How to Make Arousal Oils Work for You
Get ready for a horny good time
I was hoping for a miracle.
My sex drive had been on a steady decline for months. And I was starting to worry it would never pick back up.
I didn’t want to give up on sex. It was one of the things that made my life so much more enjoyable.
Even worse was losing my desire for sex. It was like a part of my personality was missing - I could barely recognize myself anymore.
And being horny is one of the best feelings in the world. Almost nothing compares to it - none of my other good feelings could ever take its place.
So, I vowed to do everything I could to get my mojo back.
I started with the basics. Date nights with my husband. Deep conversations with him about how I was feeling. Taking long bubble baths so I could get rid of all my pent up stress before I met him in the bedroom.
When that didn’t work, I started using stronger stuff.
I sat my ass down to watch some proper porn scenes - the kind with taboo storylines and plenty of filthy fucking.
I tried every natural supplement that was supposed to get my blood flowing to all the right places.
And I bought some arousal oils.
I had always been intrigued by those. Ever since I heard about them, I had this fantasy of dabbing some on my clit and getting so turned on that it basically turns me into a sex puppet. Just a deliriously horny girl who does every dirty thing she’s asked to do - and absolutely loves it.
My ambitions were much more modest now.
If arousal oils gave me the urge to have sex, great. If they made me as dirty as my imagination is, even better. But I’d be over the damn moon even if all they did was put me in the mood to masturbate.
I tried not to get my hopes up, though. Not even for a little self-love.
Because arousal oils always seemed like a novelty product. Something you see at a sex shop next to the glow in the dark condoms and the anal numbing cream.
For all I knew, they were just sexual placebos. And if there’s one thing I learned from popping all those natural supplements, it’s that horny placebos don’t do much for me.
And when I looked up other people’s experiences with them, I found a lot of mixed feedback. Some people got really turned on using them. Others just got a tingly clit and not much else.
After trying almost a dozen arousal oils myself, I can say that my experience was exactly the same. Using arousal oils was hit or miss at first.
Sometimes, they helped me get in the mood and get some action. Other times, they felt kind of nice but didn’t actually lead to anything more.
But now it’s all hits and no misses. Because I’ve figured out what it takes to make them work - and what went wrong when they were disappointing.
So if you’re curious about arousal oils, this is what you need to do to make sure you have a sexy good time with them.
Get the Right Kind
Every arousal oil, gel, balm, or whatever basically works the same way. Dab a little bit of it on your clit, wait a few moments, and you’ll start to feel something.
But exactly what you’re going to feel will depend on the active ingredients in the arousal product you’re using.
There are cooling ones, warming ones, and some that have more of a buzzy sensation.
They can make your clit tingle, make it throb, or make it pulse.
There are flavored ones, like the Exsens Rasperry Mint. Those are really handy if you’re hoping to get your pussy eaten - and who isn’t?
Almost all of them are meant to be used on your clit, but I’ve tried one that gets the blood flowing to your G-spot instead and it still showed me a really good time.
They all work, so it’s really a matter of personal preference. If you think the cooling sensation might feel a bit weird, look for one like On Ultra that has a warming effect. If you’re curious about what the buzzy ones are like, get one that calls itself a liquid vibrator.
I’ve got my favorites, but I honestly like every single type. As long as it does something stimulating to my clit, I’m a happy camper.
Don’t Overdo It
Arousal oils are really simple, so you don’t usually get a whole lot of instructions with these things. Especially if you’re like me and you tend to throw out the box almost as soon as you open it.
You’re mostly left on your own. It’s just you, your clit, and some stuff you’re supposed to put on it.
And if you bought arousal oil because it’s been a hot minute since you’ve felt super horny, you’re going to be tempted to use a little extra. You know, to really get things going.
Don’t do it, though.
I made that mistake the first time I tried it. I put a generous amount of oil on my fingertip, rubbed it in, and I immediately jumped into the shower.
I’m no stranger to blasting my pussy with the showerhead. But this time, I wasn’t trying to get off - I was doing it because my clit felt like it was on fire.
I washed off the stuff as best as I could, let my pussy recover from the ordeal, and learned my lesson.
The active ingredients in these things are no joke, so you should use as little as you can at first. Just one tiny drop or one little dab.
If you want to experiment with more eventually, you can definitely do that. But your clit’s a super sensitive spot, so you’ll never need more than a teensy amount to get an arousal product to do what it’s supposed to do.
Don’t Start From Nothing
In a perfect world, arousal oils would’ve cured my low sex drive. Any time I felt it dipping, I’d just be one drop away from unleashing naughty, horny Emma.
That’s not really how they work, though.
You need at least some interest in sex for it to get you there. You can’t use arousal oils to brute force yourself into getting turned on when you have zero sexual desire.
If you’re using an arousal product because your partner wants to fuck but you really aren’t feeling it, it probably won’t help.
