My Foolproof Method for a Hotter Sex Life
Flooding helps me have way more fun in bed
I don’t know about you, but my sexuality is kind of wonky.
Most of it works the way it should.
I’ve got a bunch of different turn-ons, kinks, and preferences that get me going. They’re also the things I like in bed. So, it all matches up nice and neat.
Like, I’m really hot for dirty talk, light bondage, and sex machines. And when I’m getting it on, I want all of that. Tie me down, turn on the thrusting, and call me a dirty girl for wanting to be fucked so hard.
It’s all perfectly straightforward.
But then there’s this whole other category that’s a bit more complicated. They’re all the sex acts that I find really appealing for one reason or another, but I have trouble actually doing them.
And because my sexual imagination has always been full of things I really want but struggle to do, I’ve tried just about everything to get myself in the mood to just go for it.
I’ve tried talking myself into doing them. But if it was that easy for me to reason with myself, my life would be a hell of a lot easier.
I tried just making myself go through with it to see if I’d get in the groove once I got started. That never got me very far and it always ended up being hella awkward.
There’s only one thing that actually worked. One thing that could make me genuinely eager to do things I could only fantasize about. And that’s flooding.
How I Learned to Blow for Fun
It all started with me giving blowjobs for all the wrong reasons.
I’ve got a wishy washy history with giving head.
At first, I was super nervous about sucking dick. I had no idea what I was doing and I was convinced I’d be terrible at it, so it was never all that fun for me.
If no one had ever asked me to blow them, I probably would’ve avoided it entirely.
But then I fell in love a few times, and that changes things. Whenever I found myself swooning for someone, I was very much down to take their dick in my mouth.
Except it wasn’t the cocksucking I was excited for - not exactly. It was more about the new relationship energy. When I really fall for someone, I want to do all sorts of stuff to impress them. I get a little obsessed about pleasing them.
And I do some of that pleasing on my knees.
I suck that dick as eagerly as I can. I pull out all my sluttiest blowjob moves. I go for as long as I can, because all I want is to be their good girl - and good girls don’t tap out early.
It was honestly a whole lot of fun. Maybe not the blowjobs themselves, but the way they made me feel. My head was swimming with powerful hormones, I felt loved and wanted, and pretending I was the kind of dirty girl I wanted to be was kind of fun too.
But there’s no way that kind of extremely horny puppydog love can last. After a while, the intensity cools off. The sex might still be great, but the energy is different. I don’t get dizzy just thinking about it and showing off isn’t thrilling anymore - it just feels like work.
When that happened with my husband, I didn’t lose interest in him. Not even close. But I definitely lost interest in giving head.
I didn’t go on a dick sucking strike or anything like that. It’s just that I wasn’t really getting anything out of it anymore.
I still did it once in a while. As a nice gesture, mostly. Mr. Austin’s a decent guy, so I’d slob on his knob to show my appreciation for him.
But my heart just wasn’t into it. And faking it felt silly. So after a while, I stopped entirely.
I can’t remember exactly how long it was before I sucked him off again. Quitting blowjobs isn’t the kind of thing you write down on your calendar. But we’re talking years.
And for all I know, I would’ve gone the rest of my life without having a dick pass through my lips again. But then I picked up a new hobby - I started writing erotica.
It was a whole lot of fun. I loved being able to do something creative. And it gave me an outlet for my lifelong obsession with everything related to sex.
Then I ran into a big problem.
I wrote all sorts of sex scenes, but I kept getting hung up on the blowjobs. I could write them out just fine, but that’s the problem - I didn’t want them to be fine, I wanted them to be steamy.
And that was a real struggle for me. Because I never actually got off on sucking cock, I wasn’t entirely sure how to describe it in a way that felt vivid and sexy. So all my first draft blowjobs felt rushed. Instead of being erotic, they read more like cocksucking play by plays.
My imagination wasn’t enough. So if I was going to get better at this, I’d have to do some actual research.
