How to Become a Pleasure Dom
Give her all the pleasure she deserves - and then some
It seems like most guys have two speeds when it comes to kink.
They can do vanilla - maybe even a few different flavors of it.
Or they can turn on their dominant side and go all the way to the other extreme.
They’ll dish out the degradation - call their lady a dirty whore while fucking her from the back or whatever.
They’ll get rough - give a few smacks, a hard facefuck, and pin her down while jackhammering her.
Which is totally cool if that’s exactly what she’s into.
But a lot of women are looking for something that’s in between those two modes. Not vanilla, but not the kind of treatment that will make her eyes water either.
She wants to be fucked by someone dominant. She wants to explore a bit of kink. She wants an excuse to buy some cute bondage gear.
She just doesn’t want to be on the receiving end of anything that feels too aggressive or pushy.
She might be into daddy doms. Maybe she wishes someone would tame her playfully. More likely than not, what she really wants is a pleasure dom.
She wants someone who will make her feel submissive but still focus on making her feel good. She wants to experience so much pleasure her body can barely handle it. She wants to give up control without feeling like she’s just letting someone use her body.
Which is the complete opposite of what a lot of guys do when they’re asked to be more dominant. And that’s how things get awkward and everyone ends up disappointed.
You don’t have to be one of those guys, though. If that’s what your lady’s into and you don’t mind taking charge, becoming a pleasure dom is actually pretty easy. In fact, I’m going to tell you how to do it right now.
Be Dominant and Confident
Having the right kind of attitude is a big part of being dominant in bed.
And for a pleasure dom, that mostly comes down to acting confident and secure.
The point is to make her feel like you’re in charge and that she’s going to be very well taken care of. That you’re going to be taking the lead and all she has to do is be a good girl and follow along.
So, don’t be domineering or act all bossy. You want her to feel like everything you’re doing is for her, not like you’re turning her into your living fuck toy.
That’s a totally different kink - and might not be one she’s interested in trying.
Use Intensity Instead of Pain
You’ll have to do things to her body that she can’t do herself. Or at least, that wouldn’t feel the same if she did them to herself.
Because she can spank her own ass all she wants, it won’t feel anywhere near as stimulating as having your palm smack against her cheek.
So you’ll want to give her all sorts of really intense sensations. Because being a pleasure dom isn’t just about making her come - it’s about making her feel really good in all sorts of different ways.
But you can’t take it too far. You have to turn up the intensity without giving her any pain or discomfort.
That could mean spanking her, softly smacking her with a smooth paddle, and gently tapping her with a crop.
It could mean slapping her pussy once she’s wet and aroused - but not so hard that it makes her flinch.
Nipple stuff, too. Clamps, pinches, taps - anything as long as you keep it on the softer side.
Take Control of Her Pleasure
Being a pleasure dom is all about giving her pleasure - but doing it in a way that makes her feel more submissive.
You have to be the one in control, even when you’re giving her exactly what she wants.
Tying her up and strapping her down is one of the easiest ways to do that. Because the less she can move, the more it will feel like she’s giving herself over to you.
You also have to get really good at edging - that’s pretty much essential. Bringing her close to a climax but refusing to let her have it is one of the hottest things a pleasure dom can do. It will make her feel frustrated, horny, and so desperate she’ll beg for you to get her off.
No matter how you end up doing it, you’ll have to give her multiple satisfying orgasms. But it should be up to you when she gets to come - and when she has to wait for it.
Get the Machines Involved
Pleasure doms know how to push a lady’s pleasure to the limit. And that’s a whole lot easier to do if you’ve got some really good sex toys.
And I’d say the two most important ones are a Magic Wand and a decent sex machine.
They’re both very powerful, so you can really ramp up the intensity.
They also have a very mechanical aesthetic, which is a really big part of the appeal. The more it feels like she’s being worked over by some heavy duty machinery, the more she’ll feel like she’s giving up control and just taking it.
And when you’re the one setting up and controlling those powerful toys, it will make her feel like she’s in total submission to you.
So tie up her wrists, slip the Magic Wand into her underwear, and let her squirm.
Turn the dial up on the machine until she’s getting fucked so fast she couldn’t keep quiet if she tried.
Or use both at once so you can both discover exactly how much stimulation she can handle.
Tease and Praise Her
Dirty talk is a really big part of any kind of BDSM. It’s basically how you flex your dominance and make her feel all subby.
And when you’re in pleasure dom mode, you should use a style of dirty talk that’s compatible with it.
If she happens to love degradation and humiliation, then you can go nuts with it. Say whatever nasty thing you can think of while you’re giving her the seventh orgasm in a row.
But if she’s into pleasure doms, there’s a good chance she’d prefer dirty talk that’s a bit more playful and upbeat.
Like giving her praise for being good at taking everything you’re giving to her. Those higher settings on the sex machine are no joke, so she deserves a little encouragement at the very least.
Positive humiliation works really well, too. Like teasing her for being so horny, for begging so pathetically, or for being so damn greedy for pleasure.
Or you can just keep reminding her that she’s all tied up and can’t do anything but lie there and let you play with her.
But definitely say something. And be confident about it. It will make you feel more dominant and make her feel more submissive, which is exactly what you’re going for.
Push Her to Her Orgasmic Limit
No matter how you’re fucking her, you should be trying to make her feel good and make her come.
But if she fantasizes about submitting to a pleasure dom, that might not be enough.
To really satisfy that kink, you’ll have to push her pleasure to its limits.
Not past them, mind you. When she tells you she’s done, it’s time to ease off and give her plenty of aftercare.
But go as far as she can. Don’t stop making her come until she can’t take it anymore.
Because she’s actually got two pleasure limits.
You might hit the first one pretty quickly. That’s the one where she would stop if she was on her own. It’s the last orgasm she can manage before turning off her vibrator or climbing off her suction cup dildo.
But she also has a second limit - either just after that one or a few orgasms deeper. That’s the one she can’t reach on her own because she taps out before she even gets close.
And that’s where you need to bring her - to a level of pleasure she can’t get to unless you’re helping her reach it.
You might need a bit of patience. It might take a few good moves. She’ll probably need a whole lot of praise to keep going. But if you get her there, you’ll blow her mind harder than you’ve ever blown it before.
Get Off on Getting Her Off
Being a pleasure dom isn’t all that complicated. But it’s still kind of a tricky concept for some guys.
They have a hard time squaring the idea of being in charge but still giving their partner all the pleasure.
But if you can change your idea of what domination means and scrub away all the forceful and aggressive stuff, you’ll be able to explore different kinds of BDSM.
And if you can get off on getting her off, then you’ll be able to give her the intense, multi-orgasmic, super submissive experience she needs.
This post contains affiliate links to some great toys and accessories that will help you be a better pleasure dom. If you click on one and treat yourself to anything from the site, I earn a small commission and you’ll be ready to blow her mind like never before! And be sure to use the code LOVEMMA at checkout to save 15% on your entire order from Betty’s Toy Box!
If you liked this article, you should totally check out the How to Shoot Ropes (Big Loads, Big Supplements, and Big Simping) episode of my dirty and intimate podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!
