7 Accessories Every Pleasure Dom Needs
Use these to give her more pleasure than she can handle
By the time I heard about pleasure doms, I was already in my thirties. But it’s exactly what I’ve needed since the first moment I felt horny.
There are a lot of things I want to feel during sex.
I want sexual stimulation and lots of orgasms. I want the intensity of deep, hard thrusts. I want to be so aroused that it messes with my breathing.
What I don’t want, though, is to feel like I’m in charge.
I get off on giving up control, not keeping it. I’d rather not even share it. I want to let go as completely as I can.
Because of that, I’ve always felt deeply drawn to kink. The thought of being dominated, restrained, and pinned down excited me.
But something always pushed me away. Whenever I looked into BDSM, I saw plenty of domination but it was always mixed in with something that would have been just too much for me.
Spanking and flogging turned me on, but anything that seemed hard enough to be painful made me wince. Bondage fascinated me, but the thought of being bound in an uncomfortable position killed my lady boner. And dominant people can make me wet like no one else, but men with domineering attitudes are downright triggering for me.
Kink felt attractive but dangerous. I worried that as soon as I took any steps into exploring it, I’d slip and find myself in a situation I couldn’t handle.
But I couldn’t deny my urges.
Vanilla sex was great. It was incredibly pleasurable. I had plenty of orgasms. I felt emotionally connected to my husband after we fucked.
Then I started craving more. I had deeper needs that weren’t being met.
I didn’t just want to come - I wanted to lose myself. I wanted my mind to be quiet for once - to stop racing with questions, possibilities, and options. I wanted to stop feeling the pressure to make decisions.
I didn’t just want to get fucked. I wanted to feel taken care of.
I told my husband I wanted him to dominate me. He was down for it, but uncertain of himself at first.
He wasn’t sure how much control I wanted to give up. He didn’t even know what he should do to me. In part, that was because I didn’t know either.
So, he did what he does best. He gave me pleasure. Lots and lots of it. More than I could handle at times.
He made me feel small. Made me feel like I was his. He made me feel helpless while still making me safe.
He took my bratty defiance and turned it into compliance. Not by force, but by overwhelming me with praise, pleasure, and care. He teased and edged me so much that I wouldn’t say no to him - because all I wanted to do was beg for more.
I finally felt like I was being fucked and loved in a way that I truly desired.
Learning about sensual domination and pleasure doms gave me the language I needed to explain exactly what this was and what I wanted from it.
It was praise and pleasure instead of pain and punishment. It was domination with lots of playfulness. It was control that felt more like care than anything else.
That’s precisely what my husband was giving me. And he’s only gotten better at it since.
What I’ve learned from being his little pleasure sub is that it’s mostly about attitude. He can dominate me with nothing but hands and his words.
But there are a few accessories that help a lot. They make our power dynamic feel more vivid. They let him tease me in a lot of different ways. And they give him extra ways to overwhelm me with pleasure until I’m practically begging him to stop while secretly hoping he keeps going.
These are the ones my husband and I personally use the most to make our kinky pleasure-based play even more fun.
Under the Bed Restraints
Domination is so much more interesting with restraints.
Being tied down makes the power exchange feel much more real. I’m literally stuck and at my partner’s mercy. As soon as the straps are fastened around my wrists, I can’t even pretend I’m the one in control.
There’s also a sensory element to it that I love. Pulling and tugging against the restraints while I’m squirming in anticipation, riding through the pleasure, or being surprised by the sensations he’s giving me feels really fucking good.
The Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System was the first proper piece of bondage equipment we bought and it’s still the one we use the most.
It’s a set of wrist and ankle restraints that sits discreetly under your mattress until you’re ready to pull out the straps and play.
I consider it essential for almost any kind of bondage play. But it’s basically perfect for pleasure-based domination because of how comfortable and versatile it is. It’s not intimidating or complicated to use, but it can still make you feel tightly bound and as helpless as you want to be.
Ticklers
Sensations are a big part of pleasure play. It might not sound terribly kinky to use a feather tickler on your partner’s skin, but in a control-based context it very much can be.
Soft strokes and gentle tickling are perfect ways to tease your subby partner and build some sexual anticipation. Giving them slight stimulation means you’re making them wait, building their desire, and making them feel desperate for the more intense types of pleasure they know is coming next.
It will make them feel like they’re starting to lose themselves a little - which is exactly the kind of thing that turns them on.
It’s also a subtle sensation, which works really well when you’ve got them strapped down to the bed. Being tied down heightens everything they feel. It makes them focus squarely on every little thing that’s being done to their body.
The pleasure they feel from the slightest stroke gets magnified. Even the softest touch will feel very stimulating.
And softly stroking a sub’s pussy with a tickler while her wrists and ankles are tied is going to give her so much more pleasure than a feather should be able to.
Paddles and Crops
Getting paddled for the first time was a shocking experience for me. Not because it was painful, but because it wasn’t. I expected a paddling to hurt, but it didn’t at all.
