2 Ways to Cure a Headache With Your Vibrator
Thank you, TikTok
I knew I was being too optimistic.
I had mapped out my whole week and it was going to be a pretty damn good one too.
I was going to write a new porn review. Then I’d do some hands-on research for a sex toy review. I could also squeeze in time to draft, edit, and post a couple of other articles.
By Wednesday, there’d be a brand new episode of Pillow Talk in my subscribers’ podcast feeds and I’d be walking over to the donut shop to celebrate.
I was even planning to sit down and record multiple episodes of my upcoming Seinfeld sex podcast, What’s The Deal With Fucking?
If I played my cards right, I’d even have my newsletter drafted the day before it goes out instead of scrambling to finish it on Sunday morning.
I know, I know. I can’t believe I was so cocky.
I should’ve known that something would come along and jab a stick right through my bicycle spokes.
And I should’ve known that it would be a headache.
I get them all the time because my body is kind of a perfect storm for brewing up headaches. Hormonal issues, anxiety disorders, and food sensitivities mean that I’m popping Extra Strength Tylenol on the regular.
This latest headache started yesterday but I really felt it this morning. I woke up with the kind of throbbing pain that’s just too strong to power through.
Writing with this much pain is a bitch, but it’s doable. Podcasting is basically impossible, though - I’d be too grumpy and distracted.
I medicated it right away with a dose of pain killers and a jolt of caffeine from a can of Pepsi Max.
It wasn’t enough. The pain was persistent and impossible to ignore.
If I was going to make it through the day without turning into an achy, whiny mess, I’d need to get the big guns.
So, I grabbed my vibrator.
Stimulate Your Clit
There are actually two ways to get pain relief from your vibrator.
The most obvious one is to use it as intended. Turn it on, rub it against your clit, and give yourself as many orgasms as you feel like having.
That’s it. That’s all it takes. You’ll get some intense pleasure, release some sexual tension, and relieve some of the pain.
It’s legit. There are studies that show a correlation between orgasms and headache relief. But apparently, no one’s entirely sure why.
One theory is that the endorphins released from sexual pleasure have a pain-killing effect. And sure, let’s go with that. I have no idea. I’m not a doctor - I just fuck them in my sexual fantasies.
Technically, the vibrator is optional. What you really need is an orgasm. In fact, a lot of the articles that talk about this specifically recommend using sex to relieve your headache.
But I dunno, guys. Maybe I’m the weird one here, but the last thing I want to do when I have a headache is fuck.
That’s a lot of effort when you’re suffering. Especially since you’ll need some extended foreplay to get in the mood when there’s pain coursing through your body.
You’ll probably feel the need to give a little pleasure in return even though you just want to lie in the dark with an icepack on your forehead.
Then there’s all the vigorous movement involved in fucking all the way to a climax.
And if you have to get on top at all - well, forget about it.
Nah, you’re in pain and you want some relief. Keep it simple. Reach for the vibrator and make yourself come quickly. Save those other shenanigans for a day when you’re not cursing your existence.
There’s one catch, though.
It doesn’t work for everyone.
Some people can leave the painkillers in the medicine cabinet and vibe their way to relief instead. Others will use an orgasm the way I used that can of Pepsi - to give the meds a helping hand.
Sadly, that’s not the case for me. I’m one of the unfortunate people who get the orgasm and then fall right back into a headache that’s just as painful - or even worse than before, thanks to all the tensing.
If that’s you, don’t put away the vibrator just yet. You’ve still got one more shot at using it to chase away your headache.
Stimulate Your Temples
A few weeks ago, I came across a TikTok that demonstrated a simple way to get some headache relief.
I can’t find the video anymore, but I remember the advice. Strap a vibrator to your head.
Okay, you don’t have to actually strap it to your head. That’s what the user who uploaded the video did, but it’s optional. What really matters is that you locate the area where the pain is concentrated, turn on your vibrator, and place it against that spot.
Your temples, your forehead - wherever it is, just vibe it.
Her reasoning was simple. Apparently, the vibrations from a massage chair give you relief by reducing inflammation in your muscles. Strategically applying vibrations could theoretically soothe the inflammation that causes some headaches.
That seemed plausible enough, so I decided to give it a shot.
I rummaged through my growing collection of vibrators for one that would cover a lot of surface area.
Then I made sure the bedroom door was locked because this is #2 on the list of vibrator activities I don’t want someone walking in on.
With my privacy secured, I went ahead and vibed my forehead.
I felt a bit silly. The vibrations felt funny. The one thing I didn’t feel as much, though, was the headache.
Unfortunately, it didn’t cure it. The throbbing came back soon after.
But it did give me some temporary relief. My vibrator shook some of the pain out of my skull.
Once again, I have to thank TikTok. After suffering all morning, I was grateful for anything that helped me feel better.
I knew my vibrator wouldn’t let me down. I didn’t get to enjoy sexual pleasure. I didn’t get to orgasm my way back to health. But I still got to stimulate the pain away.
Your Vibrator’s Always Got Your Back
I guess I got to play with a sex toy after all. But I’m not any closer to being ready for a new review.
My week’s still partially fucked and I’m completely unfucked.
But it’s not a total loss. At least I found a new way to stop a headache from completely obliterating me.
And this is just one more reason to keep your vibrator handy. Because even when you’re in too much pain to come, it’s still got your back.
I used the Pillow Talk Sultry to vibe my pain away - and it works incredibly well for naughty stuff too! That’s an affiliate link, by the way. If you click on it and treat yourself to anything from the site, I earn a small commission and you’ll be giving yourself all the pain relief and sexual pleasure you need! And be sure to use the code LOVEEMMA at checkout to save 15% on your entire order!
If you liked this article, you should totally check out the My Clit Sucking Conversion (Orgasmic Exorcisms and Masturbating to Failure) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk With Emma Austin!
