4 Simple Ways to Get in the Mood for Sex

Even if you’re not really feeling it yet

Well, I’ve gone and done it again.

I got myself in that confusing headspace where my libido is low but I really don’t want it to be.

I’m not exactly sure how I got here again - it just sort of happens. All I know is that it really sucks.

Now I miss the part of me that’s really into sex. The one that has intense cravings for all sorts of physical stuff.

I want to get off. I want to fuck in ways that make me feel like a dirty girl. I want the excitement that comes from being teased and denied until I can barely breathe - then pleasured until I can barely speak.

I just want to be horny, dammit!

It’s one of the best feelings in the world and I wish it came to me a lot more easily.

I’ve got plenty of tricks that can help.

Watching good porn is a reliable one - especially if it breaks a taboo or two.

Getting teased with a wearable vibrator can take me from sex neutral to begging for dick in a matter of minutes.

Sensual full-body massages too. Getting naked and letting my husband rub me down will pretty much always have me spreading my thighs for a happy ending.

But those things only work when I’m already kinda feeling it - at least a little.

Sensual massages are great even when I’m absolutely not in the mood - they just won’t lead to anything else. Porn doesn’t hit quite right when you’re not even a teensy bit horny. And I definitely need some kind of arousal before I’m going to slip a wearable vibrator inside me.

When I want to get in the mood but I’m not really feeling it at all, I need to be a lot sneakier about it. I’ve got to find ways to get turned on without spooking my sex drive with filthy hardcore porn.

Lately, these are the four things that help me get there when I’m really struggling to get my sex drive going.

Fill Out a Dirty Coloring Book

These days, I unwind by drawing and coloring.

It’s a good way to chill out and reset my brain. I’ll put on a YouTube video or a show I’ve seen a couple of times already, keep my hands busy with the colored pencils, and just zone out for a while.

It always puts me in a good mood - just not a sexy one.

Unless I pull out the adult coloring books.

Like, the really adult ones. The filthy, X-rated ones I can only use when the kids aren’t around.

It’s pretty much the same experience. I put on something I can half-watch, sharpen the pencils when the tips get too nubby, and make sure I’m staying in the lines.

But the entire time, I’m paying close attention to drawings of dicks and tits. I’m trying to get the shading right on a lady giving two handjobs at once. Even if my mind wasn’t on sex, all those dirty images keep me thinking about it.

And I haven’t even started on the Sexy Butts coloring book - that one might work even better.

The only tricky part is that I don’t have enough skin tones in my pencil set. I might have to get a bigger pack to do those juicy butts justice.

But even though I have to make some of the dicks golden instead of tan and get a little creative with what counts as a fleshy color, it does a pretty good job giving me a few extra naughty thoughts.

Watch an Old School Sexy Thriller

Porn’s a little bit much when I’m not feeling sexy at all. It’s kind of sexually overstimulating.

What I need instead is a sex movie.

Not a movie that’s full of extended hardcore action. Not one that’s all about banging and not much else.

I’m talking about a movie that would probably still be worth watching even if there wasn’t any sex in it - but that still has a decent amount of it.

Old school thrillers did that really well.

You put them on for the danger and suspense. You get invested in whoever is getting betrayed, stalked, or blackmailed. You watch people get themselves in all sorts of trouble - and escape by the skin of their teeth.

Image from Cruel Intentions / Columbia Pictures

But then you get something even better than that. Because you also see people having softcore sex. You get to see tits and plenty of skin. You get to watch men with ravenous sexual appetites and women who are willing to use it to their advantage.

The thrills are all there and they keep me watching right up to the end credits. But it’s the sexual tension and forbidden temptation that get me all worked up.

They don’t make that many good sexy movies these days, though. And that really sucks, because it’s such an easy way for me to get turned on even when my sex drive is weak.

But at least I can always go back and watch Cruel Intentions or Wild Things whenever I get a bit desperate.

Have a Sensual Bubble Bath

Taking a long, relaxing bath can make you way more receptive to all sorts of sexy thoughts.

You don’t have to worry about anything when you’re soaking. It’s like a mental reset.

You’ve got full privacy, so you get to really connect with yourself.

Plus, you come out of it feeling fresh and clean. And that’s pretty much essential for getting in a horny mood.

You’re going to feel good when you’re done with your bath. But you can do a few things to help you get turned on, too.

You can listen to music that helps you feel a bit feisty. You can read something steamy. You can put on a sex podcast and see where it takes you.

It helps if you use a bath bomb or anything that makes your skin feel extra slippery and smooth. That’s going to make you want to touch yourself - and the more you enjoy the feeling of your own skin, the more you’re going to want someone else’s hands on it.

You should also bring a good waterproof sex toy with you.

You might not end up using it, so it’s like you’re taking your vibrator for a walk. But if you manage to get in the mood for some solo fun, you’ll be glad you have it.

Wear Something Sexy Under Your Clothes

You’re more likely to work out if you change into your yoga pants first thing in the morning. You’ll probably turn on your laptop and start working earlier if you put on some proper clothes right after you wake up.

There’s a sex version of that, too.

If you wear something sexy, you’re more likely to get some naughty urges.

Whatever you’re wearing, make sure you’ve got something hot underneath it.

Your cutest underwear.

A bra that actually matches your panties.

Lingerie you’d usually only wear on date nights.

Thigh-highs that make you look even better from behind.

Whatever it is, put it on and go about your day. You’ll feel a little more confident, a little more attractive, and a bit more open to doing something naughty by evening.

Plus, it kind of feels like a waste to keep it to yourself. You know you’ll look extra hot undressing, and that can be enough to make you want to do it.

Get Sneaky Horny

Sometimes you’re just on the verge of being horny and all you need is a little push.

A few minutes of watching people fuck.

One flirty, suggestive text from your partner.

The right kind of touch in just the right spot.

That’s all it takes and you’re good to go.

But then sometimes you need more than that. Pushing yourself into being horny just won’t work - you’ve got to ease into it.

You’re so far from being aroused that you have to practically trick yourself into being turned on.

And that’s a tough thing to do. It’s always a struggle. But it’s going to be a lot easier if you bust out the dirty coloring book and start shading.

This post contains affiliate links to a few fun, naughty things. If you click on one of them and treat yourself to anything from the site, I earn a small commission and you’ll have an easier time getting yourself in the mood! Be sure to use the code LOVEEMMA at checkout to save 15% on your entire order!

If you liked this article, you should totally check out the Speed Up Your Sex Drive (Get Horny and Get It On) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!