Yes, Women Can Prematurely Orgasm, Too

I do, and it stopped me from having the kind of sex I wanted

My orgasm floodgates opened when I was eighteen.

Lots of women talked about orgasms in exasperated tones. They rarely had them and struggled to get off. I figured I was in the same boat. I had been with quite a few partners and never experienced one.

Turns out I was fucking the wrong guys. Because when I met a guy who could make me come, the orgasms came and they came fast.

And I mean that. The first time he got me off, I was shocked at how quickly it happened. And it kept happening that way every single time.

I had always heard about premature ejaculation, but I had never heard anyone talk about premature orgasm in women, even though about 3% of women have them chronically.

I’m part of that 3% and it was frustrating as fuck.

I Want Better, Not Faster Orgasms

One of my biggest struggles had to do with the quality of orgasms I was getting.

I have different types of orgasm and not all of them are equally satisfying.

There are the big, incredible ones that feel like they explode through my body

There are the ones that are so strong I burst into laughing fits from the rush of hormones.

There are the ones that make me shout and make my body shake and convulse.

Those all leave me spent, relaxed, and utterly satisfied.

They also tend to come at the end of a long, slow buildup.

The ones I get when I come prematurely are different. Not a let-down per se, but they don’t reach the same peaks. They can still drain me and wear me down a bit but they also leave me wanting more.

And it’s not just the destination — I want the journey, too. Having my clit rubbed feels really good. Getting fucked feels really good. Having my pussy eaten feels really fucking good, too. And when I hit my peak within a couple of minutes, I barely get to enjoy it before it’s over.

Actually, it’s worse than that. Not only do I orgasm prematurely, but I can sometimes come from being touched in non-sexual ways. If I’m horny enough, just being squeezed in the right places will do it.

Climaxing from having my hips grabbed is pretty fucking cool, but tapping out before I get to fuck isn’t.

And all of it is complicated by my husband. Because I can come very quickly, but Mr. Austin can’t. In fact, he doesn’t come at all when we have sex because he’s a severely delayed ejaculator.

So, the lady with the premature orgasms decided to marry the guy who can’t come. We were like an orgasmic Odd Couple, and neither of us were fucking nearly as long as we wanted to.

I wanted to find ways to improve my sex life — to come harder and to have time to really enjoy the sensations leading up to it. So, I took matters into my own hands — literally.

Orgasm Training

I used masturbation to train myself to come the way I wanted to.

I figured out that if I came and just kept going, I could build some sexual stamina and orgasm more than once.

So, I scheduled time to buff my muffin and not let up until I came at least twice.

I learned how to power through those small orgasms and just keep going. But the big ones were still a challenge. When one of those rocked through my body, I was done, and usually long before I wanted to be.

So, I upgraded my training. I used my favorite rabbit vibrator and learned how to reliably give myself those strong, show-stopping orgasms. I rode it until I came hard and then I kept it buzzing between my legs for a repeat performance.

It worked. Now, I can have two or three big orgasms before I have to push Mr. Austin’s face or hips away.

The only time it doesn’t work is with the laughing orgasms. Those are way too intense, and if I’m going to go again, I’ll need a long break, a glass of water, and a bit of determination.

Edging My Way to Dirtier Sex

I absolutely love dirty sex. But I’m an innocent little flower — I’m shy and timid. Until I’m horny as fuck, then I’m willing to do just about anything.

That’s another problem with premature orgasms. Even if I can ride through them, even if I can come multiple times a session, there’s no buildup. When there’s no buildup, I don’t get horny enough to have the really dirty sex I want.

When I’m not at peak arousal, I feel too self-conscious to do certain things. There are some positions that make me feel like I’m on display, and I sometimes avoid them even though they can be a lot of fun.

And there are things like anal, which I fucking love, but I can only really get into if I’m in the right (super horny) mood.

When I get good sexual stimulation but manage to hold off on the climax, I get so turned on that shy daytime Emma goes away and dirty sex blogger Emma takes over. That’s when I have the kind of sex that’s worth putting in my spank bank.

Instead of laying on my back and letting my husband take the lead, I push him on his back so I can suck his cock.

I ride him reverse cowgirl and let him look at all of me.

I let him get up close and very personal with my ass.

Basically, I get caught up in the moment and do all the stuff I’m too embarrassed to talk about in the morning.

But I can’t get there if I come too quickly.

I’ve learned to get in the right mood by learning my cues and edging myself.

When I feel an orgasm coming, I pull back from it, or Mr. Austin does it for me (he knows my cues well enough).

Because I’m premature, I get close quickly. But when I’m edged instead of going all the way, I’ll get insanely horny and go completely uninhibited.

It can take a lot of mental energy. It can feel really frustrating in the moment. But it’s worth the effort if it means I’ll get to be nasty in the end.

The Ingredients of Great Sex

Premature orgasms can be frustrating as hell, but I’m grateful I get to have them at all, and multiple ones at that. As far as sexual disorders go, coming easily isn’t the worst one I could have.

Now that I found ways to manage it and delay my orgasms, it’s not bad at all, really.

Having a better time with premature orgasms just requires all the ingredients you need for any kind of great sex.

A little mindfulness so you can pay attention to your body and learn its cues.

An attentive partner who can help you figure out the kind of stimulation that works for you.

Tons of communication so you can slow down, stop, or switch whenever you need to.

And making sure you don’t just rush through everything.

Oh, and edging. Lots and lots of edging.