Masturbation Is Better Than Meditation

Achieve your bliss

My doctor told me to meditate and I felt completely defeated.

When your doctor tells you to get in lotus pose and focus on your breathing, it sounds a whole lot like them telling you they’ve run out of treatment options.

I was seeing her to get help with my hormonal imbalances. She made small, gradual adjustments to my medication. I was seeing some improvements, but I still felt downright miserable.

Every day was the same. I woke up fatigued after sleeping more than eight hours.

As soon as I opened my eyes in the morning, I felt a brain fog clouding my thoughts. It only got heavier and heavier as the day went on.

That would’ve been manageable if I wasn’t buzzing with massive anxiety on top of it.

I came to my doctor’s office hoping for an increase in my medication. Or maybe a prescription for something more effective. Anything, really.

Well, anything but what she recommended.

She leaned over to me with a sympathetic look and said, “I really think you should try meditating.”

My heart sank. How the hell was I even supposed to do that?

Hi, I’m Emma and I Can’t Meditate

She wasn’t the first person to recommend meditation. The thing with having a mystery illness is that sooner or later, everyone throws up their hands and just says “Have you tried meditating?”

I have. I tried it many times hoping it would clear my mind, give me focus, help me feel more energized, or just make me a little bit happier.

But no matter how often I tried, I just couldn’t do it.

I can sit around and do fuck all, that’s easy. But I can’t let my mind go blank. I can’t keep it focused. I can’t adjust my mindset.

It’s hard for someone with anxiety to do that. On a good day, I’ll spend the entire time obsessing over all the things I have to do and feel overwhelmed by it.

More often than not, though, I ruminate. My biggest worries nag at me. I hear my negative self-talk playing on a loop.

Instead of reducing my anxiety, I feel it crawling all over me.

I should’ve explained all that to my doctor. I should’ve told her that it wouldn’t work for me. I should’ve asked for a raise in my meds.

Instead I just smiled and told her I’d try, knowing I wouldn’t.

Before I left, she explained that my symptoms were caused by hormonal imbalances, but that stress is making them worse. Hence the meditation.

That was my lightbulb moment. If it’s stress relief I need, I know exactly how to get it.

Masturbating My Way to Mental Health

Around the time I went to that doctor’s appointment, I noticed a distinct pattern in my sleep.

On the nights I have sex, I fall asleep easier, get better sleep, and wake up feeling more refreshed.

I tried having sex daily to see if it could improve my sleep. It was fun at first and it did help me feel more rested. But it wasn’t sustainable. After a few days, it started wearing me the fuck out.

I guess my chronically ill body can’t handle all those hormonal highs.

So, I decided to test out a new theory. Maybe it’s not more sex I need, it’s more orgasms.

I tried it for a few weeks. On days I wasn’t having sex, I’d make sure masturbate until I had a strong orgasm.

Jilling off on the regular worked like magic. It helped with my insomnia, but I also noticed my brain fog starting to clear. I had more energy. Even my anxiety seemed to tone itself down.

I was calmer, happier, and doubted myself less.

So, my doctor was right. The stress relief helped tremendously.

She was just wrong about the best way to achieve it.

A Prescription for Masturbation

Getting off every day is the best kind of self-care there is. It’s convenient. It feels really fucking good. And you don’t need to spend a lot of money to do it.

But masturbating daily has its challenges.

The biggest one is desire. I don’t need to be as horny for masturbation as I do for sex. But I still need something.

Having a strong orgasm every day was a little too satisfying. I had trouble getting myself to want it again.

Porn worked well for a while, but even that lost its appeal after a while. I would scroll through page after page on Pornhub and nothing appealed to me. I felt like I had burned through all my search terms and needed something new.

After a couple of weeks of steady masturbation, I couldn’t get aroused anymore. So, I took a break. I figured taking a day off would recharge my libido.

Nope.

I woke up the next morning feeling awful. My brain fog was back with a vengeance. I had anxiety in the morning and it ate up my entire day. I even noticed my confidence dropping.

I didn’t do a fucking thing that day. I was too tired to be productive and too disappointed to feel any kind of motivation.

That’s when I knew I had to treat masturbation like medicine. Even if I’m not really in the mood for it, I still need the hormonal boost it gives me.

Jilling off when I’m not feeling horny is still a challenge, but it’s not the worst pill I’ve had to swallow.

Doing My Best

I did try the whole meditation thing again. At the very least, I wanted to be able to tell my doctor I gave it a fair shot.

But I just couldn’t. All I did was close my eyes, ruminate non-stop, feel a surge of anxiety, and come out of it feeling upset and emotionally worn down.

That’s the last thing I need.

So I’ll go back to the most reliable kind of stress relief I know: playing with my favorite vibrators.

My doctor had prescribed meditation. I tried masturbating instead and it worked even better. But I don’t think I’ll ever have the nerve to tell my her about it.

I just hope her other patients can figure it out on their own.

Daily masturbation is much better and easier when you have great porn to watch. My go-to site is Adult Time. It updates daily with high-quality videos featuring really hot performers. If you want to check it out, use the code LOVEEMMA when you sign up to save 20% on a your 30-day membership.

And my toy of choice right now is the Sultry by Pillow Talk. It’s cute, versatile, and gets me off perfectly. I got it from Betty’s Toy Box - use the code LOVEEMMA at checkout to save 10% on your entire order.

And be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter to stay up to date on everything I’m up to and get free access to my Medium articles!