Sorry, But I’ll Take My Chances With the Bear
A bear hasn’t broken my trust yet
I’m sure you’ve seen it by now.
Like a lot of things, it started with a single TikTok. But now it’s turned into a full blown meme.
And it’s a really good one, too. It almost revived my faith in the internet.
It’s just a simple question aimed at the ladies.
“You’re stuck in the woods. Would you rather be there with a strange man or with a bear?”
I didn’t even have to think about it.
Bear. I’m picking the bear.
But then I thought about it more carefully.
And yeah, still the bear.
It’s not just me, either. That’s the answer pretty much every woman is giving.
Which has been a whole lot of fun. Every bear meme I’ve seen has tickled my fancy.
But there seem to be a lot of guys who aren’t having their fancies tickled. Because they’ve seen the meme too, and they’re not laughing. They’re outraged.
I almost get where they’re coming from. They’re scared of bears, which is completely understandable. And they feel the need to “well, actually” women until they’re scared of them too, which is - well, less understandable.
It’s just plain silly, too. I’ve seen Grizzly Man - I don’t need a grizzled man to tell me bears are scary.
But the thing is, those guys are totally missing the point. Because the meme isn’t really about bears at all.
Can’t I Have a Nice Peaceful Walk in the Woods?
Alright look, I’m just going to come right out and say it.
I don’t trust men.
To be fair, I don’t trust women all that much either. But I’ve got my guard way up with men.
Unless a guy has actually earned my trust, I don’t consider him safe.
Because I’ve seen what a lot of men will do when they think they won’t get in trouble. I’ve been on the receiving end of it, too.
I’ve seen seemingly nice guys blow up and get aggressive the moment they get rejected.
I’ve seen men who act kind and considerate turn into manipulative assholes as soon as they don’t get their way.
I’ve seen dudes who treat any woman’s vulnerability as their opportunity.
So yeah, trusting random guys is not a risk worth taking. Not for me, anyway.
Which is why the bear things struck a chord. It gets right at that issue. It speaks to the kinds of experience we’ve all had - and seen other women go through.
We didn’t lose our trust in men out of the blue. Something happened to get us there. A lot of somethings.
And I just don’t have the same feelings about bears. A bear’s never done anything to me. I never had to regret putting myself in a situation where I’d be alone with a bear. I never had to kick to myself for trusting a bear when I really shouldn’t have.
I leave them be. They mind their own business. I gush over them when I see bear videos. It’s a nice parasocial relationship.
I don’t have to change the way I live because of bears.
But strange men are the reason I don’t go out alone at night. It’s why I wouldn’t set foot in the woods by myself.
And that’s why the bear meme tapped into the collective female psyche. Because we’ve all been through hell because of random guys. But bears? They’re just big cuddly beasts.
Now I Know Which Guys I Wouldn’t Go Hiking With
So yeah, the whole bear thing really gets at some collective experience.
Seems it really gets at men, too. Because a lot of them have been vocally butthurt about this.
And honestly, it’s just not a good look.
First of all, the guys throwing fits about it online are real vibe killers.
Like, they saw a circle of girls laughing about something and they couldn’t take it. They had to stomp over and tell them they were wrong for having a good time.
Not cool, bro.
That kind of behavior also shows that they’re not super attentive. Because somehow these men have made it well into adulthood without being attuned to the things women have to worry about, why we all learn to hold our keys between our fingers, and what a lot of men are like under minimal supervision.
It’s an incredibly insecure response, too. There’s a defensiveness in those huffy comments that really doesn’t have to be there.
But I guess it’s there because these guys feel targeted. They see the meme, they hear the jokes, and they’re pissed at the thought that a woman wouldn’t feel safe around them.
And that right there is a huge red flag. Because you shouldn’t trust strange men, but you especially shouldn’t trust men who feel entitled to trust they haven’t earned.
So okay. All joking aside, sure. If I’m actually stranded in the middle of bear country for real, then maybe I’d rather encounter a man than a bear. Maybe.
Especially because I can never remember what I’m supposed to do in a bear encounter.
I know that depending on the type of bear, you’re either supposed to play dead or try to scare it off. But I can never remember which type - brown bears or black bears. And I’d rather not die a grizzly death because I got it wrong.
But if it’s between one of the guys who’s been getting pissed off at the bear meme and a big hungry bear? I think I’ll choose the bear.
At least with the bear, I can lie still on the ground and hope he leaves me alone. There’s a 50% chance it’s the wrong move - but given the alternative, I’ll take those odds.
If you liked this article, you should totally check out the What Actually Makes a Man Attractive (Rolled Sleeves, Wheel Moves, and Good Hands) episode of my dirty and intimate podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!
