3 Medications That Made Me Horny as Fuck
Sometimes it just takes one little pill to turn you into a sex maniac
I feel like there are three separate versions of me.
There’s chill Emma. She’s basically an aspiring cat lady who loses track of time scrolling through TikTok.
She’s alright, but I prefer happy, horny Emma. She’s way more upbeat. She’s a ray of sunshine with a spring in her step and a rainbow unicorn buttplug in her butt.
Then there’s the version of me that’s just a total mess. She’s bummed out, unmotivated, and incredibly anxious. Every version of me is chronically ill, but that’s the one that feels it the most.
And the frustrating thing is that I never really know who I’m going to be when I wake up.
I hate starting the day knowing I’m going to waste it being a mess. I’m even a little disappointed when I’m just chill, because I know I could feel so much better than that.
I always go to bed with my fingers crossed, hoping I’ll wake up the happy, horny version of me - buttplug optional.
And the happiness and horniness really are connected. I don’t exactly know how, but I know they’re a package deal. Horny me is the only fully happy version of me. It’s the version of me that’s motivated, creative, pumped about life, and actually able to relax when there’s nothing to do.
Being her is the only time I actually feel like me - the girl who lives beneath all the anxiety and exhaustion.
The problem is, I don’t get to be myself all too often because my sex drive is frustratingly low. So, I’m always looking for ways to get my libido up and get my sparkle back.
I haven’t found a magic horny solution yet. Lots of things help, but none are as permanent or reliable as I wish they were.
Three medications came really close, though. They weren’t prescribed to treat my libido, but each of them gave me a taste of the sex drive I dream of getting back.
Testosterone Made Me Impulsively Horny
My test results were clear. I didn’t just have low T - I pretty much had no T.
For whatever reason, my body doesn’t bother making the testosterone it needs.
Finding that out was a little upsetting. It’s like my body’s hormonal systems had crashed and refused to reboot.
But it also gave me hope.
This was before I had a long list of diagnoses I could refer to when I was feeling terrible. All I knew at that point is that I had overwhelming fatigue, extreme brain fog, and that all of it seemed related to my thyroid.
Finding out that my testosterone was running on empty at least gave me a simple fix. A topical testosterone cream might be the only thing I’d need to start feeling alive again.
It worked quickly. Almost as soon as I started hormonal treatments, I started thinking clearly again. I could do more than two things without completely crashing.
And I was quite possibly the horniest I’d ever been.
I was easily aroused and I could feel it all over my body. My heart would race. My breath would get heavy. I’d feel warmth between my legs.
It was more than that, though. I wasn’t just turned on - I was downright desperate.
I always have dirty thoughts. Only this time, they weren’t running in the back of my mind. They were pushing me along.
I got the urge to make terrible decisions. Even when my brain knew better, my pussy and the heart that kept pumping blood to it would take the lead instead.
For the first time in my life, I was actually thankful for my social anxiety. It’s probably the only thing that kept me from trying to bang the bearded guys who sold garlic scapes at the farmers market or creep on the hipster girls with sleeve tattoos and cloth bags full of acorn squashes.
It didn’t stop me from getting in trouble from the comfort of my own home, though.
I don’t get involved with my readers anymore, but I did in the past. Twice.
I was still kind of new to blogging and pretty naive about being a public person online. I was still giving everyone the benefit of the doubt instead of protecting my time and my mental energy. But it’s the testosterone-fueled horniness that was really to blame.
Even after the heart-racing effects started wearing off, I was still making impulsive decisions. I’d pursue almost anything as long as it meant I could get my rocks off.
I ignored red flags even though I could see them very clearly. People sliding into my DMs and quickly turning things sexual set off my alarm bells - but also intrigued me. I became way too forgiving of the guys I got mixed up with because I didn’t want the dirty emails and phone sex to stop.
It was months of emotional ups and downs. It gave me my first taste of heartache in more than ten years. I got dicked around a bunch but never actually got any in-person dick to make up for it.
I’m not proud of the decisions I made back then and I don’t know that I want to get tangled up like that again - at least not with emotionally unavailable dudes.
