How to Have Sex Like an Alpha Male
Be an alpha in the sheets, even if you’re a beta in the streets
I don’t buy into the kind of alpha male talk you see online.
It’s a bunch of pseudoscience that barely makes sense. There are a lot of claims about what all women find attractive - by people who haven’t bothered consulting women women before typing up their Reddit posts. Usually they throw a heaping dose of misogyny on top of all that.
When people who buy into this stuff describe an alpha male, they’re usually just describing an asshole. And that’s not a sexy quality - at all.
But as a concept, I kind of get the whole alpha male thing.
If we’re just talking about a guy who can project some real confidence. One who knows how to take charge. Who can be dominant when at all the right times. Then yeah, that’s the kind of guy who can make me blush and give me butterflies.
When I fantasize about getting fucked by a guy, it’s almost always a guy who fucks like that kind of alpha would.
Lots of women do. The ones who are a bit on the submissive side, anyway.
And that makes a lot of guys really nervous. It makes them feel a bit inadequate. It makes them worry they just can’t fuck their partners the way they really want to get fucked.
Because they think fucking like an alpha is like having a tight six pack - pretty much unachievable for most guys.
But it’s not. Unless they’re sexually submissive, most guys have what it takes to bring some alpha energy into the bedroom. All they’re missing is a little practice and the right attitude.
Even if you think of yourself as more of a beta, here are a few things that will make you fuck like a confident alpha.
Don’t Initiate Sex - Seduce Her Instead
Lots of guys will initiate sex. But not enough of them will actually put in the work to seduce their partners.
There’s a really big difference.
When you initiate sex, you’re showing her you want to fuck. You put the moves on your partner to see if she’ll reciprocate.
But when you seduce her, you’re not just seeing if she’s down to fool around. You’re doing things that will make her desire you.
That starts with your presentation. All the usual stuff - good grooming, dressing decently when you’re with her, making sure you smell nice.
Then you create a bit of sexual tension. You make some time to be present with her. You flirt with her here and there. You compliment her out of nowhere. That sort of thing.
It’s better if you do all that long before it’s time to bone down. If you do those little things early in the day or when you can’t even have sex, it feels a lot more sincere. Instead of coming across as an attempt to get laid, it shows her that she’s on your mind.
The more time she can spend feeling drawn to you, the better. She has more opportunities to get in the mood. She can daydream about the things she wants to do with you.
Seducing her is a big part of fucking like an alpha. Not because it helps you get laid, but because it changes the way she thinks of you. It makes you seem sexier. It creates a more powerful sexual chemistry. It just plain makes you more desirable.
Lead Her Through the Action
Some of the guys who are the most vocal about being dominant in bed also go at it completely wrong. Especially if they call themselves alphas.
Those guys are more usually more demanding than dominant. They’re pushy. They’re entitled. They don’t take boundaries or consent very seriously. They kind of treat women like submissive sex dolls - and not in the good way.
That’s a recipe for horrible sex. It won’t make anyone feel safe, cared for, or protected. It’s just going to make them regret going through with it.
If you want to excite your partner’s submissive side, that’s the wrong way to do it.
Instead, just take the lead when you’re fucking.
That means giving her things you know she loves, instead of waiting for her to ask for them.
It means taking her feedback seriously and working with it.
You do it by proposing things to her and telling her what position you want her in. Not with bossy commands, but with playful suggestions.
Pick out some sex toys to play with, too. Again, don’t wait for her to grab them or ask for them - be a little creative and find ways to work them into the way you fuck.
Basically, you’re taking initiative. You’re showing her that you know how to get her off, that you can read her cues, and that she can give control over to you in a way that’s really fun and arousing.
Bust Out the Dirty Talk
I’m a firm believer in dirty talk. Everyone should be doing it.
But it’s downright essential if you want to embody that alpha vibe.
For one thing, it’s just plain sexy.
Saying the right things during sex can make your parnter feel desired. It can make her feel appreciated. It can instantly put her in a submissive mindset.
Hearing filthy phrases is seriously arousing. And having them come out of your mouth is going to make you instantly hotter.
But the biggest thing is that it’s going to make you seem confident as hell.
Dirty talk doesn’t come naturally to everyone. If you’re not used to doing it, it can feel a bit embarrassing. And it can take a bit of practice to find your groove and get really good at it.
So when you tell her she’s got an incredible ass when you’re fucking her doggystyle or that her mouth feels amazing when it’s on your cock, it doesn’t just turn her on - it also makes you look really comfortable with your dirty thoughts and horny feelings.
With guys who fuck quietly, it’s the opposite. It usually makes them seem shy, insecure, and a little reserved.
So, work on a couple of filthy phrases you can say during sex. When you’re comfortable with those, start adding more. And if you need a little help, you can’t go wrong getting some inspiration from Seth Gamble.
Don’t Be Shy About Your Turn-Ons
One thing that makes fucking an alpha such a hot fantasy is that you know exactly what he wants.
He’s not shy about what turns him on. He’s comfortable with what gets him off. He doesn’t feel the need to hide any of the things he’s into.