And that meant watching blowjob porn and plenty of it.
Not just any kind of porn, though. I specifically looked for amateurs blowing their partners and being all cute and sweet about it. I paid close attention to their playful techniques and how much they seemed to be enjoying themselves. I followed all the ones who looked genuinely turned on by slurping up a shaft.
Major bonus points if the guy getting sucked off talked dirty during it, too.
And it totally worked. I saw lots of moves that I could describe. I picked up on the way these girls used eye contact, soft little moans, and tongue work to really sell their enthusiasm. I got a better sense of how giving a blowjob could actually be a turn on.
Actually, it worked way better than I expected.
My research didn’t just help me write better blowjob scenes - it also slowly changed my entire attitude to giving head.
I started to see the appeal of giving a great blowjob. I admired how beautifully these girls would tease, lick, and suck a cock. I almost felt jealous of how eager they seemed to have one in their mouth.
Then I felt it too - a desire to have a dick between my lips.
For the very first time in my life, I was getting horny at the thought of giving head. I started actively fantasizing about sucking off my husband. I kept thinking of how hot it would be to hear him moan while I ran my tongue along the head of his cock.
I was seriously shocked. Like, who is she? I had completely given up on blowjobs - who was this girl who couldn’t wait to get on her knees and get her spit all over a shaft?
Then I remembered my intro psych classes and it all made sense.
There are a few psychological concepts that really stuck with me over the years. One of them is flooding.
It’s a treatment for phobias. The idea is that you deliberately expose yourself to the things you fear irrationally. And you keep flooding yourself with all that scary stimulus until you get used to it. Your brain panics, then realizes nothing bad happened, and eventually the fear goes away.
It’s not meant as a scientific approach to sucking dick, and I wasn’t afraid of cock. But still, flooding myself with all that blowjob porn clearly had a similar effect. It transformed my whole outlook on giving head.
I had basically given myself DIY exposure therapy. And now I wasn’t just watching ladies do amazing things with their mouths, I was getting horny at the thought of doing it too.
So the next time I was fooling around with Mr. Austin, I didn’t even have to think twice about it. I pushed him on his back, gave his cock a few strokes, and started licking and bobbing all over it.
I had sucked cock before, but never because I craved it. And that made such an incredible difference. It was exciting. It was arousing. I got so into it that I thought I might come just from having him stroke my hair while I was blowing him.
Now, I don’t give blowjobs to show off how dirty I can be. I don’t go down on Mr. Austin just because I want to be his good girl. I’m not dishing out thank-you blowjobs or licking flavored lube off the head of his cock because I didn’t get him a birthday present on time.
I’m actually doing it for the right reasons - because sometimes the thought of taking a cock in my mouth makes me wet.
Becoming the Submissive Buttslut I Want to Be
My little flooding experiment was a total accident. But it was such a huge success that I started using it to improve my sex life.
I haven’t done the same kind of heavy duty flooding that taught me to love blowjobs.
If I really wanted to, maybe I could flood myself into liking other things that don’t really do much for me. Like who knows, maybe I could learn to get turned on by sucking on balls or having my tits fucked.
But nah, I’m good. I’m fine sitting on the titty fucking sidelines. I can be curious and fascinated without actually participating.
Instead, I use flooding to get myself in the mood for things I’m already into.
Anal is the big one for me.
I’m extremely into buttstuff. Nothing turns me on quite like it, and very few things can make me come as hard as it does.
I’ve always wanted to do it more, but I only went for it occasionally. Even though it’s all over my fantasies, I’ve got to be in the right mindset to actually go for it. And the anal stars didn’t align all that often.
But now I know how to put myself in that mindset. So every once in a while, I’ll pregame some high-quality backdoor porn before getting down to business. Because if I watch enough cuties taking it in the ass, I know I’ll get in the mood for it too.
I use flooding to get rid of my sex guilt, too.
