Let Me Introduce You to Puppet Porn
A crash course through a very small porn category
Note: This post contains nudity (you’re welcome!)
I completely understand the appeal of playing with an artificial fuckthing.
You don’t have to tell me why a sex robot would be awesome. I’ve known that ever since the fembots in Austin Powers lit up every single bisexual neuron in my brain.
Saving up for my own robo-harem
A mechanical dude would be pretty cool too. The sexual possibilities are practically endless when you’re getting fucked with a robodick.
Or a fembot with a robodick - that would also be a wet dream come true.
And even if there are no moving parts, I’m very much down.
I practically fell in love with my first torso doll the moment I took her out of the box.
She doesn’t have a head, so I couldn’t stare lovingly into her eyes. But I did admire her soft, spankable butt and her firm little tits and that felt close enough.
Then there’s my Rough Rider. He’s not much of a man - he’s just the middle section, and pretty much only the front of it. But that was enough for me to give him a name and get the urge to ride him.
But a puppet, though?
I can sexualize a lot of things, but I don’t know that I’ve ever gone that far.
I’ve never had any fantasies about getting rammed by Kermit.
Never once wondered what it would be like to get double teamed by Bert and Ernie.
Not a single kinky daydream about getting tied up by a marionette’s strings.
I’m more likely to get creeped out by a puppet than turned on by one.
So, I can very much resist a puppet. But one thing I can’t resist is ridiculous porn.
That’s why I’ve never passed up an opportunity to watch puppet porn.
That’s only happened three times - it’s not exactly a popular porn category. But that was enough. After those scenes, I can finally say that I kind of get it.
I don’t know if I can turn you into a puppet porn convert, but here’s a quick dip into the fun world of felt-covered fucking.
Let My Puppets Come
The neat thing about puppet porn isn’t just that it exists, but that it has existed for quite a while.
My first exposure to it was the 1976 film Let My Puppets Come.
I watched it on a budget DVD release years ago, and I honestly don’t remember a whole lot of it.
It was silly. It was a novelty. It was neat to see my first set of puppet boobs.
The premise is as simple as you’d expect it to be. After a big flop, a group of executives are left with a massive debt they have to somehow pay off. They need a big cash injection and they need it now.
Thankfully, a delivery boy comes up with the perfect solution. Hire some talent and shoot a porn film.
Oh, and they’re all puppets.
Image from Vinegar Syndrome
Except for a few small roles, pretty much all the characters are. And there are some naked human ladies, which is fun.
But I was kind of disappointed by how soft it was - not the fuzzy puppets, but the action they got into.
I wanted to see some human-on-puppet sex, but instead all the action was puppet-on-puppet. And none of it actually turned me on.
Image from Vinegar Syndrome
Which is fine because it’s less of a smut film and more of a musical comedy with jokes that haven’t aged well.
They also take the opportunity to do things you couldn’t do with real performers. Not just giving one of the musical numbers to a singing dick, but also a graphic sex scene between a puppet dog and a puppet lady.
This movie is really hard to find these days, and maybe that’s for the best.
Les Pornos De Puppets
Needless to say, I didn’t look for more puppet porn after sitting through Let My Puppets Come.
And that would’ve probably been my last experience with it if it wasn’t for Tommy Pistol.
When porn production basically shut down because everyone in the industry had to start social distancing, Adult Time launched their Model Time series. It featured scenes shot and produced by the performers themselves.
Some of them went solo. Some of them filmed with their partners.
Tommy decided to cast a bunch of puppets.
Image from Model Time / Adult Time
Les Pornos De Puppets is about a guy who is stuck at home getting the worst kind of blue balls you can imagine. Instead of any physical discomfort, he’s basically haunted by a manifestation of his pent up horniness - a puppet named Kyle.
Thankfully for him, he can fuck it out with Faye Doneaway. She’s also being haunted - by a fuck-hungry puppet named Jizzabelle.
And thankfully for us, Faye is curvy, plump, and pigtailed.
They fuck their puppet problem away and a lot of the action is really hot - especially the extended pussy eating and the doggystyle banging.
The half-dozen puppets fuck too and we get quick snippets of the weird little orgy they’re enjoying on the side.
Image from Model Time / Adult Time
It’s a funny scene. It’s silly and creative. The sex is fun and it involves a girl with an ass worth staring at.
But there’s one thing I was expecting and still didn’t get. There was no puppet-on-human sex. Everyone fucks but no one crosses the felt barrier.
The Puppet Inside Me
Tommy Pistol is a lot of things to me. And now he’s also the puppet porn guy.
Because Les Pornos De Puppets wasn’t actually his first time performing with puppets. He’d already done that when he starred in WoodRocket’s The Puppet Inside Me.
It’s a pretty short scene - just a little over half an hour. But a lot happens during that runtime.
It’s a mockumentary about Feltcock Studios, a company that specializes in puppet porn. Tragedy hits their set when one of their performers pops - literally.
It’s a hospital scene with a sexy human nurse lady (played by Veronica Chaos) and a blue puppet. It’s weirdly hot. She does a few different things with his blue boner and it’s so good you wish they would do even more.
It’s not meant to be, though. Fucking the hot nurse is so overwhelming that instead of giving her a moneyshot, he bursts into a cloud of fluff and scraps.
Image from WoodRocket
There’s only one thing they can do to recover from the disaster and honor their fallen star. They’re going to go out on a bang - with a final, big-budget puppet porn film.
And they’ve got the perfect guy for the job. Tommy Pistol - and his gallon jug of lube.
He’ll be filming a scene with Charlotte Sartre and a bashful puppet named Margot Downonme.
Margot is nervous because it’s going to be her first time performing with a human - two humans, no less. But she has nothing to worry about because it’s a lead-up to what has got to be the hottest puppet porn scene ever committed to film.
I didn’t expect to get turned on by this scene, but it was impossible not to. Tommy’s chemistry with his puppet co-star is so intense you can genuinely feel it before they’re even fooling around.
And the sex is top-notch. Not just because we get to see Tommy and Charlotte do hardcore, playful, rough things to each other. But because Margot never gets sidelined.
Image from WoodRocket
They do a ridiculously good job at keeping the puppet animated while they’re fucking. And they work through basically every single way you could fuck a puppet.
Best of all, no one explodes at the end - though Tommy does pop on both of their faces.
It’s a hilarious scene with funny dialogue, silly gags, and a living casting couch. It’s the kind of thing you load up for a laugh but leave on because the threesome is surprisingly arousing.
More Puppet Fucking Please
Fembots are way hotter than even the sexiest puppet you can find.
I’ll keep fucking my dolls and might even get more, but I don’t really have any interest in getting a sex puppet.
I’m not a puppet sex convert yet.
But I’m fully sold on puppet porn.
It’s silly and dirty, and that’s really all I need to be entertained.
But after watching The Puppet Inside Me, I know that it can legitimately turn me on.
Puppet porn isn’t going to be one of my new porn search terms. And I don’t think I’m going to hunt more of it down.
But if I ever come across some, I will most definitely click on it. Because I know it’s probably going to be a lot of fun - especially if it involves Tommy Pistol fucking a felt girl.
If you want to watch The Puppet Inside Me with me and Mr. Austin, you can become one of our Friends With Benefits on Patreon and get access to our commentary track! You’ll also get access to our other porn watchalongs and bonus podcast episodes!
This post contains affiliate links for Model Time. If you click on it and treat yourself to a membership, I earn a small commission and you’ll be getting access to all the amazing porn on Adult Time! Use my affiliate links to get a great discount and use the code LOVEEMMA to get an even better deal!
