The Only Kind of Vibrator Addiction You Need to Worry About
Avoid it if you want better orgasms
My Discord server is one of my happy places.
Instagram can be kind of dull. Twitter’s - well, I’m sure you know what Twitter’s like. I probably wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for all the quality lewds and nudes in my feed. But Discord is just plain cozy.
It’s chill and casual. It’s super friendly. And because everyone found their way there through my podcast, it’s incredibly open and sex positive.
But recently, there was one moment of division that I found really interesting.
It had to do with how many sex toys everyone liked to use.
The guys went to bat for variety. They seemed ready to build a stockpile of powerful vibrators and fancy dildos so they could pleasure their partners in every way imaginable.
Not the women, though. They were more the fiercely loyal type. The kind of gals who will happily dabble with new ways to play, but mostly stick to one or two toys that get them off really well.
And I don’t like to take sides, even though all these disagreements have all been incredibly civil. But I’ve got to say, I’m with the dudes on this one.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m completely sympathetic to the ladies. In fact, I have the exact same tendency to settle down with a toy I love.
But that’s why I know it can be a problem.
How I Ruined My Poor Little Clit
Because I review sex toys, I have tons of them to play with.
I get so many that storing them has become kind of a problem.
But even with a dresser stuffed full of thrusters, wands, and buttplugs, I keep finding myself gravitating to one or two toys at a time. Whenever one of them really wows me, I get kind of fixated on it. I take it out of the dresser and I give it a special spot right in my nightstand.
There are a few reasons for that.
One of them is that I really suck at making decisions. Which makes staring down the shaft of a dozen dildos even more intimidating than it already is. So, I like to make the choice easier by having a toy already picked out.
But the biggest one is that it can be hard to pass up a quick and reliable orgasm.
I discovered that years ago when I bought this cute pink bunny vibe. It had a nice shape I could palm comfortably. The vibrations were right in my Goldilocks zone - not too weak, not too strong. And it had little silicone ears that would tickle and tease my clit.
That toy was so good, I practically married it.
I never masturbated without it. And I stopped buying new toys because I had finally found The One.
My bunny gave me lots of wonderful orgasms. It was especially handy whenever I only had a few minutes to get off. I still have really fond memories of grinding that bad boy.
But as much as I loved it, my monogamous masturbation habits ended up being a problem.
One of the worst days of my life was the day my bunny broke. I had humped it so often and so hard that the poor thing just couldn’t take it anymore.
I rushed to replace it, but I couldn’t. My heart sank when I couldn’t even find it listed on the manufacturer’s site. My lovely little pink toy had been discontinued.
I tried to turn that problem into an opportunity. With my bunny out of commission, I could try out a bunch of new sex toys until I found one that could really get me off.
That was exciting until I actually started playing with them.
Turns out, my bunny didn’t just make me come - it also made my clit fully dependent on it.
My new toys were all really fun and pleasurable. And they could make me come, even though it was a real struggle sometimes.
But every vibrator was a tiny bit disappointing. None of them felt quite right, because none of them felt like those tickly bunny ears.
That’s when I had to face the facts.
I had given myself death grip.
Pussy Bootcamp
I don’t know if you’ve ever given yourself death grip, but it’s a real pain in the puss.
You’ve got that one way of masturbating that makes you see stars, which is great. But everything else loses its sexy glow.
The pleasure is a bit muted because it’s not what your clit’s used to.
You get impatient when you’re playing with yourself because you know you could finish yourself off faster with your one magic move.
And you kind of lose touch with your body a bit. Instead of exploring all the different ways you can turn yourself off and get yourself off, you’re playing the same note over and over.
I was addicted to a bunny vibe that wasn’t even in my life anymore. So, there was only one thing to do.
I had to retrain my pussy.
I gave myself plenty of time to make myself come, so I wouldn’t be rushing for the most convenient climax I could get.
Instead of looking for the next toy that would sit by itself in my nightstand, I tried to go for variety. I’d switch between a bullet vibe, a wand, and something I could grind against. I’d mess around with a dildo or a G-spot vibrator to get warmed up - or go all the way if I got a good thrust going. If I was feeling especially frisky, I’d put something in my ass too.
It took a while, but it worked. Eventually, I broke the spell that pink bunny had over my pink pussy.
I could fully enjoy so many different kinds of pleasure. I got reacquainted with every type of orgasm my body is capable of having.
That put the thrill back in masturbating. It made sex better too - the stimulation felt more electric and the orgasms hit a touch harder.
I still get excited when I really fall in love with a toy. But I know better than to completely commit myself to it.
Because my vibrator was never the problem - my monogamous relationship with it is what messed me up. So as long as I’ve got my sex toy polycule, I can have all the fun I want without ruining my clit all over again.
Watch Out for Clit Grip
Vibrator addiction is absolutely a real thing. Just not in the way a lot of people think it is.
When people talk about vibrator addiction, they usually mean that a girl will use sex toys so much that she loses the ability to get off in the old fashioned ways.
She’s so hooked on those buzzy vibes that she can’t have multiple orgasms from a bit of fingering or getting dicked down.
Her partner will struggle to make her come. Sometimes she might not come at all. And it’s easy to blame her vibrator for making her that way.
But honestly, that’s kind of silly.
Some girls just aren’t all that sensitive, and they were that way long before a vibrator ever graced their clits. Others need a couple of good solid power moves to get over the edge and hit a climax. And some ladies will just come more quickly with toys - most of us do.
If she needs a vibrator to get off, then she’ll need a vibrator to get off. It’s easy to work it into sex and find all sorts of ways to give her the stimulation she needs.
No biggie.
The real issue isn’t that a lady might need a vibrator to get off - that’s fine. The problem is that she might need a very specific one to fully enjoy herself.
Because sex toys are at their best when they enhance pleasure and let you explore different kinds of stimulation. And getting hung up on one type did the opposite of that for me - and for lots of other ladies, too. Instead of adding new kinds of pleasure to my life, it got me stuck on a single type.
So I try to be more careful now.
I still keep the Magic Wand Mini by my bedside because it’s a fantastic and trusty vibrator. But I’ve got other things in rotation, too - thrusters, rabbits, and all sorts of other fun stuff.
It’s so much more enjoyable that way. I even get to enjoy my favorite toys more when I play around instead of settling down.
If you’ve found a toy you love, that’s fucking great. But if you want to avoid death grip and keep your clit extra happy, make sure to keep getting off in all sorts of other ways too.
This post contains affiliate links to some of my favorite toys! If you click on one and treat yourself to anything from the site, I earn a small commission and you’ll have more variety so you can fix that death grip! And be sure to use the code LOVEEMMA at checkout to save 15% on your entire order from Betty’s Toy Box!
If you liked this article, you should totally check out the Straight, But… (150th Episode Lovefest) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!
