The Benefits of Mutual Masturbation

It’s made sex even better

I had no idea masturbating in front of my husband would be such a turn on.

I don’t mean touching myself during sex. We’ve got a long history of that. But laying on my side of the bed and getting myself off in his presence — that’s a recent development.

It’s not something I was especially interested in doing. I’m pretty self-conscious, so the thought of being on full display like that made me a bit uneasy.

That started to change, oddly enough, when he started masturbating in front of me.

We’ve got a busy household. We both work at home and deal with four young kids all day long. We get too much stress, too little sleep, and never have a real break.

That made masturbation tricky, especially for my husband. His options were to get even less sleep so he could wake up early to masturbate comfortably or give himself a quick mid-day jerk in the half-bathroom on the main floor and hope to hell none of the kids come banging on the door while he does.

Unsurprisingly, he usually chose neither.

So, I told him to masturbate in bed, right before we go to sleep.

I planned to just go to sleep while he took care of himself. Instead, I listened. Then I watched.

The next time, I watched again.

He seemed to have so much fun, I felt kind of jealous that I wasn’t part of the action.

So, the next time, I joined in.

Mutual masturbation is now a regular part of our lives. At least once a week, we’ll lay in bed next to each other. Mr. Austin may touch my shoulder, or my hand might find his. But mostly, we just touch ourselves.

I knew there were lots of advantages to masturbation, but what these last two months have taught me is that there are a lot of added benefits to doing it with a partner.

It’s Better Than Porn

I’m not one of those ladies who lights candles, puts on slow new age music, and conjures up a fantasy to set the mood for masturbation.

Nah, I like some solid hardcore porn.

Sometimes, I’ll dip into my personal spank bank, but mostly I’ll go for some visual stimulation.

As it turns out, there’s more than enough of that sensory stimulation when I’ve got Mr. Austin getting himself off by my side.

I listen to him breathing heavily, moaning, groaning.

If I turn my head for a peek, I can watch the way his face looks when he’s lost in his own self-enjoyment. I can watch his hand pump up and down his shaft.

And at the end, I get to see him in an intense moment of pleasure while his come spills over his fingers.

It’s hot as fuck.

There are countless solo male videos online that could give me the same kind of show, but nothing beats seeing it live.

And there’s one more thing my masturbation partner can do that porn can’t — he can watch me back.

Underneath all my self-consciousness, there’s a certified exhibitionist. So knowing that he’s listening and that he could turn his head and look at me at any moment is really arousing.

There’s an added thrill to knowing that you’re not just enjoying a show — you’re part of it, too.

It Gives Us a Middle Ground Between Sex and Going Solo

Before we started masturbating together, we had two options for getting off. We could either have sex or we could masturbate privately.

Sex is great, but I’m not always up to it. My husband has a very fast recovery time and can go again soon after we’re done, but because I’m chronically ill, I often need a day off to recover.

I’d often masturbate on those days off because solo play just doesn’t drain my energy the way partnered sex does.

But I’d feel kind of guilty doing it. Not because I had hangups about masturbating, but because there were days when I could only do it in the evening, and that was often the only alone time I got with my husband.

Once we opened ourselves up to partnered wanking, I didn’t have to choose between getting myself off or spending quality time with Mr. Austin. And there’s nothing like quality time that ends with both of us having an orgasm.

It’s Super Convenient

I’m not a quickie type of person.

I’ve had some in the past, but they were often more bewildering than satisfying. I’d end up just feeling flustered and wanting more.

And now that my teen years are long gone, I also need a lot more build-up to get me there.

I need some flirting and playfulness to get me started. Then it takes some of your more traditional foreplay to get me going.

It’s not much, really, but when we get so little alone time after all our kids are in bed, we don’t always get there.

But masturbating is easy. I need a bit of arousal, sure, but it’s not much. When there’s just no opportunity for sex, we go for mutual masturbation instead.

