime will mean I feel very satisfied by the time I tuck myself in.
But some good old fashioned fucking is what really helps me get a deeper sleep.
Maybe it’s because going at it for an hour or more always leaves me thoroughly exhausted.
It could be the combination of cardio and hormones that make my melatonin capsule look like a joke.
No clue. All I know is that it works and even if my legs feel sore the next day, I usually feel very well rested.
Plain Ol’ Fun
Sex is good for you. Sex can make you feel closer to your partner. Sex can be ultra pleasurable.
But it’s also just plain fun.
It’s why I really enjoy watching TV shows with tons of sex. It’s not because it gets me horny - it doesn’t always. It’s because there’s something really appealing about sex.
It titillates me. It puts a smile on my face. It makes me feel naughty - and I fucking love feeling naughty.
It’s just a really cool activity, yaknow.
And sometimes, that can be enough of a reason to do it. Because you get to be playful. You get to be enthusiastic. You get to show off and roleplay. You get to be creative. You get to mess around a little bit.
I’m sort of a pillow princess myself, but this is why I kind of understand the people who are super giving in bed. Because even if you strip away the physical pleasure from it, all that fun is still there.
The Opportunity to Be a Good Girl
Giving someone you like a bit of pleasure and a hot experience to go along with it can feel really fucking good.
For me, it has an extra layer to it. Because I’m sexually submissive, I get my rocks off by pleasing my partner. I want to feel like I’m his good girl - that I’m doing things to satisfy him and earn his praise.
That’s incredibly arousing and satisfying for me.
But even without the subby stuff, making someone else’s night and giving them all sorts of pleasure can be really awesome.
I want to be delicate here, though. I’m not talking about sex you have because you feel guilty that you haven’t fucked your partner in a while. Or the sex you have because you feel like a bad wife unless you bang it out at least once a week.
I’m not talking about relationship maintenance sex, sex that you do because you feel pressured to do it, or sex you have because you’re worried your partner will lose interest in you.
Those don’t really count because none of those are enjoyable feelings. They come from a place of anxiety, not enthusiasm.
I’m talking about the times that you really want it. Not the sex itself, but the response someone else has to it.
Like, when you feel so grateful toward someone else that you just want to make them feel really fucking good.
Or when you like someone and you’re feeling generous. So, you’re happy to get them off because you’re thrilled to give them that much pleasure.
And then there’s just being deeply in love. When you’re not exactly horny but just thinking about them makes you sigh blissfully, so you go for it because you know they’ll love pounding into your pussy.
When it comes from a place of genuine desire, giving someone that experience can be really satisfying.
A Self-Esteem Boost
I have great sex with my husband, but it wasn’t always that way.
Like, I don’t want to say that it was absolutely terrible or anything like that. There was just something missing.
There was plenty of good stimulation. I got all the pleasure a gal could ever want. I always enjoyed orgasms by the multiples.
But we had fallen into a sexual rut. Every time we got it on, it felt routine. There was a lot of physical pleasure, but not a whole lot of passion or excitement.
What I missed the most, though, was feeling desired.
I’m sure my husband was still drawn to me. It’s just that I couldn’t feel it in the way he fucked.
It was missing the spontaneity that was there before. The playfulness was gone too. And there was no dirty talk to make up for it.
And that was a really big deal for me because of the most thrilling parts of sex is feeling like you’re having an effect on someone.
It’s getting to feel cute and sexy. It’s feeling desired and irresistible. It’s seeing how turned on and passionate your partner is - and knowing it’s all because of you.
That sort of thing makes you feel really good about yourself. It even helps you forget your insecurities for a hot second.
Sex that gives you that much of a boost to your self-esteem is sex that’s worth having. Because I don’t care how well-designed they are, there’s no way a clit sucker can give you that.
Sex Is Fucking Incredible
I don’t want to downplay sexual pleasure. It’s some top shelf stuff.
Sex gives me some of the most intense, prolonged, and overwhelming pleasure I can experience. It gives me back-to-back orgasms that make me feel like my thoughts have been obliterated and replaced with a giant burst of happiness.
But that’s just the start of it.
And that’s what makes sex amazing. You get so many different great things out of it that you can’t pin down a single reason why sex is so fucking good.
I mean, orgasms are great. But if you also get a good night’s sleep out of it, that’s priceless.
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If you liked this article, you should totally check out the Cock Shame and Green Lines (Alpha Male Nonsense, Pussy Triangles, and Slutty Vans) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!
