What Does the "Fuck Now" Button Do on Pornhub Anyway?

What does the “Fuck Now” button do anyway?

If you poke around Pornhub a bit, you’ll find a few neat little things you can click on.

There’s the speed settings, which lets you watch a video at twice the speed.

I honestly have no clue who that’s for. But if you’ve ever wondered what it would look like for Superman to fuck Lois Lane like a speeding bullet, that’s one way to find out.

There are Shorties, which is kind of like TikTok but with a lot of pussy and blowjobs.

There’s a whole section for GIFs in case you happen to miss Tumblr porn.

And if you scroll all the way to the bottom, you can find the link that takes you to the version of Pornhub designed to be more accessible to people who are visually impaired. Which is really neat.

But there’s one link I’ve never clicked on, even though I see it every time I go to Orange YouTube.

It’s on the front page, right under the search bar.

The “Fuck Now” button.

😬 (Screenshot by author)

It looks innocent enough. It’s classy and subtle - it doesn’t stand out the way those ADHD Brazzers ads do and it doesn’t look quite as sketchy as the banners telling me there are desperate MILFs in my area.

But that almost makes it seem more sinister.

A “Fuck Now” button is exactly the kind of thing you’re not supposed to click on. Not unless you want to download a virus or pay someone in crypto to find you a lady who will marry you for a green card.

So even though I sometimes go to Pornhub specifically because I’m in the mood to fuck now, I’ve never had the courage to actually click.

Until today.

Because I’m sure you’ve wondered about it too. So, one of us really should check it out. And because I’ve got this blog, I guess it might as well be me.

So here’s what happens when you go against your better judgment and click that sketchy little button.

Where’s All the Fucking?

Alright, I’ll tell you right now that this was kind of a let down. Not much happens when you finally decide you’re ready to Fuck Now.

Horny sorority girls don’t show up at your door.

A girl in a “Fuck Me” sash doesn’t pop out of a giant cake.

It doesn’t even open up a chat window where you can talk to one of those local desperate MILFs we keep hearing about.

Instead, you get fake Instagram.

At least, I think that’s what it’s meant to look like.

We’re not in Orange Kansas anymore (Screenshot by author)

The URL is bend-me-over.com and usually I’d be very eager to type an address like that into my browser. But this is just giving me some sketchy vibes.

For one thing, it’s not actually a landing page with lots of different elements on it. It’s made to look like one, but the whole entire screen is just one big clickable link. One that you’d assume would take you deeper into the Bend-Me-Over rabbit hole.

And you’re shown exactly one fake Instagram post to tempt you in.

Finally, someone who notices the passion in my eyes! (Screenshot by author)

I imagine this is where most sensible people turn around. I personally wanted to hit the back button until I found my way back to the comfort of the chunky buttons and big text of the more accessible side of Pornhub.

But I couldn’t call this research unless I went all the way.

So, I clicked.

Instead of more Bend-Me-Over, it took me to a site called OneNightFriend.

I suck at getting Likes on Twitter, so looks like I won’t be having much sex after all (Screenshot by author)

It definitely looked like I was getting closer to the Fuck Now experience - this page at least promised to help me hook up.

But that’s where I stopped my little excursion into the dark side of the internet. Because you can’t keep messing around on OneNightFriend without typing some stuff into the site.

And look, I’m not saying giving them my personal information would put me at risk of having my identity stolen. It’s just that I don’t like taking chances with that kind of thing.

Even if it means I don’t get to fuck now.

Thanks, But No Thanks

So now I finally know what lies behind the Fuck Now button.

And yeah, I’m good.

As much as I love the idea of a girl wearing barely anything telling me I’ve got passion in my eyes, I’ll keep getting my jollies the old fashioned way.

Plus, there are so many other things you can click on the front page of Pornhub.

In fact, only a moment ago I saw a good looking girl in bunny ears with her tits out. There was a cute redhead who could bend her legs all the way behind her shoulders. Oh, and a confident MILF surrounded by more dicks than I bothered to count.

There’s just no reason to click the Fuck Now button. Not when all the good stuff is right underneath it.

This post contains affiliate links to Brazzers. If you click on one and treat yourself to a membership, I earn a small commission and you’ll be enjoying some of the bounciest porn you’ve ever seen!

If you liked this article, you should totally check out the How to Shoot Ropes (Big Loads, Big Supplements, and Big Simping) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!