How to Spot a Fuckgirl
Watch out for these 12 signs
Most women have had the unlucky experience of being targeted by a fuckboi, but not everyone has had the displeasure of encountering a fuckgirl.
There’s a lot of discourse about fuckbois. We warn each other about the guys who are just out to play games. We console each other when we get hurt by one. And we remind each other of the red flags we need to watch out for.
But there’s a lot less talk about fuckgirls.
They’re not as common as fuckbois and they might not always seem as threatening. But they can still break your heart, waste your time, and leave you feeling used.
Like a fuckboi, a fuckgirl is after external validation.
She wants to know she’s desirable and wanted. She wants to feel like a catch. She wants to feel like she has power over someone else. And she uses sex to get it.
The problem is that she’s willing to be dishonest to get it. She doesn’t mind leading someone on to get them in bed, even if she’s not interested in a relationship. She’s emotionally unavailable but she doesn’t mind faking a fast connection if it gets her what she wants.
The problem is that she’s hard to spot.
For one thing, a lot of us have our guard down when it comes to women.
We know that there are men out there who are after one thing and one thing only. We know there are guys who will lie, manipulate, and cajole if it means they can get laid. But we tend to give women the benefit of the doubt, so a fuckgirl can fly under the radar a little more easily.
Even when our guard is up, though, a fuckgirl is tricky because we’re less aware of the way they operate.
Because fuckgirls aren’t as common as fuckbois, we don’t get a steady stream of memes about them and the internet isn’t flooded with articles about their tactics. So most of us don’t have a clear sense of how a fuckgirl acts until we find ourselves tangled up with one.
If you’re into women and you want to avoid getting led on or having your heart broken, these are the behaviors you need to watch out for.
She Comes on a Bit Too Hard
A fuckgirl doesn’t have time to fuck around. She wants to find out that she has a chance with you (and take it) as soon as she can.
She doesn’t want to just get to know you and see where things go. She wants to feel hot and in control and she can’t feel that way unless she gets you in bed or at least fawning over her.
She’ll seem like she’s getting really invested in you and moving things along really quickly. It’s not because she’s developing serious feelings for you, though. It’s because she wants you to get invested in her.
Her Conversations Stay Shallow
The thing with a fuckgirl is that she wants you to be interested in her, even if she’s not all that interested in you. Because of that, your conversations with her are going to feel really superficial.
She won’t make any effort to get to you on a deeper level. She won’t volunteer a whole lot of details about herself, either.
Usually, she’ll find a way to steer the conversation back to sex. That might happen subtly and it might feel personal, but she wants to make sure you’re thinking of her as a potential fuck.
Sometimes, the conversations will feel deep. You’ll have talked about insecurities, about your hopes and dreams, about whatever the fuck else. But when you look back on those moments, chances are you’ll realize that you were the one being vulnerable and opening up, not her.
She Goes Hot and Cold
A fuckgirl is on a quest for external validation, but she’s not going to be satisfied getting it from one person.
She’ll flirt with you aggressively. She’ll spend all night bantering with you over text. She might even show up at your door for a booty call.
Then you won’t hear from her for a while. She’ll send you occasional, terse replies. Usually they’ll start with “Sorry, I’ve been so busy” or something like that.
And it’s probably because she’s working on a lot of different people. She’ll want to keep as many people interested in her as she can while also looking for new people she can rope in.
She’ll cycle through all of them and some nights it’s just not your turn. So, while you keep checking your phone to see if she texted or if she posted anything to Instagram, she’s probably getting flirty with someone else.
A fuckgirl might have a prize she’s after — that one person she wants more than the others. Usually, it’s someone just a little unattainable or out of her league. But she’s still going to be hot and cold with them because she still has her sights set on multiple people at once.
She Strings You Along
You might feel like she’s all talk.
She acts like she’s on the cusp of fucking you. You feel like you’re just three texts away from her asking you to come over.
But then she just drops it and you don’t hear from her for a while.
It feels a little confusing, but it’s because she’s not always interested in getting somewhere with you. Often, she just wants to know you would be into it.
She wants to know that you would drop all your plans to go fuck her.
She wants to make sure that you’ll spend all night flirting with her in the hopes that it will lead to something.