And you shouldn’t either.
You should be focused on her pleasure. That’s a given. But some guys take that a bit too far and put their own pleasure aside completely.
It’s way better if you can let her see what gets you worked up and turns you on, though.
Again, it’s a sign that you’re secure in your sexuality. That’s a really attractive quality and it tends to make sex more fun, playful, and open. It helps you explore and experiment more, which keeps the sex from getting routine and repetitive.
But it also helps her feel a lot sexier.
If she knows that you’re nuts for ass, she can feel even more desire when you give hers a good spank. If she knows that you’re into submissive girls, she can give you those doe eyes and beg for your fingers. If she’s aware that titfucking drives you wild, she can enthusiastically pump her C-cups over your cock.
She wants to do the things that drive you wild. She wants to know that you’re looking at her with real desire. She wants to know that the things she’s doing to you are really turning you on.
But she can’t if she doesn’t really know what you’re into.
Be Cool With Her Preferences
One of the reasons the sketchy alpha male stuff resonates with some guys is that it gives them a bit of reassurance.
They’ll read posts about what all women secretly want. They’ll scroll through Twitter threads claiming to have cracked the secret to female desire. They’ll listen to anyone who says they’ve identified the kind of hunk no woman can resist.
That’s exactly what some guys want to hear. Because if they can become that guy, they’ll be every single woman’s sexual preference.
That’s a total pipedream. It just doesn’t work like that. And honestly, it’s incredibly unrealistic to think that you’ll just happen to be your partner’s ideal specimen of a man.
Or that she even has that an ideal - most people have multiples. And you sure as heck can’t be all of them.
So, the best thing you can do is acknowledge that. Be aware that she has all sorts of sexual preferences, including some that you can’t match. Then work on being cool with that.
She might prefer guys who are taller than you. Guys who have more chiseled muscles. Maybe she’s really into strong, hairy dudes and you’re all slim and smooth. Or she’s incredibly horny for musicians and you’ve never even come close to an instrument.
Whatever it is, it’s fine.
It doesn’t mean she’s not into you.
Doesn’t mean you can’t turn her on.
Doesn’t mean that she isn’t completely and genuinely satisfied with you.
It’s just not a problem at all - unless you let it get to you. If you ruminate on it, fret over it, and feel inadequate because of it, it’s going to seriously bum you out - and make your sex life kind of awkward.
If her preferences bother you, work on it. Remind yourself that it’s no big deal. Focus on the great, fun sex you’re having instead of the random fantasies she daydreams about. And feel good about yourself and what you’re bringing to the bedroom, instead of getting stuck on what you don’t have.
Stop Worrying About Your Size
Guys can’t stop emailing me about their dicks.
And it’s almost always the same thing. They want to know if theirs is big enough.
Which is kind of an odd question. I mean, your dick is your dick. You can’t change what you’re packing, so it’s kind of weird to ask strange women on the internet if it’s alright.
It also doesn’t matter all that much. You can have great sex no matter what size you’ve got. Even if it’s especially small or so big that it’s practically impossible to blow.
But the main problem is that worrying about your dick size misses the point completely. You’re supposed to be enjoying your dick - that’s part of the reason you want to fuck in the first place.
You should be letting your partner enjoy your dick too. And the more confident you are about what you’re packing, the more she will.
If you feel good about your cock, you’ll be able to use it to its fullest potential.
You can pop it out with pride when you’re undressing, instead of downplaying it.
You’ll be able to enjoy every single moment it spends in her mouth and every single stroke of her hand on your shaft, because you won’t be worried about what she thinks of it.
And you’ll be able to fuck her with all your gusto.
Being self-conscious about your cock is going to make you more timid in bed. It’s going to make you a little more inhibited.
So, focus on all the pleasure you’re getting from it - and all the pleasure you can give her. Because that’s really all that matters.
Be the Alpha She Wants
There’s this tendency to think that fucking like an alpha just means having rough sex.
Choking her while you’re pounding her as hard as you can. Spanking her so hard her ass is red for days. Pumping your cock down her throat until her eyes water.
And sure, all that stuff is fine and good. If you’ve got her consent and she’s eager for it, then go ahead and make her mascara run.
But most women with a submissive side want something simpler than that.
They want to be seduced and gently dominated.
They want to get fucked by someone who’s sexually secure and self-confident.
They want to get it on with someone who makes them feel hot and wanted.
If you want to fuck her like an alpha, those are the things you have to work on. Plenty of flirting, a decent amount of dirty talk, and some confidence in the sack - that’s really all it takes.
Dominating her is even easier and way more fun if you’ve got a great set of restraints! That’s an affiliate link, by the way - if you click on it and treat yourself to anything from the site, I earn a small commission and you’ll have the gear you need to really excite your lady’s submissive side! And be sure to use the code LOVEEMMA at checkout to save 15% on your entire order!
If you liked this episode, you should totally check out the All Aboard the Midnight Sexpress (Blissed Out Sex, Anniversary Anal, and Minigolf Seduction) episode of my dirty and intiimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!
