The Pfizer Vaccine Made My Boobs Bigger

I thought it was a myth, but the proof was right in front of me

When young girls on TikTok were claiming that the COVID vaccine would make my tits grow, I took it with a grain of salt.

TikTok is full of genuinely useful information.

I learned about some cool-looking sex toys because of it.

I’ve picked up a few tips for managing ADHD, anxiety, and all the nonsense my brain throws at me.

My For You Page even helped me discover more of that nonsense. Being served up a bunch of OCD TikToks was the first step to me getting an official diagnosis.

But it’s not all useful life hacks and daily reminders that my brain is just a teensy bit off-kilter. TikTok also serves me a steady stream of very questionable content.

There’s the guy who claimed that women should stop giving handjobs because they’re pointless. He must have never received one because in reality they’re lubed up loving strokes that feel like being touched by the hand of an angel.

KinkTok is really cool - until you reach the misguided noob side of it. I’ve seen people demonstrating rope ties that could give you nerve damage and hair pulling techniques that look like something you’d do in a catfight, not a bondage scene.

And there’s the whole “reality shifting” thing, which I don’t fully understand but it seems to really excite people who grew up liking Harry Potter just a tad too much.

So, when I started seeing people claim that the Pfizer vaccine gives you bigger boobs or complaining about getting Moderna and being cheated out of an inflated chest, I wasn’t sure which category to put it in.

It could be total and complete nonsense. It wouldn’t be the first outlandish claim about vaccine side effects that has no credibility whatsoever.

But it also had some plausibility to it. Injecting something in your body that can cause an inflammatory response could technically cause some boobilicious inflammation too.

And luckily, I would get to find out for myself. By the time I saw these TikToks, I was already a couple of days into having the Pfizer vaccine course through my veins.

Big Ol’ Pfizer Boobs

I started noticing the effects almost immediately after I learned about them.

All of a sudden, I felt a little more heavy chested.

I knew it could be a placebo effect, though. I might have wished so hard for big vaccine titties that I convinced myself I had them.

I hit up Google for confirmation and I found it.

Turns out, Pfizer boobs are pretty damn common.

Bodies react to vaccines in a lot of different ways. In this case, it reacts with unilateral axillary lymphadenopathy - which I guess is the medical term for big honkers.

There’s a bit of a dark side to this story. All that tit swelling has been messing with mammogram results and giving false positives for symptoms of breast cancer.

But for the most part, it’s just been a big titty party.

TikTok was right yet again, and as the days went on, I felt my chest transforming. It was like some kind of horny wizard cast a bimbofication spell on my boobs.

They were unmistakably bigger and fuller. My bras got tighter.

They were firmer than before and twice as heavy as they had been before the injection.

And they were really warm. So warm that I took my temperature to check if I had a fever. I worried that my hot tits were the first symptom of something worse.

But no, no fever. It was just a symptom of having huge melons.

Make the Most of Your Big Naturals

If you’ve been blessed with Pfizer boobs, enjoy your big sweater puppies while you can because they don’t last.

Some people claim that their boobs ballooned for two weeks. I’m sad to report that mine only lasted about seven days.

If you’re still lined up for the Pfizer vaccine, make sure you act fast. You’ve got about a week to get what you can out of them.

Schedule a boudoir shoot and fill out that corset like nobody’s business.

Block off time to take some fire nudes. (Note that I am not responsible if you use them to catfish potential suitors - this article is for educational purposes only.)

Make your husband do a bunch of extra stuff around the house so he can earn the privilege of motorboating those huge big firm tits.

Personally, I spent part of that time taking photographic evidence. I got some before and after shots to see the difference a little immunity can make.

Plus, it’ll be a nice souvenir if I ever want to look back fondly at my big titty week.

I’m glad I got the photos while I could because they’ve gone back to normal now. The girls are back to their usual smaller, lighter, squishier selves.

They feel sort of empty. And a part of me feels empty, too. I got a taste of life with bigger jugs and it’s going to take a while before I get accustomed to my normal cup size again.

A lot of people worry about the side effects of getting vaccinated. But no one warns you that you might actually miss those side effects once they’re gone.

Oh well. At least I still have a second dose to look forward to.

If you’re curious to see my Pfizer tits, I posted a shot of them on my Patreon. My butt’s there too, along with my audio porn and bonus episodes of my podcast.

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