If you’re trying to get horny when your partner’s doing something that actively turns you off, it won’t work for that either. Even the strongest arousal oil can’t override those feelings.
A good arousal oil is really fun and useful, but it’s not a miracle pussy drug. It can’t make you have sex you don’t want to have and it won’t cure your dead bedroom.
But if you have a tiny glimmer of sexy feelings, it can totally give them a boost and pump up your libido.
Use It When You’re Cockblocking Yourself
I’m pretty much my own worst enemy when it comes to my sex drive.
There are lots of things that can keep me from getting turned on. And some of them are out of my hands.
If I have to deal with anyone rude, it messes with my lady boner.
Same when I don’t get enough time with my husband, because I always end up wanting cuddles instead of cock.
And you know, there’s my hormonal cycle. On a bad day, it can wreck me beyond recognition.
But sometimes, the cockblocking is coming from inside the house.
I try to get my mind in the gutter, but I’m too scatterbrained and keep getting distracted.
I’m feeling kind of self-conscious and it’s making it hard for me to get in horny mode.
Or I’m talking myself out of it because my stupid brain won’t stop coming up with excuses why I shouldn’t be fucking.
When that happens, a dab of arousal oil can usually set me straight.
It keeps my mind on my clit, which keeps me thinking dirty thoughts. It makes me pay attention to the throbbing and tingling sensation between my thighs instead of the negative self-talk running through my head. It gets me turned on enough to realize that none of my little excuses make sense anymore.
So if you’re like me and you tend to get in your own way, you should try some. Because it’s a great way to remind yourself of what really matters - your clit and making it feel as good as it can feel.
Try It When You’re Already Turned On
If you’re buying arousal products it’s probably to get yourself in the mood. You might not even think to use them when you’re already horny and down to fuck.
But you totally should.
Even if you don’t need the help, it’s still really enjoyable.
Getting so much blood flowing to your clit that it feels like it’s throbbing is a great sensation.
You’ll be extra sensitive, too. And you can really feel the difference when you’re getting your pussy rubbed, licked, or pussyjobbed.
And it makes you really wet, which just makes everything so much more stimulating and pleasurable.
It’s still not enough to turn me into the super impressionable fuckdoll I want to be. But it gets me one step closer and helps me have an amazing time.
Use It All By Yourself
I’m really glad I didn’t have any solid plans the first time I tried arousal oil. I just wanted to see what would happen - and what happened was me desperately trying to scrub it off because I used too much.
That’s one reason you should use arousal products by yourself. You can test drive the way it feels without having it ruin the mood if you accidentally use too much or you find the cooling sensation kind of uncomfortable.
But you should also use it solo because you can pretty much guarantee a good experience.
For one thing, there’s zero pressure. You’re not trying to push yourself to get in the mood so you can fuck, you’re just seeing where the feelings take you - and it’s fine if they don’t take you very far.
It also helps you get turned on, makes you more sensitive, and gets you really wet - and all that is going to make your solo play really satisfying.
But even if you got some arousal oil specifically because you wanted to fuck more, it’s still a really good idea to use it on your own. Because it can give you the urge to touch yourself, play with your favorite sex toys, and get yourself off. And giving yourself plenty of self-love is a really important step to improving your sex drive.
It’s how you get in touch with your body and all the pleasure it can feel. It helps you explore all the things that really turn you on. You get to be naughty without having to feel self-conscious or like you need to perform.
Plus, you won’t be able to get it up for sex if you can’t even get in the mood to masturbate. So, start there.
Get Wetter, Get Hornier, and Have an Amazing Time
If I had to guess, I’d say there’s one big reason arousal oils don’t work for some people.
They expect them to do something they can’t.
They have no interest in sex and they’re hoping one dab on the clit is going to make them hungry for an hour-long fuck session. And it won’t.
They’re hoping to get so horny it unlocks something new in them. Like, it’ll turn them into a total buttslut or an eager cocksucking queen. But nope, they still just want the usual - even if they want it a little more.
And the big one - they’re doing it for their partner, not themselves. But there’s nothing out there that can make you want to have sex you don’t actually want.
If that’s what you’re hoping to get out of an arousal product, it’s bound to be disappointing.
But if you just want to give your horniness a jumpstart, it can definitely do that. It can get you wet and make your pussy more sensitive. It can help keep your mind on sex, too.
If that’s all you want out of arousal oil, you’re going to have a really good time with it. As long as you don’t overheat your clit by using one drop too many.
This post contains affiliate links to some great arousal products. If you click on one and treat yourself to anything from the site, I earn a small commission and you’ll have everything you need to enhance your sex drive! And be sure to use the code LOVEEMMA at checkout to save 15% from your entire order on Betty’s Toy Box!
If you liked this article, you should totally check out the Treat That Clit Right (Clit Balms, Liquid Vibrators, and the Right Way to Rub It) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!
