7 Ways to Give a Submissive Blowjob
How to be a subby little cocksucker (even if you don’t want to gag on it)
I sometimes feel a little out of place with other sexually submissive people.
I totally get why they love aggressive sex, hard smacks, and hard manhandling. I can see the appeal of getting roughed up and degraded. But because I’m into sensual submission, it’s a bit much for me.
I especially feel that way about blowjobs.
Giving head is an incredibly arousing thing to do as a submissive. It’s your time to shine and show your dominant partner exactly how hard you’re willing to work to please them and earn their praise.
It’s my opportunity to worship my husband’s cock with my mouth.
But the blowjobs I give are nothing like the ones I usually see in BDSM porn. There’s no gagging. No throat fucking. No face slapping.
I even skip through the blowjob scenes in vanilla porn if they get too gaggy.
What I love are blowjobs that are somewhere in the middle. The ones that don’t feel physically uncomfortable but that make me feel submissive.
A lot of the things that make me feel submissive while sucking cock are things my partner does.
It’s the dirty words and teasing praise he gives me when my mouth is on him. It’s the way he touches my face or rests his hand on the back of my head. It’s the gentle way he grips my hair when he’s really into the way I work my tongue.
But there are also things I do to make myself feel extra subby when I’m sucking cock. If you have submissive tendencies, doing these things can help you enjoy blowjobs even more.
Give Him Some Subby Dirty Talk
One of the easiest ways to be submissive when giving head is to give some subby dirty talk.
Taking his cock out of your mouth and saying the right words while you stroke it is a really good way to excite your dominant partner.
Plus, it gives your jaw a break, which can help you go longer.
What kind of dirty talk you use will depend on what kind of submission comes more naturally to you.
You can degrade yourself by saying things like “Am I being a good little slut?” or “I love it when you use my mouth.”
If you’re more into praise, you can also ask him if you’re doing a good job. It’s simple and subtle, but it puts him in the power position and makes you feel like you’re working to earn his approval.
If you’re more of a little or a middle, you can engage in some more DDlg style talk. Ask him if your mouth feels good with a pouty, naive expression on your face. Tell him you love having daddy’s cock in your mouth.
And you can just plain beg for it. Ask for permission to go down on him. Ask him if you can please suck him off. When you’re blowing him, plead for him not to come yet because you want to suck him off even longer.
Dirty talk doesn’t come naturally to every submissive. I still have a really hard time with it. But if you can pull it off, you can use it to create the dynamic that really turns you on.
Ask For Instructions
This is a big one for me because I have experience gap fantasies. I don’t just like being submissive or giving up control. I also like pretending that I’m naive and need to be taught how to do things.
You don’t have to fantasize that you’re a virgin to use this move, though. All you have to do is ask for instructions and follow them.
Tell him to walk you through the blowjob, step by step.
Ask him if you should use your tongue or take his cock in your mouth.
Ask if he wants you to focus on the head of his cock or see how deep you can take him.
Tell him to describe the best blowjob he’s ever had and then do your best to replicate every detail from it.
It turns the blowjob into a game, which makes it extra playful. But it also gives him control over your actions, which can help put you in a very subby place.
Get Cuffed
The most recent blowjob I gave was a bit of a tricky one because I was cuffed for the entire duration.
I couldn’t put my hands to my side, use them to brace my body, or adjust myself. I jerked my husband off with both hands because it was hard to stroke with just one in a way that wasn’t awkward.
I was in a compromised position - and I fucking loved it.
Being handcuffed can make a blowjob more exciting, but so can other kinds of restraints.
Giving a blowjob with your hands tied behind your back means you have to do what you can with just your mouth.
Sucking dick while your wrists are strapped to the bedposts works really well too. That’s a position that’s especially helpless. You have to rely on your partner positioning themselves so that you can reach their cock with your mouth. It’s not the easiest way to suck someone off, but it can be extremely satisfying.
Bondage instantly makes me feel submissive. The less I can move, the less control I have over the situation — the more trust and control I’m giving over to my partner.
Bound blowjobs are some of the hardest and most difficult I’ve ever given. But they also made me feel like I was submitting thoroughly and completely.
Wear a Blindfold
Two years ago, my husband slipped a blindfold over my eyes for the first time in ages and it woke something up inside me.
As soon as the blindfold was on, I didn’t just lose the ability to see - I also lost myself in the moment.