It was really fun, though. I can’t deny that. I never once felt disconnected from myself, even when my brain was pleading for my pussy to stop.
The excitement was back in my life - and not just because I was getting some strange on the side. I was physically attracted to my husband in a way that I hadn’t been in years. He could make me melt without effort and the sex was intense and incredible.
The only thing I really regret is that none of the mistakes I made were with those hipster girls.
I’m still on testosterone but unfortunately, those sexual effects have significantly worn down. It clears my brain fog. Even on a bad day, I have more energy than before. But I can’t help but miss the easy arousal.
Prozac Gave Me Pharmaceutical Death Grip
Testosterone made me feel like I could get my life back, but it wasn’t perfect.
I had an easier time functioning for the most part. Then I’d get hit with a bout of depression and it would knock me out for weeks at a time.
Even when the depression cleared, I was struggling.
Anxiety was my default setting. Most days, I could power through it. I’d feel on edge the entire time, like I knew something bad was about to happen - even if I had no idea what it was.
Usually, I could keep my composure and make it through the day.
Then the ruminations started getting the best of me. When it got really bad, I’d spiral out and lie in bed for hours worrying about the same thing over and over again.
I tried to rationalize it and convince myself that if I was feeling so anxious, there must be a reason for it. I wouldn’t worry like that for nothing.
I kept digging until I got to the bottom of it. I tracked down the culprit - and the call was coming from inside the house.
Turns out I didn’t have real reasons to be worried. What I had was Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
Specifically, Pure OCD - the kind that doesn’t look obsessive or compulsive but sure as hell feels like it.
That’s not a job for testosterone. It’s a job for Prozac.
Prozac is primarily an antidepressant, but it’s also a common treatment for OCD.
And taking it worried the fuck out of me.
Prozac is supposed to be a happy pill, but it’s also got a reputation for killing sex drives.
What the hell was that supposed to mean for someone like me? If my happiness and horniness are a package deal, would killing my lady boner doom me to misery?
Plus, there’s the fact that every single part of my job revolves around sex. I run a sex blog. I didn’t have two sex podcasts at the time, but hosting just one was plenty. I was in too deep and it felt too late to pivot to cat blogging.
I couldn’t shake the fear, but I went ahead and medicated myself. The intrusive thoughts had become so loud that I didn’t have much room for sexy thoughts anyway.
I don’t know if you’ve ever been on an OCD anxiety spiral, but sex is the last thing on your mind. Unless you’re spiraling out about sexual anxieties, which actually makes things worse.
So, what the hell. Whatever Prozac did to my libido, it couldn’t be any worse than what I was doing to it.
I was nervous when I swallowed the first dose. But I shouldn’t have been. Prozac definitely can throw a bucket of water on your flaming hot sex drive. But if your anxiety and depression are already cockblocking you, the meds can boost your libido even more than nasty porn.
Prozac didn’t give me the kind of raging lady boners I had on testosterone. But it cleared my head and that’s all I needed.
My anxious thoughts got quiet so my dirty ones could get louder. I could finally relax, which meant I could actually get turned on.
I didn’t feel so impulsive this time. I wasn’t on the verge of turning into a sex maniac. But I felt like I was making up for lost time.
I gave myself time for horny daydreams. I cleared my schedule so I could have long, intense fuck sessions. I’d fuck for a few days in a row. I’d get myself off during my afternoon bath and still have enough sexual energy to have sex the same night.
The only side effect I really dealt with was some kind of pharmaceutical death grip. It was like a deal with the devil - the pill that were helping me get horny was making it really hard for me to come.
Thankfully, it didn’t last. Once my body got used to the medication, my orgasms came back. And honestly, needing lots and lots of sexual stimulation beats never feeling up to it in the first place.
Unfortunately, the big burst of desire I got from the Prozac didn’t last either. My horny meter went back to moderate after a couple of months.
It’s still helping, though. My OCD symptoms are weak and manageable now. My stress is lower and my mood is better. Prozac gives me the mental space to actually think about sex, get turned on, and hold on to that arousal long enough to do something about it.
Buspirone Gave Me Back My Oomph
Things were looking up after Prozac. I was highly optimistic. I thought that maybe my sex drive would finally be back for good.
