My Husband's Delayed Ejaculation Made Me Sexually Insecure
This is what I did to overcome it
He warned me about that sex with him would be different.
It didn’t feel like a warning, though. It felt like a promise.
He tried to describe his delayed ejaculation but it hit my ears differently. To me, it sounded like a hot sex marathon that never has to stop. Fucking that never has to end before you want it to. And as many orgasms as I could handle.
Sign me the fuck up.
I was already excited about banging my future husband. Knowing he could go for hours made me even hornier for it.
What I didn’t know is that being with a delayed ejaculator is kind of like being with a guy who has a really thick cock. It sounds fun at first, but then it’s just trouble.
It did live up to the hype for a while.
Fucking his non-stop dick gave me my first penetrative orgasm. And I could count on having one every single time it was inside me.
I was full of new relationship hormones and it was fun to be with a guy I could stroke, suck, and fuck at my horny whims. He never got spent. He never had to take a break. His dick could take anything and keep going.
The only thing it couldn’t do was come.
I mean, it could. If I gave him enough time, he could jerk himself to a finish.
But that was it. I didn’t have the strength, speed, and stamina to make him come with my hands. He loved being in my mouth, but there was no risk of him ever unloading on my tongue. And my pussy always tapped out before he even got close.
Even my tight, barely ever fucked asshole wasn’t enough.
Having him in my ass was incredibly hot. It was so good that he gave me my first anal orgasm. I just couldn’t repay the favor.
I tried to make the best of it.
The sex was really fucking good. I was getting my mind blown on a regular basis. He gave me so much pleasure, I started getting a taste of what orgasm torture must feel like.
Then the excitement wore off.
The dick that wouldn’t quit was still making me come. But it was making me feel bad about myself too.
Too Much of a Good Thing
I can’t help but feel bad for Mr. Austin.
Being a delayed ejaculator has some perks.
He can last forever, which can be pretty handy. And he never has to cut the good times short - he can ride out every minute of it.
But it’s got to be frustrating.
A lot of his sexual experiences ended without him having an orgasm.
Handjobs never end with a messy finish unless he takes over and does it himself.
Same with blowjobs - he’s had more than he can count, but he’s only ever come from head a total of three times.
And he’s never had the satisfaction of thrusting into someone and losing himself in the pleasure until it brings him to a climax.
There’s like a whole easy-breezy side of sex that he has to miss out on, and that really sucks.
And it sucked for me too. I didn’t just feel like he was missing out - I felt like he was missing out because of me.
I knew that wasn’t actually true. I wasn’t his first rodeo, and none of the other girls he had been with could make him come either.
He even spent a year dating a cock worshipper who had no problem sucking him off for half an hour. And still, nothing.
But I couldn’t help it. It still made me really insecure.
I was the girl who couldn’t make her boyfriend come. Then I was the wife who couldn’t give her husband a proper sexual finish.
It shook my sexual confidence and made me feel inadequate.
He wasn’t my first rodeo either.
Before meeting him, I had bad sex and so-so sex. I had sex where I didn’t do much or didn’t really know what to do. I had sex that was emotionally intense but didn’t blow my mind physically.
But no matter what kind of sex I had, I could count on one thing. I could make someone come, and that made me feel hot and wanted.
Now I wasn’t getting to experience that - no matter how hard I tried, no matter how long I went, and no matter how intense the sex was. And it was making me feel unsexy.
I was getting more orgasms than I could keep track of. But I was also learning that sex isn’t just about pleasure. It’s not even just about intimacy and connection. It’s also about how it makes you feel about yourself.
Really good sex makes you feel desirable. It makes you feel like you’re a good lay. It makes you feel like a dirty girl, a bad girl, a naughty girl, a good girl - or a combination of all those.
That’s what was missing.
Fucking my husband didn’t make me feel like a hot piece of ass. It made me inadequate.
His everlasting cock was supposed to be the icing on top of all the hot sex we were having. Instead, it was kind of bumming me out.
The Right Way to Handle Delayed Ejaculation
I didn’t handle Mr. Austin’s delayed ejaculation as well as I should have.
I got in my own head about it. It made me a little more sexually inhibited. I had trouble feeling like a good fuck.
If knew I would’ve felt like more of a fun, dirty girl if every fuck didn’t have to end with him jacking off.
That extra confidence would have made me better in bed too - more enthusiastic and probably a bit dirtier.
It took a while, but I eventually got over my insecurities about his delayed ejaculation. There are three things that helped me get there.
The first one was actually talking about it.
I don’t mean his dick - we talked about that a lot. The fact that he couldn’t finish from sex was an open topic. I’d tease him about it. I was comfortable telling him when it was just too much and we had to stop.
But I should’ve told him how it made me feel.
Not just sore, but insecure and inadequate. How not being able to suck him to a finish made me feel like a bad cocksucker. How sex that ends with cuddles instead of come made me feel less attractive.
Putting all that in the open made it something we dealt with together instead of a bunch of anxious feelings I kept to myself.
I also had to find other ways to feel desirable during sex.
Dirty talk was a big part of that.
Hearing everything he loved about having his cock inside me took the emphasis off his climax.
Learning what he found hot about my blowjobs made me feel way better about the fact that my mouth couldn’t make him come.
And hearing how aroused he got by giving me pleasure made our orgasm gap feel like less of a problem.
But I also encouraged him to let go and not always focus on getting me off. I wanted him to take his pleasure more seriously.
It worked. He moaned, groaned, and grunted through sex. He grabbed me, took me, and fucked me in ways he wanted.
He didn’t just tell me he was into me. He fucked me in a way that made it obvious he did.
Then we found some fun ways to finish that would accommodate his slow cock.
After my last orgasm, I make myself feel naughty by being encouraging. I tell him where I want him to come. I sway my bare ass to give him a show while he strokes his cock. I tease him with a little bit of gentle dirty talk.
When I feel like finishing closer to him, I’ll cut off the fucking early. Instead of having him pound me until I can’t take any more, I call it when I still have one or two orgasms left in me. That way, I can ride my vibrator while be jerks himself off - and if I’m really lucky he manages to come on my ass right when I’m about to hit a climax.
Once in a while, I’ll just take it as an opportunity to relax. I’ll lie down and just chill until he’s done. Depending on my mood, I’ll watch his hand work his cock, I’ll play with my tits for his amusement, or I’ll just daydream for a while.
It’s not always ideal. His cock still limits what we can do.
I don’t get to have him fuck me until he fills me up. I can’t just give him a start to finish handjob because there won’t be any finish. And knowing exactly how it’s going to end makes sex a little more predictable than I wish it was.
But that’s just how he’s built, so it’s how we fuck. Accepting that and accommodating it is the only way for us to have a great and satisfying sex life.
And playfully wiggling my butt until he comes on me will always beat feeling bad about myself.
A good stroker is a delayed ejaculator’s best friend. One of Mr. Austin’s favorites is the Tenga Flip Orb. It’s a cool, highly stimulating, easy to clean stroker that’s perfect for stubborn cocks! That’s an affiliate link, by the way. If you click on in and treat yourself to anything from the site, I earn a small commission and you’ll be enjoying a really cool sex toy! Be sure to use the code LOVEEMMA at checkout to save 15% on your entire order!
If you liked this article, you should totally check out the Unchoke Your Chicken (Resensitizing After Death Grip) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!