Sometimes, she’ll just want to see if she can get things from you. She wants to see if you’ll get takeout sent to her door because she whined to you that she was hungry but didn’t feel like cooking. She’ll complain about not having a ride somewhere and hope that you’ll offer to pick her up.
She’ll call you the sweetest, say a few more flirty things, and then you might not hear from her for another week.
She Only Texts or Calls Late at Night
There’s nothing wrong with late-night texts. But if they’re all you get, you might want to stop and evaluate what’s going on.
A fuckgirl who keeps texting you late at night is probably doing it because she’s using you to close her day.
Sometimes, it’s because she just had a hot date or a really good fuck and she wants the good feelings to continue. So, she starts flirting with you so she can keep riding that high.
In other cases, it’s the opposite. The date fell through, went terribly, or the sex she had was incredibly disappointing. In that case, you’re her reassurance. You’ll give her attention and make her feel cute while she pouts.
Or she’ll just text when she’s got nothing else going on. It’s a quiet night and she’s lonely, so she hits you up. Maybe you get a little sexting action out of it.
None of that is bad in and of itself. Sharing someone’s excitement and celebrating how well they got fucked is great. Reassuring them when they’re down is the decent thing to do. And late-night sexting can be a total win-win.
But if it’s all you’re getting from her, you have to start wondering why.
Chances are, it’s because you’re on a fuckgirl’s backburner. You’re there when she needs you, but the rest of the time she’s too busy working over someone else.
She’s Only Interested in Men With Money
Some fuckgirls go after women — in some cases, exclusively. But the ones who go after men tend to aim for those who have some clear sign of status.
A fuckgirl doesn’t always aim for the high value men, like the ones with a solid character and a good dose of charm. It can take time to see those things in a guy. You might have to get to know him on a deep and personal level.
Popularity is tough to gauge once you’re out of high school.
It’s much easier to pick out the ones who are wealthy — or at the very least, the ones who flash their wealth.
Fuckgirls go after guys with money because it feels like a bigger achievement. Bagging and fucking a big spender can make her feel like more of a catch.
Other times, though, it’s as simple as wanting a better experience out of it.
If she’s not in it to build an emotional connection or find someone worth settling down with, she might as well get to enjoy nice dinners, expensive champagne, and gifts she couldn’t afford to give herself.
She Makes Fun of You for Wanting More
If you fall for a fuckgirl, you’ll want to get to know her on a deeper level. You’ll want to spend more time with her. You’ll want proper dates instead of booty calls. You’ll want to define the damn relationship so you can stop feeling like she’s dicking you around.
And when you voice any of that, there’s a good chance she’ll just tease you about it.
She’ll make fun of you for turning down sex or wanting something else. Or she’ll give you a perplexed look and say something like “You’re a weird one.” Or she might comment that “Most guys would be happy to have a girl offer them sex.”
If it makes you feel emasculated, it’s because that’s the point. She wants you to doubt yourself and go along with whatever she wants.
You Can’t Depend on Her
A fuckgirl cancels plans like that’s the point of making them.
Often, it’s because she’ll overextend herself. She’ll make plans and schedule dates with multiple people. Sooner or later, they’re bound to overlap and she’ll just pick which she wants to go with and drop the rest.
If you’re particularly unlucky, the reason she’ll keep canceling is because you’re her backup. She almost never follows through on any plans you make because they’re only interesting to her if everything else falls through.
In a lot of cases, she’ll make plans even though she has no intention of following through — or knows she can’t. She wants to dangle the promise in front of you because you’re more interested in her when she does — you go all in because she seems all in.
Eventually, you clue in. When she says the apple picking date you suggested sounds like the cutest thing ever and she can’t wait, you know it doesn’t actually matter to her if you take her or not.
Her Words Don’t Match Her Actions
The reason it’s so easy to fall for a fuckgirl is that she says all the right things.
She’ll talk to you in a way that makes her seem really interested.
She’ll act like she’s falling in love with you and falling fast.
She’ll say sweet and vaguely romantic stuff that makes you think she’s got a hardcore case of the butterflies.
But her actions don’t line up with any of that.
She goes cold after saying you made her believe in love at first sight.
She does something that reminds you she’s still seeing other people after acting like you were soulmates.
She might even drop little comments about the future you’ll have together but then act weird if you even imply that she’s your girlfriend.
