How to Edge a Woman
Give her the best orgasm of her life
I’m on the verge of an orgasm. It’s so close I can practically taste it.
I moan loudly from somewhere deep inside my throat. His fingers are working my clit perfectly. My pleasure is building quickly.
I let out a few swear words. I shout “yes” so often I sound like even more of a people pleaser than I am.
And just when I’m about to come, he pulls his fingers away.
It’s too soon to get me over the edge, but something still happens. I feel subtle shakes and spasms coursing through every single one of my muscles. My body contorts like a cat stretching.
But it’s not an orgasm. It’s not any kind of pleasure at all.
I ball my hands into fists and softly pound them on the mattress like I’m throwing a silent tantrum.
It’s easy to explain what’s happening. I’m getting edged. But it’s the feeling I have a hard time describing. It doesn’t feel good, exactly. And yet, I fucking love it.
I can enjoy it because I know we’re not done. That close call leaves me wanting more, feeling desperate for stimulation. But because I know I’m going to get it, it doesn’t disappoint me - it just slows things down.
The frustration is also deliberate. I know it’s building to a bigger goal, an orgasm so strong that I won’t regret the discomfort it took to get there - not even a little.
My husband will do this to me several times. Depending on his mood and how I respond, he might get me to the edge and deny my orgasm three or four times - or he might prolong it and give me a dozen of these frustrations.
Edging has practically become an essential part of our sex life. He’ll do it to me almost every single time we fuck.
And honestly, I don’t know why most people don’t do this more.
It’s a sexual secret weapon but it’s treated more like a well-kept secret. Kinky people who engage in power play have all clued in to how good it can be. But most people have sex without any edging whatsoever.
They’re totally missing out.
I understand why it’s uncommon. Edging isn’t exactly the most obvious sex move. Temporarily refusing to give your partner an orgasm doesn’t sound like the kind of thing that would make you seem like a sex god.
But trust me when I say that it definitely can.
That’s because edging her is going to do three things, and all of them will drive her wild.
First, it’s going to prolong her pleasure. As good as an orgasm feels, it’s even better when it doesn’t come on too quickly.
Edging means that she gets to spend more time enjoying the way your fingers, your tongue, your cock, or a really good vibrator feels. And that’s a really, really good thing.
It’s also going to fire up her arousal. Even if you think you’ve seen your lady at her horniest, you can probably top it by edging her a few times.
Being edged can make me deliriously turned on. It’s like my desire to get and give more pleasure takes over and it’s the only thing on my mind. And it feels fucking incredible.
And it makes me dirty as hell. When I’ve been edged properly, I start pulling out the porn sex positions. It makes me into a genuine knob slob. It quiets down my inhibitions. If you want to see just how naughty she can get, bring her to the verge of a few orgasms and find out.
The best part of edging, though, is the orgasm. The prolonged pleasure is great, but it’s the payoff at the end that really makes it worth it.
Post-edging orgasms are some of the most intense I’ve experienced. They’re easier to achieve, they’re stronger, and they last longer.
Being edged makes it feel like my hormones are building and building up. When I finally get to come, it feels like all those pent up chemicals get released in a single flood.
So, if you want to make her come really fucking hard, take the time to edge her first.
Here’s how you can do that.
Don’t Be Sneaky About It
First things first, make sure she’s actually aware that you’re edging her.
Being edged can be really fucking hot. But if she doesn’t know it’s happening, she might just think you’re having trouble making her come.
You can talk about it in advance and make a plan to edge her.
When you’re in the middle of the action, you can ask her if she wants to be edged.
Because edging is something we do very regularly, my husband likes to tell me “You don’t get to come yet” just before he pulls away.
It doesn’t really matter how you do it. As long as she knows that you’re deliberately denying her orgasm, she can rest assured that after all the frustration, after all the physical ups and downs, you’re going to make her come and make her come really hard.
Use the Right Technique
The basic method behind edging is really simple. Bring her really close to an orgasm and then stop stimulating her before she actually gets to come.
But how you bring her there is going to make a difference.
Because you want to bring her close to an orgasm and then get her back there again (ideally multiple times), you need to use a technique that can get her off reliably and fairly quickly. If she has a hard time coming from penetrative play, then rubbing her G-spot won’t be the best way to edge her.
Edging is easiest to pull off with your fingers because you have a lot of control over them. Rub her clit in whatever way gets her off - I personally prefer slow, soft, circular strokes. When she’s about to come, all you have to do is take your fingers off her pussy and watch her squirm.
You can edge her with your mouth, too. But because your face is between her thighs, it’s a bit more difficult to notice when she’s at the edge and you need to pull away.
If she can come from penetration, you can also edge her with your cock. That’s one’s a bit tricky too because pulling your cock out of her is a bit harder to do than moving your fingers away. And you also have to be able to bring her close to orgasm a few times without blowing your load before you finish her off.
If it takes her forever to get an orgasm when you’re rubbing or licking her clit, then edge her with a vibrator that can make her come within a few minutes. And if she doesn’t have one, shop for one together because every lady should have a toy that can get her off like that.