I tend to want to be really passive during sex. I’m kind of a pillow princess and I have all sorts of kinks that revolve around being pleasured and fucked.
I want my pussy massaged. I want to be pleasured, pampered, and praised. I want to get tied up and worked over with sex toys. I want to literally lie there and take it. Sometimes, I legit want to be a human sex doll.
All those things are so fucking hot to me.
But on some level, that feels wrong. I know it shouldn’t, but I get all up in my head and shame myself. Whenever I crave passive sex, my inner voice turns into a Negative Nellie that tells me I should want to give more pleasure than I take, that a decent wife would at least make sex feel fifty-fifty, that I’m basically fantasizing about starfishing - and no one should want to be a starfish.
I’ve worked really, really hard to quiet that voice.
I’ve tried to pinpoint what I find so hot and arousing about being a pillow princess, so I don’t have to feel like I’m being lazy and selfish.
I’ve reminded myself that my desires just are what they are and there’s nothing wrong with them.
I’ve talked about it with my husband and got all the reassurance a girl could need.
But still, nothing works as well as watching the right kind of porn.
Because if I can get aroused enough, I can short circuit the guilt. If the part of my brain that’s horny for getting my pussy pampered is louder than the part that’s being a bitch about it, I can just focus on how good it feels to be a subby little princess.
And the best way to get there is to flood myself. With enough sleep porn, massage porn, and free use videos where guys eat pussy like it’s a privilege, I can lean right into those fantasies and get off without shaming myself.
That might not be a huge dramatic transformation like learning to love blowjobs for the first time, but it feels like a big deal to me. It’s getting me closer to being the submissive anal doll I fantasize about becoming, and I can’t think of a better outcome than that.
Flood Your Way to Better Sex
Like I said, I don’t know if it’s normal to have this kind of complicated relationship to your own sexual desires. Maybe it’s just me. But if you’ve got that one thing that turns you on but you have trouble actually going through with it, you should definitely try flooding yourself.
If you really want to roleplay a schoolgirl scenario but you feel silly even trying it, there’s no shortage of plaid skirt porn that can help you get over those jitters.
If you wish you could say some really dirty stuff while getting fucked, find some ladies with filthy mouths and get inspired by them.
If you feel guilty asking your partner for a massage with a happy ending, watching videos of girls getting rubbed down to a finish can help you focus on how hot it can be to fool around without any dick stuff once in a while.
It’s not going to work with everything, though. At the very least, it has to be something you can see yourself loving.
I could flood myself into loving blowjobs, but I know there’s no amount of footjob porn that could get me in the mood to give one. I’m just way too weird about my feet for that.
I’ll flood myself with hot anal porn until I crave a good ass pounding. But if anal is a turnoff for you, bingewatching buttstuff isn’t going to change that.
But if there’s a sex act you’re mentally into and wish you could get emotionally excited for it, flooding could definitely work. Seeing people doing that thing and loving it, getting all sorts of pleasure from it, and being enthusiastic as hell about it - that’s your ticket to having the kind of sex you wish you were having.
When it works, it’s an absolute thrill.
Flipping that switch and unlocking a new sexual desire is an intense rush. Having one more thing you can throw into your sex life is really nice, too. And getting more comfortable with one of your kinks is like fulfilling a need you didn’t know you had.
But even if you don’t get there, you still get to watch tons of great smut and let your fantasies run wild.
It’s a win either way, so give it a shot. There’s a good chance you’ll end up with a more exciting sex life, so it’s totally worth it.
This post contains affiliate links to Peach Cake and Fantasy Massage. If you click on either of them and treat yourself to a membership, I earn a small commission and you’ll have access to all the porn you need for a great flooding session! And be sure to use the code LOVEEMMA when you sign up to get a great deal on your membership!
If you liked this article, you should totally check out the Sex Headaches (Postnut Pain, Paranoid Masturbation, and Healing Through Cuck Porn) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!
