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7 Sexy Things You Need Now That Your Kids Are Back in School

7 Sexy Things You Need Now That Your Kids Are Back in School

The house is yours - make the most of it

Note: This post contains nudity (you’re welcome!)


A funny thing happens when your kids get older. Instead of dreading the first day of school, you actually start looking forward to it.

First day drop-offs used to turn me into a wreck. All the worst case scenarios ran through my head on a loop - them being homesick all day, not eating their lunch, not making any friends.

I’d take a deep breath, let them go, and then spend the rest of the day impatiently waiting for pickup time. 

Now it’s the complete opposite.

I’m excited for the start of school because it gives me something I haven’t had in months - an empty house. 

The whole place all to myself. Every single room turns into a quiet space. I’m at peace, zen as all fuck, and I can do whatever the hell I want.

Often, that means giving myself an obscene amount of pleasure.

And yeah, there’s time for jilling off and fucking during the summer. But it’s just not the same.

One of the downsides of having young kids is that you get most of your privacy at night. So you try to cram your entire sex life into that small window

It’s dark, you’re tired, and you feel rushed because you don’t want to stay up too late. It’s not exactly ideal.

A few months of that and you start to really miss daytime sex and masturbation. That’s when your energy levels are still at their highest. And the sun brightening the room makes you feel like you’re in a well-lit porn scene.

If you’re a stay-at-home parent or one who works from home, you can get right back to all that daytime naughtiness as soon as summer break is over.

When school starts, you’ve got hours and hours that you can spend getting yourself off the way you should. You can take your time, do it in whatever room you want to do it in, and be as loud as you want to be. 

It’s the fucking best. 

And it’s even better if you have the right toys to indulge in some mindblowing sex and bomb-ass masturbation

If you finally have the house to yourself, these are a few things that will help you enjoy it to the fullest. 

A Thrusting Dildo for a Good, Long Mechanical Fuck

Getting some dildos completely changed the way I masturbate. 

It added penetrative stimulation, which is so fucking good. Before I started loading up on silicone cocks, I’d put all the focus on my clit. And that was great, of course. Clit stimulation is where it’s at. But the more types of pleasure I can experience, the better. 

It also helps me give myself some powerful blended orgasms. Thrusting a toy inside me while I pleasure my clit means I get to come extra hard.

But mostly, it slowed me down. 

Playing with dildos encouraged me to really take my time when I’m getting myself off.

Instead of going for a quick, immediate climax, I’ll warm up by fucking myself with a toy. That way, I can enjoy a few penetrative orgasms before vibrating my clit for a big climax.

I’ll take the time to pump the toy in my pussy while I imagine getting fucked. That makes my fantasies way more vivid than they would be if I just stuck a vibrator between my legs. 

It’s not like there’s anything wrong with a quick jill. But it’s so much more satisfying when you get to really take your time and indulge yourself.

That’s why it’s a really good idea to add a dildo to your toy collection. But it’s even better if you make it a thrusting dildo. 

My favorite is the Velvet Mini Teddy. It has an incredibly soft texture that feels amazing. It also gives great thrusts that can pump your pussy at a quick speed if you want it to. 

Velvet Mini Teddy (photo by author)

Velvet Mini Teddy (photo by author)

It’s a hands-free machine fuck, which means you can rub your pussy or use other toys while it works you over. Or you can just get in position and let it pound you with a perfect rhythm. 

And if your partner’s around, it’s the perfect way to play around with some MFM threesome roleplay. It’s one guy, two cocks, and you at the center of it all - there’s no better way to start your day. 

An App-Controlled Toy for Public Play

I miss having semi-public sex. Every time I fucked or fooled around somewhere I wasn’t supposed to, it gave me such an intense thrill. 

I loved everything about it. It was naughty. It was taboo. It was a sexy little secret.

It was also kind of risky. 

And when you’re young and full of new relationship energy, you take those risks. You can’t keep your hands off your partner and you’re willing to mess around just about anywhere. 

That’s how you end up getting fingered under a blanket during movie night with your friends. It’s why road head is a thing. It’s why “we could get caught” makes it sound like a good idea instead of a reason to keep your pants on.

But then you grow up, you settle down, and the risk doesn’t quite seem worth it anymore. Especially once you have kids.

That’s one of the reasons I’m so drawn to app-controlled sex toys. It’s the only way I’m going to relive the thrill of semi-public sex without feeling like I’m putting too much on the line.

And being without the kids for a while is the perfect opportunity to play with them. 

When it’s just you and your partner, you can turn practically anything into an opportunity for sexual stimulation. Just wear the toy and give them complete control over it.

They can tease your pussy while you’re waiting for your lunch at a restaurant. 

You can get surprise vibrations while shopping for your groceries. 

Or just walk through town without anyone knowing you’re getting sexual pleasure on your stroll. 

No matter how or where you do it, it’s going to be incredibly fucking hot.

The most popular toy for public play is the Lush by Lovense. I’ve got one and it’s basically perfect for playing when you’re out and about. It’s insertable, which makes it extremely discreet. Using the app won’t look any different than just messing around on your phone. And the vibrations are extremely stimulating and arousing.

