Want to Spend Christmas Watching Porn With Me?
I’ve got 3 cozy and porny podcast episodes for you
Note: This post contains nudity (you’re welcome!)
Every December, I turn kind of basic.
I can’t help it. Christmas is just way too appealing to me.
For three weeks, I want my whole life to be about tree ornaments and hot chocolate.
I could spend my entire day wrapped up in sweaters and blankets, watching the snow slowly falling to the ground.
I bake a bunch of cookies, even though I never bake cookies.
Most of my time online is spent scrolling so I can see even more festive things. Fully decorated trees. Living rooms decked in red and green. Holiday meals taking over kitchen tables. Cute people in cute sweaters and thick socks.
I’m a simple gal, really. Give me some bright twinkly lights and a few warm and fuzzy things and I’m happy.
But I’m not just a sucker for a Christmas vibe. I’m also the host of a sex podcast, which means I have to think of some holiday themed content every year.
And honestly, there’s not a whole lot to work with.
Christmas is a super sexy time to me. I celebrate Sexmas like every good sex nut should. But there’s just not much to talk about.
Trying to come up with Christmas sex positions would be a real stretch. Holiday roleplay ideas would only take me so far. Fucking by the Christmas tree is incredibly hot and I’m absolutely down for it - I just don’t think I could discuss it for 45 minutes.
Instead, I go straight to porn.
I’m a very vocal appreciator of Christmas porn. All the reasons I love the holiday are the same reasons it makes amazing smut - the gorgeous aesthetic, the cozy and chill vibe, the playful sweetness.
And it also happens to be perfect material for a podcast episode.
These are three of the porn films that me, my co-host Mr. Austin, and our listeners enjoyed together for some hot seasonal fun. And we’re more than happy to have you join us too, if you’d like.
An Anal Christmas Classic
I was excited to watch How the Grinch Gaped Christmas as soon as I saw the title.
It’s a Burning Angel film, so I knew it would be fun, silly, and have some great sex.
Best of all, it would be perfect for our holiday episode.
And I wasn’t disappointed in the least.
It’s a filthy adaptation, with Joanna Angel playing a grumpy Grinch who is determined to ruin Christmas for the Whores in Whoresville.
There’s only one problem. The Whores are too horny and optimistic to let anything spoil their holiday.
The Grinch kidnaps carollers and ties them up. She steals all the presents from another pair of Whores. And she tries to make sure one of the Whores has such a lonely Christmas that he’ll spiral into drug addiction.
Image from Burning Angel
But nope. None of it works. There’s no bummer the Whores can’t fix without fucking.
And we get to watch all that cheerful, enthusiastic, and athletic sex.
I don’t think I’m spoiling anything by letting you know that the Grinch ends up being won over by all the action she sees and sets out to have some sex of her own.
That’s the real climax of the movie - the Grinch in all her green body paint getting fucked in the ass by Small Hands.
Image from Burning Angel
As certified anal fans, it gave us plenty to talk about - and a whole lot to get aroused about.
Not So Festive Horror Porn
Last year, we celebrated Christmas by watching some porn on the podcast. Except we didn’t watch Christmas porn - not exactly.
See, I married a dork. And to him, Christmas isn’t just about yule logs and tinsel or whatever. It’s also about ghost stories.
That’s an old tradition that he likes to revive every holiday. So, last year on the podcast we celebrated by watching a horror porn scene.
We picked one called Within, from Pure Taboo’s Under the Bed series.
The scene follows Emily Willis and Emma Hix who decide to have a little getaway together. This is a porn scene with two hot girls in a secluded house - so obviously, they end up fucking.
Image from Pure Taboo / Under the Bed
And it’s just beautiful. The scene is darkly lit with a cool bluish hue that makes it feel like night - but it’s clearly shot so you never miss any of the action.
It’s action you don’t want to miss, either. The pussy licking is amazing - the kind that makes you wish you could have their tongues on you.
You almost want to be in the scene - except for the fact that Michael Vegas is there too.
Nothing wrong with Michael Vegas, mind you. He’s a good looking guy who can fuck very well.
It’s just that he’s here to supply the horror part of this horror porn.
Image from Pure Taboo / Under the Bed
He wanders around, sneaking, and stalking. And when he shows up in the scene, that’s when the color scheme turns from blue to red.
There’s murder and blood. There’s even more eager pussy eating. There’s not one but two plot twists - and I love me a plot twist.
Unless you count the the bloody reds, the cozy secluded home, and the way everyone is generous with their tongues, Within isn’t Christmas porn. But it was still a good way to kick off our little holiday break.
Who Wouldn’t Want a Magical Carrot Dick?
Watching How the Grinch Gaped Christmas was so incredibly fun that we were jonesing to do more.
So, we decided to kickstart a new side project - The Pillow Talk Film Society.
It’s sort of a combination podcast and commentary track. We watch something filthy and react to it in real time. That way, our listeners can watch the same smutty scene and hear us comment on it.
Basically, it’s an invitation for our Patreon subscribers to literally watch porn with us.
And for our very first edition, we watched Woodrocket’s Frosty the Snowjob.
It’s the heartwarming story of a mischievous sex shop worker who learns about all the seasonal wares they’ll be selling - including a magical carrot that can bring inanimate objects to life.
Screenshot by author
From there, we knew the gist of it.
She’s going to stick the carrot on Frosty - but not on his face.
He’ll come to life and she’s going to take the carrot in as many ways as they can fit in a 24 minute scene.
Maybe he’ll blast her with a load of eggnog. Maybe they’ll find some other way to put a climax on the scene. Who knows.
Well, we were only half right.
She does stick the carrot on Frosty, he does come to life, and he she absolutely pleasures his orange dick.
But she also gets to fuck a very physically fit Santa.
Oh, and the Frosty just so happens to be hella creepy. You still want to see her take his carrot, though, so it gives you all sorts of mixed feelings.
It ends with come instead of eggnog. Santa’s cock gets more action than Frosty’s magical carrot. And April O’Neil is so incredibly fucking cute - in and out of her earmuffs and red dress.
I’m still not sure what a snowjob is. But if that’s what was happening in this scene, I’m very much into it.
One More Year Without Christmas Porn
I’m kind of bummed out that the holidays are almost over.
Soon, people are going to start taking down their decorations. I’ll be too busy to bake cookies. Porn studios are going to stop releasing new holiday scenes.
And I’m going to have to work a little harder to come up with fresh ideas for podcast episodes.
As much as I want to keep the tree up until March, I’ll put all the festive stuff away too.
But it’s nice to know that I can enjoy these scenes whenever I want to. If I’m missing Christmas in the middle of July, all I have to do is load a few holiday scenes and watch the Grinch get gaped again.
This post contains affiliate links to Burning Angel and Under the Bed. If you click on one and treat yourself to a membership, I earn a small commission and you’ll be getting access to those studios and everything else on Adult Time! And be sure to use my affiliate link or the code LOVEEMMA to get a very good holiday discount when you sign up!
If you liked this article, you should totally check out the How the Grinch Gaped Christmas (Cowgirl Anal, Whoresville, and the Porn Baldwin Brother) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!