It’s easy to start and it doesn’t have to last a long time. We can satisfy our sexual urges and still get to bed at a decent hour.

Scheduling Masturbation Time Can Be Hard

Finding time to masturbate used to be easy. Mr. Austin worked outside the home, and all the kids still napped. That gave me a perfect opportunity to drain my vibrator’s battery.

But in recent years, it’s been hard to find enough private, uninterrupted time to get it done. Mr. Austin started working from home and only our youngest still takes naps, so my masturbation frequency went way down.

Even after I started being more open and honest with Mr. Austin about my masturbation habits, it was still hard to find time to jill off.

For one thing, I had to work around his schedule. But even when I found a pocket of time when he didn’t need me, my plans were often foiled by screaming children, massive and time-consuming tantrums, or my oldest banging on my locked bedroom door because Mr. Austin said no to him and he wants a second opinion.

That became a really big challenge after my doctor told me I needed to relieve stress and, well, I’ll let you guess what I chose as my daily method of self-care.

Mutual masturbation means I don’t need to work around Mr. Austin’s schedule to get some privacy. Instead, we both take some much needed time off and de-stress at a time that’s convenient for both of us.

It Makes Natural Family Planning More Fun

I went on the pill when I was sixteen. But with all the issues my body threw at me over the years, it just didn’t make sense for me to use a method of birth control that messed with my hormones.

Now, we do natural family planning. I’m highly in tune with my cycle, especially after planning four pregnancies. So, we’re really careful around ovulation.

The only problem is that also happens to be the horniest part of my cycle by far. I probably deserve a medal for all the self-restraint I show when I abstain from anything that could get me pregnant while really, really, really wanting to get fucked.

To get through that time, we have plenty of non-penetrative sexy fun.

Mutual masturbation helps me round things out. It’s sexually gratifying, it satisfies some of my urge to fuck my husband, and I can’t think of a better birth control method than not even touching each other.

It’s an Intimate Bonding Experience

This is one that you see all over the internet. Anyone praising the benefits of mutual masturbation will talk about how intimate it is. Lots of people even go so far as saying it’s more intimate than sex.

I’m not sure I’m ready to say that — I feel really close and connected to my husband when we’re pleasuring each other. But I do see their point.

Even after being married for years, masturbation was something we did alone. Doing it together means letting each other in on something that used to be private.

There’s also a lot of intimacy that comes from just being ourselves. We’re not putting on a show or trying to arouse each other. We’re just giving ourselves pleasure for its own sake.

Plus, sharing your hobby with your partner is always a great bonding opportunity.

It Made Me More Comfortable During Sex

Even though I put tons of details about my sex life online for all to read, I’m really a shy and easily embarrassed person.

For the longest time, I even found it hard to get completely naked when I slept with my husband. It wasn’t because he did anything to make me feel uncomfortable — I just had to do a lot of work on my confidence.

Masturbating in front of Mr. Austin helped me make a lot of progress in that department.

After exposing myself that much and letting myself be looked at and watched, I felt a lot less inhibited when I had sex.

The more we masturbate together, the less shame I feel about my body. It’s worth doing it just for that reason.

One More Way to Enjoy Ourselves

Masturbation is still sometimes a purely solo endeavor for us.

Occasionally, Mr. Austin has to stay up late to work and we just can’t find time to do it together.

When we can make space for it, sometimes we’d rather cuddle and talk. So, we’ll take care of business at our convenience and just hang out at night.

And once in a while it’s nice to have a little fuss-free fun by your lonesome.

But still, we keep coming back to mutual masturbation. Because going solo can be so much more enjoyable when you don’t do it alone.

I’m a big fan of using sex toys during mutual masturbation session, and that goes for the guys, too. If you need a fun toy for him, you can’t go wrong with a Fleshlight. That’s an affiliate link, by the way. if you click on it and purchase anything from the site, I earn a small commission and you’ll be supporting my work!