When I finally get to go out for a naughty bit of public fun, though, I think it’s the Ferri I’ll be wearing. 

Lovense Ferri (photo by author)

Lovense Ferri (photo by author)

That’s another Lovense toy, but it’s designed to give clit stimulation instead of internal vibrations. It’s a panty vibe but it actually holds in place really well. And it’s small and quiet enough that it wouldn’t be noticeable at all.

And if you happen to be sensitive enough, the Ferri might even make you come. That might be a stronger reaction than you’d want to have in a public place, so play carefully. 

Porn That’s Worth Watching From Start to Finish

For most of my twenties, I masturbated in a flash.

I didn’t have a whole lot of time and even less privacy. The best I could do was lock myself in the bedroom and make myself come as quickly as I could.

Back then, tube sites were my best friend. 

I’d go to Pornhub and look for something that would reliably turn me on. Women in schoolgirl uniforms getting it from behind, step siblings getting up to no good, closeup shots of edging - that sort of thing.

I’d scan through a clip, find a hot moment, and let it play while my favorite vibrator did its thing.

It was great for a one-woman quickie. It was short and to the point - like getting off to a GIF. 

Once I started giving myself more time to masturbate, though, I upgraded to the really good stuff. 

You can still romance yourself to random clips. But it’s so much more satisfying when you can watch full scenes instead. Porn features can be incredibly entertaining, too. And finding series that cater to your personal preferences is just plain smart. 

Paying for porn isn’t just something I did because I wanted to support the people who created it. It’s how I got access to the quality stuff, the kind that’s worth watching all the way through. 

Hold on, I need to bookmark this (image from Wicked)

Hold on, I need to bookmark this (image from Wicked)

It’s the perfect thing to watch when you’ve got the place to yourself and you want something super naughty.

Lately, I’ve been getting into Wicked. Their porn parodies are really entertaining, even when I haven’t seen the original. They’re surprisingly high-quality productions by porn standards and really fun to watch.

I never watch superhero movies. But you bet your buns I’m still going to watch them fuck

And finding out they had full-length Snow White and Sleeping Beauty porn films was a real “just take my money” moment for me. 

But my go-to site is still Adult Time

They just have so many series that hit my personal sweet spots. 

Bookmarking this one too! (image from Girlsway / Adult Time)

Bookmarking this one too! (image from Girlsway / Adult Time)

There’s Pure Taboo, which has extremely arousing storylines full of sexual tension. Every scene has a dark atmosphere that makes it feel like you’re watching an old-school erotic thriller - except instead of seeing sideboob and some sex under a blanket, it’s wall-to-wall hardcore.

Girlsway is perfect when I’m in the mood for all-girl action. The storylines are lighter and more playful. It’s the kind of thing that made me wish I had a girlfriend - or maybe just knew a cute girl to put the moves on me. And the pussy eating is always impressive and enthusiastic. 

There are series focused on massage porn, MILFs, BBWs, tattooed hotties, and just about everything else. 

I really can’t get enough of it. It’s like Netflix except I never scroll through the front page wondering why there’s nothing to watch.

A Suction Toy for Incredibly Intense Orgasms

There’s one thing every slow, long, indulgent masturbation session needs - a really fucking strong ending.

Weaker orgasms can be pretty satisfying. Having a few mini ones along the way to your final climax is just part of the fun.

But when you’ve got a nice, long buildup, you’ll want it to cap it all off with a powerful payoff. It’s like putting a nice, pretty, polka-dot bow on your self-care session. 

One of the most reliable ways to do that is with a suction toy. They’re much more precise than vibrators and focus exclusively on your clit. And for most women, they result in even faster and stronger orgasms. 

Seriously, every time I put one of my suction toys to my clit, it’s game over. It gives me intense, powerful stimulation that can bring me to a climax in less than a minute.

And the orgasms are so strong that it feels like I’ve completely lost control of my body. I just give myself over to the toy - it’s in charge now, not me.

It feels fucking incredible and leaves me in a deep state of post-orgasmic tranquility. Kind of like I just meditated, except it wasn’t boring at all.

That’s a really good note to end on after spending half an hour or more touching, teasing, and pleasuring yourself.

Lelo Sila (photo by author)

Lelo Sila (photo by author)

The clit sucking toy I use the most is the Sila. It’s a cute little toy that’s easy to hold, comfortable to use, and sucks the orgasms right out of my body.

When you’ve let your imagination go to some very dirty places while you were enjoying a warm bath or just spent an hour getting horned up watching a couple of great porn scenes, you’re going to be happy you have one of these toys with you. 

A Fleshlight for an Extremely Satisfying Stroke

If you’ve got a dick, you should absolutely be making the most of your solo time as well.

That means getting yourself a stroker. 

I know you’ve got your hand and it does a fine job. But it just can’t compare to a soft, squishy, textured sex toy designed to give your cock some amazing sensations.

Once you try a good stroker, you’ll never go back. No one does. They’re just too good.

And a really good place to start is with a Fleshlight

Their external designs look very realistic and feel nice and soft. The internal textures will rub and stroke your dick in all the right ways. And the outer casing makes it really comfortable to hold and use.