It leaves you completely confused. You have no idea if this might be your future wife or if she might completely desert you the next day. She seems so fucking sincere in the moment and then acts like none of her words mattered.
It’s because she’s just roleplaying the start of a relationship. You’re catching feelings for her while she’s just indulging in a little bit of fantasy.
She Sabotages Anything Real
A fuckgirl doesn’t want to let you into her life. She doesn’t want you to meet her family, get to know her friends, or make any real commitment to you.
But even a fuckgirl can slip. She can start developing feelings. She can realize that she’s uncomfortable with how close you’ve become. Maybe you got her to define the relationship and she regrets putting a label on it.
When that happens, she’ll start to feel tied down. She’ll miss the validation she got from fucking around. And she’ll resent you for not being able to give her the same kind of ego boost.
So, she’ll do whatever it takes to fuck it all up.
She’ll start fights with you for seemingly no reason. She’ll cheat on you and drop hints about it so you can find out. In some cases, she’ll just get distant and hope that you lose interest in her.
In the end, you’ll feel like you have no choice but to call it off. And you’ll wonder why you didn’t do it sooner.
She’s Weirdly Competitive
Does she get a little intense when you mention any of the other women in your life?
Whenever you bring up a friend, a relative, or even a current girlfriend (fuckgirls don’t care if you’re taken), she feels the need to make it clear that she’s better than them in some way.
She won’t miss any opportunity to show off that she’s smarter and funnier than your female friends.
If any of your exes did something naughty during sex, she’ll make sure you know that she’s even dirtier.
Whenever other women come up, she’ll start acting like the cool girl. She’s the one who’s into all the cool shit you’re into, she does the things the other girls don’t, and she’s flirty and down to fuck on top of it.
Basically, she’s selling herself to you. She wants all of your attention on her. She wants you to think of her when she’s not around, even if she can’t be bothered to do the same for you. And she does that by bragging, showing off, and making herself seem enticing.
She Makes You Feel Lonely
Having her in your life should be a plus. It gives you one more person to talk to, one more person to have around you, and one more person who is showing some interest in you.
Except it doesn’t feel that way. Having her in your life actually makes you feel more alone.
That’s the fuckgirl paradox.
It’s because she’s not just someone you know — she’s someone who’s playing games with you.
Because she’s toying with you and your emotions, you expect more out of her than you would from others and you end up getting a lot less.
At first, it can be really exciting. She’s showing interest in you. You might have found yourself a girlfriend. At the very least, she reminds you that you’ve still got it.
But then it all goes downhill. You feel great when you’re with her, but the rest of the time you agonize over her. Because she comes on hard but goes cold, you feel like she’s giving you everything and it’s still not enough. You start feeling a little needy. You obsess over her.
Soon enough, she’s spending more time pushing you away than luring you in. But because she’s still pulling you back in every now and then, you just can’t quit her — not yet anyway.
You realize that the butterflies she gave you at first have turned into a bundle of anxieties.
Your gut is your biggest clue that you’re dealing with a fuckgirl. A girl showing interest in you, flirting with you, and fucking you should make you feel like you’re on top of the world. If you keep feeling like you’re being crushed down by it, it’s time to cut it off and move on.
It’s Okay to Expect More
Could she be a girl who’s just after some casual sex?
Yeah, maybe. Lots of women just want to flirt, fuck, and not get into anything too serious.
But if that’s all she’s after, you’ll know. She won’t pretend that there’s anything else going on. She won’t try to make you fall in love with her. She won’t play with your emotions.
And chances are you’ll feel great. Having a hookup with her will be your fun, dirty night. Having her as a friend with benefits means you’ll both get yours whenever you happen to be single. Her late-night booty calls will feel like one of the amazing perks of knowing her — not the start of something more.
That’s the difference. Casual sex is honest. Fuckgirling isn’t.
That’s why it comes as a surprise when she doesn’t reply to your texts for a week. It’s why you can’t understand why she went cold on you the next day. It’s why you’re heartbroken as hell when she’s on her next conquest and has pushed you to the backburner.
Because they’re not as common as fuckbois, fuckgirls often fly under the radar. But they don’t have to fly under yours. If you know the signs, you can call it off before she even has a chance to play you.
If you liked this article, you should totally check out the How to Make a Blowjob Better for Her (Ball Powders, Avocado Dick, and Squirting Mishaps) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!
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