I Slut Shamed a Guy for Sleeping With 300 Women
I still feel terrible about it
If you’re mixed up with a fuckboi, the good news is you don’t have to deal with it all by yourself.
That’s what I found out when I told a group chat about a guy who was going hot and cold on me.
There weren’t many of us, but we’d all had eerily similar experiences.
Turns out that all the sweet and sexy things this guy was telling me were practically the same lines these girls had heard before. And the little ways he swept me off my feet and out of my pants were moves they were all very familiar with.
That group chat turned into a place where we could share all our fuckboi drama - past and present.
It became a place where I could vent my frustrations when he dicked me around.
It’s where I’d go to keep myself accountable after I promised I’d stop messing around with him.
It’s also where I went to lick my wounds after talking myself into another round of horny phone sex even though I knew I’d end up getting hurt.
Those conversations were genuinely helpful. All of us had either been through the same thing or were going through it now, so we didn’t need to explain ourselves. It was one of the few place that reminded me I wasn’t crazy - because that’s exactly how a fuckboi will make you feel.
I got off that emotionally unhealthy roller coaster a lot more quickly than I would have if I didn’t have that group chat.
I’m really grateful for it, even though it didn’t always bring out the best in me.
So Much for Sex Positivity
I can’t remember exactly what he did that time. He had dicked me around so often that it all kind of runs together now.
All I know is that it hurt me. So, I went to the group chat to get support.
The support was there, but it didn’t feel as satisfying as I thought it would. The things he said to me still stung.
I guess that’s why I started talking trash about him. I wanted to make him seem smaller, less powerful, easier for me to dismiss and forget.
I went low - by making fun of his high body count.
I knew the exact number, too. He didn’t miss an opportunity to brag about having fucked 300 women over the course of his life. It came up a few times, so it was in my mind whenever I thought about him.
So, that’s what I reached for. I made jokes about it - about him being such a manwhore.
It was over in a flash - I just threw it out there and the conversation quickly moved to the next thing.
But I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Not because of the actual number or anything like that. It’s because I couldn’t believe I had actually slut shamed him - that I had slut shamed anyone.
It didn’t make any sense because I didn’t actually look down on him for racking up that number. I didn’t even have a negative reaction when he dropped it on me.
Honestly, all I wanted was to be his 301st.
Hell, I could’ve easily fucked that many people in another life. For all I know, my greysexuality, intense social anxiety, and chronic fatigue are the only things that stood between me and a few hundred casual and not-so-casual partners.
And still, in one heated moment it just slipped out of my mouth.
There’s Some Dark Stuff in There
I didn’t feel like myself when I made fun of him for his body count.
I’ve always thought of myself as sex positive. And that kind of slut shaming was the opposite of that.
And I felt especially ashamed about it because I’ve been on the receiving end of it - a lot.
I don’t have a three-digit body count, but I still managed to get a bit of a reputation among my friends.
I’ve fucked strangers. I’ve fucked guys for some pretty casual reasons. I’ve been the friend with benefits.
I only fuck one person these days, but I do share every single dirty thought I have with whoever wants to listen.
Before I slut shamed him, I was the girl having phone sex with some fuckboi I met online even though she’s a happily married mother of four.
I mean, I make porn for fuck’s sake.
So yeah, I know what it’s like to be slut shamed.
But it still came out of me. And that forced me to confront the fact that slut shaming and sex negativity isn’t just something I’ve faced - it’s something I’ve internalized.
It doesn’t matter how many dirty jobs I have. It doesn’t matter how much time I spend cheering other people on for having amazing, fun, filthy sex. The sex negativity I’ve enountered my whole life is still somewhere inside me.
When it slipped into my thoughts and out of my mouth, it reminded me that it’s something I still need to work on. That even an aspiring slut needs to keep her slut shaming in check.
I guess if there’s a lesson here, it’s that we’re all loaded with baggage. That’s why sex positivity is so important. We’ve all internalized so much shame and guilt about sex, and there isn’t anyone who hasn’t had to unpack and try to get past it.
The point isn’t to be perfect. It’s to work on it and to keep doing that work.
And I suppose the other lesson is that you should avoid phonefucking a fuckboi. And if you do, try not to lose your cool in the group chat.
If you liked this article, you should totally check out the Unspoken Rules of Sex (Shower Sex, Hair Sex, and Busty Hairdressers) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!