I fell into subspace. I was drunk on euphoria and all I wanted to do was lie there and let him do whatever he wanted to me.
Unfortunately, wearing a blindfold hasn’t had such a powerful effect since that first night. But it still manages to put me in a different and very arousing headspace.
There’s an element of trust in letting someone blindfold you. Knowing that I’m completely comfortable not being able to see around my partner makes me feel like I’m safe and well taken care of.
And that’s an important part of me submitting to him - or anyone else for that matter.
A blindfolded blowjob is more or less the same as a regular blowjob. You’re still using all the same moves, feeling your way around with your lips and tongue, and sucking with enthusiasm.
I don’t usually open my eyes while giving head, so not being able to see doesn’t change anything about the way I do it.
Psychologically, though, it makes all the difference. Being blindfolded while I suck cock makes me feel like a naughty girl. It creates a dynamic where he has more control than I do. And it puts me in a more subservient headspace, which is precisely where I want to be.
Get Completely Naked
Being vulnerable is one of the things that makes me feel most submissive. Because showing, sharing, and giving more of myself to someone is in a way an exchange of power.
And as a shy girl, I feel most vulnerable when I’m exposed.
Stripping completely naked helps me feel subby. The more I feel like I’m on display, the less I feel like I’m the one in control.
When I’m fully nude or even wearing lingerie, I don’t get to be reserved. I don’t get to be inhibited. He can look at me and see whatever he wants to see.
If you want to feel even more submissive, let him undress you before you suck him off.
Or take your clothes off for him while he watches you and looks over every part of your body.
Present your body like it’s a gift for him and then drop to your knees to give him the best blowjob you can give.
Keep Him in a Power Position
Submission isn’t so much a thing you do - it’s more like a dynamic you create. It’s how you feel in relation to your partner - or whoever has the privilege of dominating you.
One way to make a blowjob feel submissive is to do it in a way that puts your partner in a power position.
There are just some ways of placing your body in relation to his that will make him seem and feel more dominant - which is going to make both you enjoy the blowjob even more.
The easiest way is for him to stand while you’re on your knees. He towers over you in a power pose, which really conveys his dominance. And you can complete the picture by looking up at him with your best doe eyes while your mouth is stuffed with his cock.
Another one I really like is to kneel between his legs while he’s seated at the edge of the bed. When you suck him off that way, you’re in a subservient position and one it makes it easier for him to touch you, grab your hair, or grip your shoulder while you go to work.
To add even more subbiness to it, you can keep your hands behind your back. That way, it won’t just feel like you’re sucking him submissively - it will also feel like he’s using your mouth.
Get Your Face Fucked Gently
I’m not into gagging during a blowjob. Personally, it’s a big turn-off for me.
But I still like getting facefucked.
There’s something about parting your lips, letting your jaw go slack, and having your partner thrust into your mouth that just feels so submissive. It’s like he wants your mouth so badly, he’ll gladly take over and do all the work to fuck it.
And that’s something you can do even if you don’t like it rough.
If you trust your partner enough and you feel comfortable doing it, you can just communicate what you want and let them take over.
I’ve been sucking the same cock for years. My partner is really familiar with how deep I can take it and what my limits are. When I ask him to fuck my mouth, he knows to keep it shallow.
And I know he’ll never, ever push my head down. So I can just relax, let go, and feel his cock sliding across my tongue.
If you want to be on the safe side, you can ask him to fuck your mouth with only the head of his cock.
And to be even more careful, you can wrap your hand around the shaft of your partner’s cock. That way, your fingers will create a buffer that keeps him from going too far and hitting the back of your throat.
Facefucking in porn almost ruined it completely for me. But getting my mouth fucked by someone I love and trust taught me just how good and subby it can make me feel.
Get in the Right Mindset
There are some other things you might consider submissive that you can do while you’re on your knees for him.
Swallowing might be one of them.
If you can deepthroat, that could be what makes a blowjob feel subby for you.
Maybe the very fact that you’re taking his dick in your mouth is enough to make you feel like you’re giving yourself over to him.
No matter how you decide to suck his cock, giving a submissive blowjob is really about the attitude you take on, the way you feel about your partner, and the way he treats you.
If you feel like a good girl for getting on your knees and opening your mouth, that’s what really counts.
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And if you liked this article, you should totally check out the The One With All the Blowjobs (From Our First to Emma’s Fantasy Blowjob) episode of my podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!