There was just one problem. My OCD might have taken a backseat, but my anxiety didn’t.
Everything was going well. Things in my life were fine. But it’s like my nerve endings never got the message.
I kept feeling tense, on edge, and nervous.
It wasn’t my OCD acting up. I knew obsessions and compulsions and this wasn’t it.
My testosterone levels were okay, so that probably wasn’t it either.
I saw my doctor about it a few times and she settled on it being a pretty bad case of generalized anxiety.
I think that means she doesn’t have a clue what’s causing it either. But at least she would be able to prescribe something.
We went through a few options and settled on Buspirone. She recommended it because she thought it would be the right anti-anxiety medication for my situation. I agreed to it because I knew that increased libido is one of the side effects.
I played it cool, though. I didn’t want her to think I was some kind of pervert looking for horny pills - even if that’s kind of what I was doing.
This time, I wasn’t worried about the sexual side effects. I took my first dose of Buspirone hoping I would get them.
The first thing I noticed is that my nerves were a lot less frayed. I was chilled out. If I was distracted enough, I could even go an hour without feeling a shiver of anxiety.
Then the arousal started kicking in.
Not as hard as the first time. I didn’t go on a bender of fucking and masturbating or anything like that.
But I went back to having sex more regularly. I used my phone for porn instead of just using it for TikTok. I had to start charging my vibrators more often.
And all of it was way more satisfying. Buspirone gave me the easy orgasms that Prozac had taken from me. They were stronger too. I wasn’t just coming more often and more easily, there was some real oomph behind them.
It brought me back from the brink. For a while, I worried I was heading back into sexless marriage territory and that there was nothing I could do about it.
Prozac pulled me back into my sexy self. But it’s the Buspirone that’s holding me there.
Get Your Mojo Back
Libido struggles are a big deal. But it’s tough to get people to take them seriously - especially when it happens to women.
A lot of people assume that the minute you get married, have kids, or kiss your early twenties goodbye, it’s normal for your sex drive to start dying away.
But being able to get horny isn’t just a luxury - it’s something that actually affects your wellbeing. When you lose your sex drive, you also lose a lot of the excitement in your life. Your dirty, horny, sexy side is actually a pretty big part of who you are. And being disconnected from it can be downright depressing.
It can also be a symptom that’s worth paying attention to.
If you’re asexual, then it’s all good. You lack of interest in sex is just a part of who you are.
If you’re with a partner who tends to do things that turn you off, makes it hard to emotionally connect, or has a way of ruining sex, then that’s what needs work. There’s nothing wrong with your sex drive if you just have nothing worth getting horny for.
But if you miss your sexual desire and you have no idea where it went, then it could be an underlying condition.
A lot of your horniness is driven by some of your hormones. So when you lose it, it could be a hormonal imbalance that’s responsible.
All sorts of chronic illnesses make it hard to get in the mood too. I’ve got PMDD, which means there’s at least a week out of every month where there’s no way for me to get in a sexy mindset, no matter what I try. Any kind of chronic pain or discomfort can kill your mojo too.
Same with neurodivergent conditions. OCD ruminations killed my lady boner. ADHD can accelerate your sex drive but it can also pump the brakes on it. And if you’re on the autism spectrum, the things that will help you get comfortable and turned on might not be the same things that would work if you were neurotypical.
If you lose your sex drive, you should get to the bottom of why. That might involve testing your hormone levels. It could be finding ways to manage your chronic conditions.
And if you’re lucky, you’re just one prescription away from getting back in touch with your horny, happy self.
If you want a bit of help getting turned on, you should try the Lip Tease Clitoral Stimulant and the Oh Gee G-Spot Gel - they’re my favorite arousal products! Those are affiliate links, by the way - if you click on one and treat yourself to anything from the site, I earn a small commission and you’ll be giving your libido a quick boost! And be sure to use the code LOVEEMMA at checkout to save 15% on your entire order!
If you liked this article, you should totally check out the Even More Assholes (Sexy Body Pillows, the Masturbation Judge, and Fleshlight Rage) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!