Fleshlight Pink Lady Stamina Trainer (photo by author)

Fleshlight Pink Lady Stamina Trainer (photo by author)

The best part, though, is that they have strokers molded from the bodies of some of the hottest pornstars

That’s a really great way to help you indulge in some very explicit fantasies. And it’s got to be an amazing toy to pair with the right porn.

I can only imagine how hot it would be to watch an Emily Willis scene while getting to stroke off with her pussy. Or getting to pump into a replica of Angela White’s asshole while watching her do anal on your laptop. 

If I had a dick, that’s exactly what I’d do with it. That’s gotta beat a quick jerk with your hand. 

A Squirting Dildo for Your Messiest Fantasies

Using a squirting dildo is a bit of a production. 

You’re going to have to load it up with some fake come before you get started. Then you’ll have to do a bit of roleplaying with it, even if it’s all in your head. Once it’s all done, you’re going to have to clean yourself up a bit.

But that’s actually part of the fun. Because the whole point of using a squirting dildo is making all your messiest fantasies come true. 

It’s not the kind of thing you’ll want to pull out for a quick masturbation session or to give yourself a fast fuck. But it’s perfect for those times when you want to play pretend and imagine you’re getting creampied

Seriously, it’s one thing to masturbate while picturing someone fucking you and pumping their spunk into you. It takes it to a whole other level when you can actually feel yourself getting filled up.

Betty’s Blaster (photo by author)

Betty’s Blaster (photo by author)

And it’s great for external cumshots, too. If you like to imagine yourself getting a money shot on your tits, having a guy blast all over your stomach, or taking a messy facial like a good girl, a squirting dildo will let you play it all out. 

I’ve tried a couple of squirting dildos, but my personal favorite is the Betty’s Blaster

It’s a generous but still manageable size. It’s got a decently realistic design. And it vibrates, too.

But the best part is that it comes at the press of a button. There’s no bulb to squeeze, no syringe to press down - just one button that will make it blast you with fake come

It’s good, messy fun that will make your most breedable fantasies feel so much more real.

Restraints - Because No One Needs You Right Now

I love indulging in afternoon sex. That’s when I’m most turned on and I can use a break from work right around that time.

There’s just one downside. I never get tied up during the afternoon.

That really fucking sucks because bondage is so hot to me. The more restraints I’ve got on me, the hornier I’ll get. Throw a blindfold over my eyes and Mr. Austin can basically have his way with me - I’m all his until I’ve had a bunch of orgasms and come back to my senses.

But having sex when the kids are still pitter pattering through the house means that I need to be able to stop and get dressed in a flash. I can’t be messing around with straps and buckles when one of them could start crying at any moment.

That’s another reason to turn the school day into your little sex oasis. You can finally turn your bedroom into a playful mini dungeon and use as much BDSM gear as you want.

No one’s going to be yelling for you while you’re strapped to the bedposts. You won’t have to get up and deal with some kid crisis while you’re gagged and blindfolded. 

You can just get strapped down and not have a single care in the world except for being a good subby girl and riding through the orgasms.

Get edged. Get fucked by a machine. Get gently facefucked. Get spanked and fingered. You’re all tied up with nowhere to go, which means you can finally make the best of it.

My favorite restraints are the ones by Sportsheets. They’re comfortable and reliable. They’re easy to put on, adjust, and remove. 

I use their Under the Bed restraint system the most, but I also love playing around with a simple set of cuffs

But follow your kinky little heart. Get a spanking bench if that’s how you want to get off. Buy yourself a spreader bar if that’s your jam. Get hogtied if that turns you on. Or get a beginner bondage kit if you want to do a little exploring. 

You’ll finally be able to give up control to your partner instead of having to deal with a million little things. 

Fuck Summer - Bring on the Sexy Fall

I used to think summer was the sexiest season. 

Mostly, that’s because I went to parties looking to get laid. After I settled down, the warm nights were still the ones that inspired me to take my clothes off and get naughty.

Summer means something completely different to me now. 

It doesn’t mean last-minute casual hookups anymore. It’s not long nights where we run out of things to do except have sex.

Now it means a house filled with kids who run from room to room. It means having to constantly make snacks, find missing socks, and making sure everyone has sunscreen on before they go in the backyard.

So no, summer’s not the sexiest season to me. Not anymore.

Now it’s the fall. That’s when cute ladies post photos of themselves in big sweaters with no bottoms. It’s when the skimpy costumes start showing up. 

But more importantly, it’s when the house is finally empty and quiet enough for me to get off really fucking well. This year, I intend to take full advantage of it. And I really hope you will too.

This post contains affiliate links to all the sex toys, accessories, and porn sites you’ll need to have an epic and orgasmic fall! Use the code LOVEEMMA to save 15% on anything you order from Betty’s Toy Box! LOVEEMMA will also get you a great discount when you sign up for Wicked or Adult Time!

If you liked this article, you should totally check out the No More Cockblocking (Better Locks, Early Bedtimes, and Having More Sex as Parents) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!

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