4 Kinks I Wish I Didn’t Have
Getting off shouldn’t be this complicated
I’ll never, ever kink shame anyone. That’s just not how I roll.
There’s one exception, though.
I sort of kink shame myself. Pretty regularly, too.
I know there’s nothing wrong with any of the things that turn me on. My sexuality is just wired a certain way and that’s perfectly peachy.
In theory, I don’t have a problem with any of it.
In practice, it’s another story.
Sometimes it feels like the cards in my sex deck have been stacked against me. Because some of my kinks don’t just get me hot and bothered - they also make my sex life more complicated and frustrating.
A lot of them are simple, straightforward, and just plain fun.
Like how getting praised makes me so hot it can practically short circuit my brain.
Or my strong preference for guys with beards and tattoos. Ain’t nothing wrong with that whatsoever.
Same with my deep and highly sexual appreciation of women’s thighs. Women’s butts, too. And don’t forget the tits. Okay, so women in general - just so fucking hot.
My love of light bondage. My threesome fantasies. Even my voyeuristic tendencies are fine and dandy.
But there are four kinks in particular that give me trouble. And as much as they arouse and excite me, I sometimes wish I didn’t have to deal with them.
First Time Experiences
The first time I had sex, I felt like my entire world had opened up.
The sex probably wasn’t even that great, but it was more thrilling than anything I had ever tried before.
The pleasure was overwhelming. The sensations were mindblowing. And the best part might have been the sheer excitement of actually doing it - of actually fucking.
In those few minutes, I learned something about myself. I wasn’t just curious about sex. I wasn’t just into the idea of it. I wanted the real deal too. It wasn’t a crush - it was true love.
What I didn’t realize is that it also unlocked something bigger in me.
It wasn’t just the that thrilled me - it was first time sexual experiences.
I didn’t notice that right away, because almost everything I did was for the first time.
After the first fuck, there was the first guy who grabbed my body passionately. The first one who touched me tenderly. The first one who went down on me. The first blowjob I gave. The first orgasm from sex. The first time anal was so good it made me come. The first threesome - then the first foursome.
But after a couple of years experimenting and expanding my sexual horizons, there wasn’t much left for me to try.
There were no firsts anymore. Everything was my fourth, fifth, or hundredth time.
Sex was still pleasurable. Orgasms were still as good as they ever were. But the excitement was gone and I didn’t know how to get it back.
I never lost interest in sex as a subject, but I started to lose interest in actually doing it. And it took forever to realize that it might be because of my kink.
I don’t know why. The evidence was right in front of me the entire time.
Erotica and porn could turn me on, but nothing got me hot like a first time scenario. Throw the words “anal virgin” in a title and I’d practically get wet just reading it.
And I sort of wanted sex, but what I really craved was sexual novelty. I kept complaining that I’d done everything, so nothing felt like it was worth doing.
Over the last few years, my sex drive started to come back. But I’ll only get off the charts horny for new experiences.
After having phone sex for the first time, I practically got addicted to it. Trying bondage and control play with my husband temporarily kicked our sex life into high gear. Indulging my praise kink did that too.
But then the magic fades, and it fades way too quickly. That’s the curse of having a first time experience kink - it makes second times seem kind of dull. Like, it’s not even close.
That’s what makes it so fucking frustrating. I’ve had a taste of first sexual experiences, but I can’t replicate that thrill. All I can do is want it, crave it, and practically need it - but there’s nothing I can do about it.
Daddy Dom / little girl
Thankfully, my DDlg kink is a lot easier to indulge. It doesn’t have to be something I do for the first time - it just has to make me feel sort of like I’m seventeen again.
That can mean all sorts of things.
For me, it’s having sex when I’m dressed as cute as can be. It’s fucking while I’m surrounded by bright colors and soft, fluffy textures. It’s acting like a bit of a brat and keeping all the dirty action playful and upbeat.
It’s moaning “daddy” when I’m getting fucked real good. It’s getting the hots for anyone who has the hot mommy or sexy daddy vibe. It’s getting extremely turned on by anyone who can make sexual domination feel caring and nurturing.
It’s constantly being on the lookout for porn that leans into teen roleplay, has cutesy sets and costumes, or has a bit of both.
All of that is incredibly hot to me. And the more there’s a DDlg vibe to the way I have sex and masturbate, the more satisfied I feel.
I’ve got zero problems with it whatsoever.
Except for the fact that I’m highly aware that other people do.
Of all the kinks I have, DDlg has got to be the most misunderstood.