Use Multiple Types of Stimulation
Another way to edge her is to keep stimulating her in different ways.
Instead of rubbing her clit, stopping when she’s about to hit her climax, and then rubbing her clit some more, you can move to another part or her body and stimulate it instead.
You could pull away from her clit and then finger her G-spot until she’s close and move back to her clit again. If she can come from nipple play, you can give her pussy a break and tug and lick her tits until she almost hits her peak.
Edging her in a few different ways is a good way to draw out the session and make it last longer. It gives her clit a break and lets it come down from all the stimulation before you go back and pleasure it again.
Learn Her Cues
Your fingering skills are going to come in really handy when you’re edging your lady. But being attentive is even more important.
Timing is essential and you’re working with a very small window. If you pull away too soon, she won’t hit that near-orgasmic peak. If you wait just a few seconds too long, you’ll either make her come or give her a ruined orgasm, which I find weaker and less satisfying.
You have to pinpoint that exact moment when she’s on the verge - where just a few more strokes on her clit are going to bring her over the edge.
And it’s going to look different for every woman, so you need to figure out what her tell-tale signs are.
Listen to the sound of her breathing. When it gets deeper and faster, you know she’s getting close. And if she seems like she momentarily stopped breathing entirely, like she’s holding her breath involuntarily, there’s a good chance that’s the moment right before she comes.
Watch her hands. If she’s like me, she’ll be holding on to a handful of the sheet. When her grip tightens, that’s because she’s losing control of her body and is about to hit her climax.
If she whispers “don’t stop” or shouts “I’m gonna come,” then you know she’s getting close. But you’ll probably have to wait until she’s so overcome with pleasure that she can’t let any words out before pulling away.
Sometimes, it’s all in her face. It’s the moment when she stops trying to be cute and loses all her composure. It’s when she scrunches her face like every single muscle in it is straining. Or when her mouth hangs open because she’s forgotten every single thing except how good it feels to be that close to a climax.
That’s when you have to pull away.
Exactly how it looks is going to be different for everyone, but if you pay enough attention, you’ll start to learn all of her cues.
Take a Dominant Attitude
Remind yourself that you’re the one who’s in charge. While you’re edging her, you have complete control over her orgasm.
For most women, that kind of attitude is part of the fun. She’s likely to get extra turned on if you let your dominant side out.
Use your words. Talk dirty to her. Tell her she doesn’t get to come until you’re ready to let her come. When she’s squirming in frustration after you pull your fingers off her clit, praise her for being patient. Tell her she’s a good girl and that she’ll earn that huge orgasm soon enough.
The extra arousal and stronger orgasms are amazing enough on their own. But if you really want to drive her wild, take the lead and help her feel gently submissive.
Make It Into a Game
I consider edging to be playful on its own. But if you want to make it really exciting, you can turn it into a game.
Challenge her to do something and don’t let her come until she accomplishes it.
I had one of the best orgasms of my life when my husband told me he wouldn’t finish me off unless I stayed completely quiet. As soon as I made a sound, he stopped stimulating me.
I was pretty good at it. I focused on my breathing. I bit my lip. I put my hand over my mouth a few times. But I managed to stay quiet.
Until he got me to the edge of coming. That’s when the moans, the dirty words, and all the other sounds I normally make when I’m getting fingered and eaten out came out involuntarily.
And each time they did, he pulled away and edged me. Well, technically since I was the one who couldn’t keep quiet, I was edging myself.
It was absolutely fucking incredible. Having to earn my orgasm made me feel extra submissive. Failing to earn it prolonged the edging. Doing my best to keep quiet helped me focus all of my attention on the pleasure and how I reacted to it.
When I finally managed to keep myself quiet, I came so fucking hard I could barely believe it was happening.
If you want to spice up your edging sessions, I can’t recommend this enough.
Make Her Feel Horny, Dirty, and Deeply Satisfied
You’ll never have better sex than the kind you’ll have when her arousal is off the charts.
If you edge her to the point where she’s so fucking turned on she feels like she could do anything, you’ll both have a night you’ll always remember.
She’ll let go, be extra enthusiastic, and you’ll get to fuck her at her best.
It will also make her desire you more, even after you’re done fucking. She’s going to think about that post-edging orgasm for a long time, and she’s going to be eager for a repeat performance.
And she is definitely going to notice the amount of attentiveness and skill involved in edging her successfully. A guy who is great with his hands and pays close attention to you is a massive turn-on for most women.
If you really want to impress her, give up your instinct to make her come as quickly as you can. Take your time, bring her to the edge over and over again, and then give her the kind of orgasm that will leave her begging for more.
Edging works especially well with a great wand toy. I personally recommend the Pillow Talk Sultry - it’s highly stimulating and easy to turn off, which makes it perfect for edging. That’s an affiliate link. If you click on it and treat yourself to anything from the site, I earn a small commission and you’ll be supporting my work. Use the code LOVEEMMA at checkout to save 15% on your entire order!
If you liked this article, you’ll love the Sensual Domination (Praise, Pampering, and Paddles) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!
