People on TikTok Are Wrong About Bi Husband Energy

But I’m not 100% sure I’m right, either

I wasn’t going to write about this because it goes against one of my personal blogging rules.

I try really hard not to write about things unless I have some kind of personal connection to it.

It’s why I’ve written about DDlg, bondage, and praise, but haven’t touched a bunch of kinks I don’t have - even though they’re cool and fascinating.

It’s why I don’t like giving sex tips unless I’ve actually tried them out myself. That’s the only way I’ll know which tips actually work, which ones don’t, and why some of them only work sometimes.

It’s why I haven’t reviewed the Balldo yet, even though it’s been sitting in my dresser for months. And I won’t be writing about it until my husband’s balls have actually been inside me.

I don’t think I’ll ever give up on that rule.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t bend it once in a while.

Like right now. Because the concept of bi husband energy came up on the Pillow Talk Discord and I want to say a few things about it.

Bi Wife Energy

I can’t talk about bi husband energy without talking about bi wife energy first.

It’s a TikTok sound that I first heard about two years ago. It’s always playing over a montage of some guy who has all the qualities that might make a bisexual woman want to commit - usually posted by his own wife.

Since then, it’s been at the back of my mind at all times.

Because it’s one of those concepts that’s just plain useful. It’s like daddy, big dick energy, or golden retriever boyfriend - it sticks with you because it gives you a shorthand for a type of guy you could definitely spot but didn’t have a name for.

It wasn’t just a meme, either. It was also a certified banger.

Now, the song doesn’t really break down the concept too much. But it didn’t have to. It’s just one of those terms that clicks. As soon as you hear it, it makes perfect sense - you don’t even have to close your eyes to picture the kind of guy who fits that label.

And if it doesn’t, you’ll probably get the picture after watching enough bi wife energy TikToks. It just takes a few sweet goofball husbands before you pick up on the general vibe.

But if you need the Cliffs Notes version, there’s a TikTok that does a good job of breaking it down.

Basically, it’s a guy who has a blend of masculine and feminine energy, doesn’t mind being vulnerable, and isn’t creepy about the fact that his wife is into women.

He’s got to be playful, too. If you ask me, that’s one of the biggest bi wife energy traits.

Or you can forget all that and just picture Pete Davidson.

And I feel pretty comfortable talking about bi wife energy because I happen to be a bisexual woman and I know what I like in a guy. I’m also married to someone who checks off some of the boxes. He doesn’t buy into traditional gender roles, he’s emotionally open, and he doesn’t try to use my bisexuality to score FFM threesomes - if anything, I’m the unicorn hunter and he’s just along for the ride.

But when bi wife energy came up on my Discord, one of my listeners asked the big question. What about bi husband energy?

So, I decided to look into it and basically came up empty handed.

For the First Time in My Life, TikTok Has Let Me Down

Naturally, I went to TikTok first. That’s where I found out about bi wife energy and maybe I could use it to learn about bi husband energy, too.

But there really isn’t much. And what I did find kind of missed the point.

There are a couple of sweet bi husband energy videos. Basically, it’s women celebrating their bisexual husbands. That’s great but if bi wife energy is the overall vibe that bisexual women want to settle down with, then bi husband energy should be something that bisexual men are drawn to - not the traits a bisexual husband has.

The only definition on Urban Dictionary has the same problem - it assumes bi husband energy is about the husband being an ally to his wife. But we have a term for that already - it’s bi wife energy.

And because I know how to google, I searched for “bi husband energy reddit” but still didn’t come up with anything. All the results were about bi wife energy.

So, I tried reverse engineering it by searching for “women with bisexual husbands” and that didn’t get me anywhere either. Mostly page after page about how to cope with a bisexual husband. But a woman with bi husband energy wouldn’t be coping with her husband’s attraction to men - she’d be totally cool with it.

And that’s when I decided to bend my blogging rule.

I can’t know for sure, but I assume I don’t actually have bi husband energy. Mainly because I don’t have a bi husband. I married a straight dude, so I can’t just look into my soul to figure out what bi husband energy looks like.

But no one else is talking about it, so I’m going to give it a shot anyway.

One thing I can do is extrapolate from the concept of bi wife energy.

At a bare minimum, a woman with bi husband energy is going to be really secure about her husband’s bisexuality. She’s not coping, she doesn’t feel weird about it, she just loves her bisexual husband for who he is.

But that doesn’t get us very far, so I’m going to start going with the qualities I associate with bi husband energy.

Yep, I’m straight up guessing. But fuck it, we have to start somewhere.

When I think of a woman with bi husband energy, I think of someone really progressive. Highly sex positive, too. And just an effortlessly cool lady all around - the kind who never feels the need to show off but still makes you want to spend plenty of time in her presence.

To be perfectly honest, I’d probably assume she’s queer herself. But there’s a whole other term for that, so I won’t include it in my definition.

So yeah, that’s it. I know it’s a bit vague, but it’s all I’ve got. That’s just what happens when TikTok lets you down.

We Need a New TikTok Trend

Hopefully, someone who has some real personal experience with bi husband energy can start posting about it. Preferably on TikTok. Ideally, with a catchy little tune.

I’ll be keeping an eye on my For You Page, and hopefully the algorithm will eventually bless me with videos that capture the bi husband energy vibe.

Until then, I’m going back to writing about things I know more about, like buttstuff, massage porn - and sooner or later, getting fucked by my husband’s balls.

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If you liked this article, you should totally check out the Weird, Stupid Little Turn-Ons (Hair Ties, Cameltoes, and Emotionally Unavailable Women) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!