It’s a kink that can be about a few different things. For some, it’s about roleplaying or finding the right sexual dynamic with their partner. Some people are into DDlg as a form of age regression. And for a lot of people, it’s just an aesthetic that makes them feel cute and helps them get horny.
But there are still quite a lot of people who find it kind of sketchy. And some of them are super vocal about that.
That’s constantly on my mind whenever I talk about my DDlg kink. It makes me very careful with how I express it. And sometimes I even hold back from talking about it.
Four or five years ago, that wouldn’t have been a big deal. But since then I’ve become extremely public about my sexuality. My whole job is writing and talking about it.
I love that I get to do that openly. And that’s why it kind of sucks to have a kink that people look down on. It makes it harder to express myself, makes me feel more closed off, and that puts me in a weird place that I’d really rather not be in.
Age Gap
There’s an age gap kink that kind of comes packaged with the DDlg one. When you’re into the whole daddy dom thing, you end up spending a lot of time getting off to older guys banging younger women.
But that’s not what I’m talking about here.
I’m specifically talking about another age gap scenario that really turns me on.
It’s cougars. Middle aged women fucking hot guys in their twenties.
Mature women who get to experience the special thrill of fucking hot, energetic young guys. Women who know what they want - and teach less experienced dudes exactly how to give it to them. The drop dead sexy confidence of a woman who hits on someone half her age because she knows she deserves a bit of fun.
That’s hot as fuck all the way through. And I love every single thing about it.
Well, almost everything. Because it’s a kink I’ll only ever get to experience vicariously.
There’s a teensy age gap in my marriage, but it goes the other way. My husband’s a few years older than me. And even though he’s a pretty good fuck, a roll in the hay with him can’t turn me into a real deal cougar.
And yeah, I don’t have to limit myself to him. In theory, I could go out and seduce some stud who’s about ten years younger than me and has the kind of body that forces me to stare.
But honestly, I don’t ever see that happening. I don’t have the kind of MILF confidence it takes to even try to pull that off.
So I’ll keep getting the hots for age gap scenarios, but it’s going to be an armchair kink for me. One that I satisfy with high-quality MILF porn and shows like Mrs. Fletcher. And as captivating as those are, it’s kind of a bummer knowing I’ll probably never experience it firsthand.
Breaking Rules and Busting Taboos
I don’t really consider myself a bad girl. But holy hell do I ever love feeling like one.
I get seriously aroused by the idea of giving into temptation so hard that you do something you’re not supposed to. That your desires are so strong you throw every rule out the window.
It’s why family roleplay porn has always been a very reliable way for me to get off. It’s why the words “we shouldn’t be doing this” can make my clit tingle. It’s why the risk of getting caught really spices things up for me.
It’s also why I can’t fully trust myself.
Because i can get legitimately horny from breaking my own sexual rules.
I’ll put up some boundaries and I won’t tolerate anyone ignoring them. But you bet your ass I’ll try to talk myself into busting them down.
That’s why I had such a hard time moving from a fuckboi who kept playing with my feelings. Because every time I told myself not to contact him, not to flirt with him, and for heaven’s sake not to fuck him over the phone, I’d hold strong for a little bit - then I’d feel the irresistible temptation to break my own rules.
The thought of violating my own boundaries was so arousing. The only thing I wanted to do was whatever I wasn’t supposed to.
And that’s some dangerous shit. I kept getting hurt over and over because it’s really hard to stop yourself when stopping yourself almost feels like foreplay.
Some of my other kinks are frustrating, but this one turns me into my own worst enemy. There’s just no winning when you get off on breaking your own rules.
I Love My Kinks - Most of the Time
I know I’ve been harsh on my kinks here, but I really can’t stay mad at them.
They turn me on like nothing else does. They’ve helped me hit peaks of arousal that I couldn’t reach without them. And I feel like I learned so much about myself by exploring what gets me off.
But man, what a struggle sometimes.
I know I’d have an easier time getting horny if I wasn’t so hooked on novelty. I’d probably have a way more active sex life if my sexual preferences weren’t so hard to satisfy. And I might let myself be a little more adventurous if I didn’t get so horny for making bad decisions.
But there’s no changing who I am. So, all I can do is embrace it and make the best of it.
And if it just means that I get to watch a whole lot of MILF porn, that really isn’t so bad.
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If you liked this article, you should totally check out the Embrace the Clussy (Sexy Clown Girls, Moaning Mimes, and Clown Porn) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!