Instead, it just felt similar to a good spanking. Intense, but not aggressive. Deeply stimulating without being painful.
It’s different than a spanking, though.
For one thing, a paddle is colder than a palm, which can be a pleasant sensation in itself.
The smack also feels more spread out than the one you’d get from a spanking. It almost makes it feel like a cross between a caress and a slap.
Some paddles, though, are designed to inflict more pain and they’re not the best choice for pleasure-based play.
Make sure to get one that doesn’t have any holes across the paddle’s surface. Those reduce the air resistance and result in a harder, far more painful smacking.
Some also have textures and bumps that are designed to inflict a little extra hurt to your partner’s ass.
The best paddles for pleasure doms are those with a large, flat, smooth spanking surface, like the Saffron Vegan Leather Square Paddle.
Crops are another really good accessory, but they feel very different. More of a sharp sting, almost like a pinching sensation.
Overall, it’s not as satisfying as a really good paddling, but adding a crop is a really good way to mix things up and give your subby partner lots of different experiences.
A Good Blindfold
Being a pleasure dom is all about giving your partner intense levels of pleasure. And sensory deprivation is a really good way to do that.
When you blindfold your subby partner and restrict their ability to see, you actually heighten their other senses - and all the pleasure that comes with it.
Being blindfolded is also another way to feel like you’ve given up control. The first time I slipped into subspace, it was after my husband blindfolded me and I felt like I was so thoroughly in his care.
I know from personal experience, though, that not every blindfold is perfect. Ideally, you’ll want one that’s easy to slip over your partner’s eyes and that doesn’t come off or come undone even with all the shifting and squirming you’ll be making them do.
Sleep masks work really well for this, but anything that covers enough area so it can move a little and still keep them from seeing should work well.
Handcuffs
Even with a really good set of restraints, we still find ourselves using handcuffs pretty often.
They’re great for when you don’t want to completely restrain your partner’s body, but you still want to limit their ability to move their arms and hands.
It’s great for different positions, like tying her hands behind her back or bending her over and cuffing her wrists behind her knees.
Or you can cuff her and instruct her to stroke your cock or give you head, then watch them figure out how they can do it within their limitations.
But the best part is that you don’t have to play with your cuffs in bed. You can bring them anywhere so you can throw a little bondage into the mix even if you’re fucking on the floor, in the kitchen, or in the living room.
If you’re focusing on pleasure, you’ll want to make sure you get some comfortable ones. Silicone cuffs are a great choice for this and they’re kind of fun to pull against. But there are lots of cuffs with soft padding that feel great against the wrists.
An Edging-Friendly Wand
Technically, you could do the whole pleasure dom thing without edging your partner. But you’d be missing out on one of your best moves.
Edging is going to give your pleasure sub exactly what she wants. Peaks of pleasure that get higher and higher. The kind of arousal that makes her feel breathless. And orgasms that leave her entire body shaking like she’s possessed.
You can edge her with your fingers. You edge her with your mouth. You can even edge her with your cock.
But there’s something really fucking special about edging with a wand.
For one thing, the rumbling vibrations from a wand is some of the most intense stimulation her pussy could handle.
But there’s also something psychologically appealing about it. The fact that you’re stimulating her mechanically can make her feel even more submissive - like she’s not only giving herself over to you, but to the toy as well.
You can edge her with any kind of wand toy, but some make it easier than others.
The Pillow Talk Sultry is the best edging wand I’ve found. It’s easy to hold and manipulate. It’s got a good range of settings that make it easier for you to control how much pleasure she gets.
But the most important thing is that it’s really easy to turn off. So, even if you have it strapped to her thigh, you can remove the stimulation quickly, so she doesn’t have an orgasm before you’re ready to let her come.
A Sturdy Sex Blanket
When you’re giving her all the pleasure she can possibly handle, things are going to get wet.
For one thing, she’s going to be wet as hell.
She’s also going to be hot and sweaty.
You’ll probably be using lots and lots of lube, especially if you treat her to a pussy massage.
And there’s a good chance you’ll make her squirt at least a few times.
You need to plan for things to get messy - probably more than just a towel can handle. That means you need to have a really good sex blanket.
I use the Liberator Fascinator Throw because it’s waterproof, soft to the touch, doesn’t shift around during sex, and it’s really comfortable to lie on.
Whatever you use, make sure it will stay in place no matter what you’re doing and keep your sheets and mattress from getting messy.
Show Her the Time of Her Life
If you want to turn your partner into a puddle of pleasure, you really don’t need a whole lot.
You need lots of patience and care. You need the ability to get off on their pleasure. And you need to know how to take charge during sex without pushing things too far.
You don’t technically need any gear, but it helps - a lot.
If you really want to blow her subby little mind, you’ll need to have a way to tie her down, paddle her ass, and edge her until she’s begging you to let her come.
And when you do, you really should have a sex blanket in place so you can spend the night giving her aftercare instead of changing the sheets.
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If you liked this article, you’ll probably love the My Dirty Little Whore (Positive Humiliation and Praise Kink) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!
